Hahahaha! I love it!

He's done a few like that, he has far far too much time on his hands methinks.

Cheers me up no end though.

HilARious.

"I'm miming disappointment"

'Tis very much a piss-take and came about after lots of communications with the people organising the Mime Fest.
I'll see if I can copy and paste it all.

Ah ha! I'm just joshing with you, Helen. See? I can even mime by Email.

That's how keen at Mime I am. Really, I try and do it all the time.In shops, in my flat, everywhere.

I've even formed my own mime act. It's brilliant. You'll love it. It's called, 'The Fantastic Cordallius; Adventures in Mime and Space'. What do you think? Pretty good, isn't it?

It's like a normal mime act, but different. Like, what I mean is, you know how other mime acts tend not to talk? Well, I can talk, so I do. I don't know why others don't. It's much easier this way. I mean, it's hard enough for audiences to know what's going on as it is. Doesn't it make sense just to tell them? I meam, really? Look, for instance,"I've got a box, which I've just climbed out of. Now I am happy", (make happy face)

Oh yeah. And I'm not like a total pov, or anything, so whilst other mimes have to 'pretend' to do stuff like drink glasses of water, which don't really exist, I mean, what's the point of that? I can actually afford both a glass and some water, so, really, I just drink one of those. Likewise, I prefer to use real walls and doors to walk through and touch. Sorry, I touch the walls and walk through doors, not the other way round. That wouldn't make any sense. Unless I was a ghost!

Don't think I think ghosts exist. I'm not mad.

So, there you go. In my own way, I'm like probably the best mime artist there's ever been, ever. So, I suppose, what I'm asking is, how does 'The Fantastic Cordallius; Adventures in Mime and Space' get on the 2010 festival?

Thanks