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Comments the nurse made to me during DD's preschool booster today

(32 Posts)
Goldiefawn Tue 13-May-14 19:33:47

When corrected (politely, by me) after calling my DS, who was with us, a girl:
"It's the hair - he looks like a girl, I can't tell" (ds is 20 months and fringe is still above eye level)

She continued to refer to him as she for the next 15 minutes.

"Well that's a mouthful" after asking DS's name (it's really not - 4 syllables for first and last name!)

After DD moved and cried a bit during the injection:
"Well that doesn't normally happen - I don't get many moving about and crying at this age". She has said this during ds first injections too! I mean really - do all of your dc not cry at injections?

She made me feel really crap about the fact that dd cried and moved with other further comments - I know this doesn't sound that bad, but she has done all of dd and ds injections and each time it's the same type of comments.
At the time I brush it off, then I get home and I'm like - oh, that's a bit moody.

I'm sure I'm being over sensitive - can't really convey it all on screen, it was just lots of little comments that I could do without!

Just needed to rant really....

RevoltingPeasant Tue 13-May-14 19:36:51

OP that's annoying but I think she just has a poor manner and it doesn't warrant a complaint or anything.

Think about it this way: if she is like that with everyone, she probably has a lot of people pissed off with her, whereas you don't have that problem, so you can feel smug grin

Goldiefawn Tue 13-May-14 19:44:02

Thank you - I wouldn't complain, as I understand it's just poor manner - it seemed totally innocent at the time - I was too worried about DD's reaction, and just wanted her to hurry up!

Goldiefawn Tue 13-May-14 19:45:06

It just made a horrible experience even worse tbh!

Goldiefawn Tue 13-May-14 19:47:09

Posted too soon - as both my dd and ds have cried at their injections - not horrendously - they stopped in seconds, but every time she has made me feel like there is something wrong with them, as all of her other patients never cry apparently!

YoureBeingASillyBilly Tue 13-May-14 19:48:37

My ds1 howled the place down at his pre school jabs. Ds2 giggled during his. Your dd was perfectly normal and i very much doubt the nurse ha never had a child wiggle and cry. Unless that was her first day doing jabs.

WestEast Tue 13-May-14 19:52:35

She sounds like she needs to remember her professional attitude.
Oh and I have fully grown adults wiggle and cry sometimes when I have to give them injections, if she's never seen a kiddie do it then she's a liar. Hope your DD is ok now smile

LizzieMint Tue 13-May-14 19:53:28

If she's done this every time you've seen her, I'd guess she does it every time she injects anyone. Maybe she thinks her technique's rubbish?

FWIW, my DDs have never cried at jabs and my DS has cried at all of them. And I've heard quite a few scream the place down! They are all different.

pixiegumboot Tue 13-May-14 19:57:59

My son remembered the nurse giving the jabs, and at his second lot of jabs recognised the nurse shouted no! and wacked the nurse on the arm!

Hopefully Tue 13-May-14 20:01:22

DS2 screamed like each and every toe nail was being plucked out with rusty tongs during and after every single one of his jabs, and continued to scream for aaaages afterwards. I needed gin in large quantities after them. DS1 just looked hurt and wept silent tears.

Such brave children... grin

EverythingCounts Tue 13-May-14 20:08:33

I do think it warrants a comment directly to her if she is doing any more of your kids' injections. Being a school / paediatric nurse does (or should) require a particularly sensitive and caring approach to the job and hers sounds quite a way from that. I would certainly have been tempted to say 'I really find it hard to believe that no other child you've injected has ever wriggled or cried, given that there are plenty of adults who react badly to them'. I also think deliberate rudeness - which is how I would see the repeated use of 'she' after being told the child is a boy - is worthy of comment 'You seem to have forgotten that I just told you he's a boy. Are you sure you're feeling OK?'

While I wouldn't be writing letters to the PCT (or whoever they are now), I do think people who have the power to make a difficult experience better, and in fact make it worse, should have that pointed out to them. None of this is rocket science. If no-one ever mentions it, scores more kids/parents will feel upset when it could perhaps have been avoided.

Arion Tue 13-May-14 20:11:47

DD screamed and howled so loudly at her pre-school booster that my friend heard her in the waiting room! Plus she tried to jump off my leg whilst the needle was still in, mid injection!

TitusFlavius Tue 13-May-14 20:14:29

You aren't being oversensitive - she sounds really unprofessional. Even the "hair" comments (which my DS still gets at 12), dear god, this isn't 1955.

If you do say something to her (even if it's just "this isn't 1955", or "he's a kid, he's allowed to cry when a needle is stuck into him" or "perhaps your technique isn't up to scratch today?") you have right on your side.

theresnowheretohidewithachip Tue 13-May-14 20:14:57

She sounds awful. The length of your son's hair or whether he has a longish name is not something she should be commenting on. Especially in a derogatory way. Would she have said that about a Sikh lad who had hair down to his waist? Or about a Polish child with a name that is tricky for English people to pronounce? Very unprofessional indeed and that fact that you came out feeling crap that your small child cried when someone stuck something sharp into his skin, is just horrible sad

AllOutOfNaiceHam Tue 13-May-14 20:18:28

Last time ds1 had to have injections (IM antibiotics), three adults had to hold him and you could hear him screaming on the other side of the ward. He was 3.5.

MeanwhileHighAboveTheField Tue 13-May-14 20:39:10

That sounds annoying. I once said to a nurse when she stuck a needle into my lovely baby's chubby thigh and made him scream "You must hate this part of your job"

Her reply "No, I don't really mind it" hmm

Goldiefawn Tue 13-May-14 21:10:07

Oh thank you so much for your comments - I feel so much better now. I was in a heightened state at the time, trying to keep dd calm, I didn't really think of 'come backs' - she was about to stab dd twice so I wanted her to be kind!,

BigBirdFlies Tue 13-May-14 21:23:19

Dd1 still remembers her pre school boosters. She was given a toy clock to look at, while a doctor and nurse simultaneously injected each leg. She blames that clock for the fact that it took her years to learn to tell the time.

I remember the nurse asking me what primary school I was sending dd to. When I told her, she said it wasn't a good school, why was I sending her there and not to XX school hmm.

Dd's school had been in special measures a few years previously but had turned around, and was our first choice. I've had 2 dc go through the school and both have thrived. Yes, I was quite annoyed at the nurse's comment. Probably deserved a Did you mean to be so rude? Dd is now in Y9, you don't forget these things.

Itsfab Tue 13-May-14 21:28:27

If you child moved when the needle went in I would be keeping an eye on the injection site.

My son wasn't vaccinated properly and ended up in hospital with cellulitis.

MammaTJ Tue 13-May-14 21:30:20

My DD age 8 has a proper melt down for her annual Flu jab. She has to have is but she is histerical. She has it!

Ask the woman if she has really never encountered such behaviour! Ask local people if their children jave presented with such behaiour! The difference in the two may tell the truth!

PicandMinx Tue 13-May-14 21:31:08

HCP should remember that they are professionals and they should not comment, offer an opinion or make personal remarks about their patients.

toldmywrath Tue 13-May-14 21:40:21

I'm wondering if the nurse is much older than you & therefore deems it alright to talk down to you in this way. It's totally unacceptable, of course, but not worth a formal complaint. I'd be tempted to raise it with your GP perhaps when you next visit.
Hopefully Such brave children... this made me laugh

elliejjtiny Tue 13-May-14 21:48:38

DS2 has his flu jab every year. He's 6 and screams the place down. I can't take him when I get my other DC's their jabs as he screams then as well. Whenever he sees the nurse at our surgery he says "I don't like you, you put holes in people". OP maybe if your nurse had to give my DS a jab she would comment on how well behaved your DC were grin.

ZanyMobster Tue 13-May-14 21:52:48

She sounds horrible, all children react differently to things but I would imagine a little bit of crying is completely normal, it would be odd not to react at all, even adults tend to cringe.

My DS had to have a flu jab at age 7, the first attempt took an hour and we couldn't keep him still enough, we came back 2 weeks later and it took another 30 mins until DH arrived so we held him down, it was awful but the nurse was lovely and said although it is very rare they occasionally have a child or adult react like that. Clearly MammaTJ has the same problem with her DD!

He is usually so calm and sensible, I have no idea what was going through his mind.

Deverethemuzzler Tue 13-May-14 21:53:45

All my five have yowled.
I hate the preschool boosters most. They are really hard to keep still when they are that big!

At least I could stick them on the boob or put their dummies in when they were tiny.

Goldiefawn Wed 14-May-14 08:58:43

Thanks for the replies.

itsfab sorry about your son, I think the vaccination was successfully given in the end - she just has 4 holes in her arms instead of 2 sad
DD's a bit red cheeked this morning so will keep an eye on her.

toldmywrath yes she is much older (near retirement age I'd say, as she has children of her own older than me, and my mum is retirement age) She is very chatty just kind of says the wrong thing a lot!

bigbirdflies my nurse talked about schools too! But she was talking about how they "didn't have all this faff in my day (choosing schools) - you just got what you were given and got on with it"!

MammaTJ Wed 14-May-14 09:10:10

ZanyMobster my DD would just get more hysterical if we took time over it. Luckily the surgery are fab, prescribe numbing cream prior to it, allow us to push in front of the massive queue of old people waiting for it and let me pin her down while they do it quickly. She is always convinced that the needle is left in her arm, so they make sure to show it to her afterwards too!

She has a heart condition, so has to have it!

FannyFifer Wed 14-May-14 09:20:59

4 holes instead of two,so she basically missed both times?

Did she not tell you to hold your child securely so he couldn't move?

I would not be happy about that at all.

Goldiefawn Wed 14-May-14 09:27:28

Yes DD moved both times - I tried to hold her still but she's so strong!

ZanyMobster Wed 14-May-14 09:37:53

MammaTJ - The first attempt I was on my own as we didn't know he would have to have it then the second time DH was stuck in traffic so was late. I was traumatised let alone DS. He has asthma so has to have it annually now sad

Ploppy16 Wed 14-May-14 09:50:07

Our nurses are great, whenever they can if the child is having more than one jab they have 2 nurses doing them. Can't remember which set had 3 at the same time but they did one in each leg together and then the third immediately afterwards. And they have chocolate buttons to hand if you forget your distraction. There are a couple of issues at our surgery, the injections are not one of them!
She sounds awful tbh OP, quite unprofessional to comment on a child's hair or name. A midwife kept pronouncing DD2's name wrong - her name has a silent letter in the middle and sounds ridiculous if you say it- and wouldn't be told the correct way. I was 8 hours post birth at the time and got a little snitty with her..

Itsfab Wed 14-May-14 12:24:06

4 holes? shocksadhmm. I would reuse to let her vaccinate my children ever again tbh.

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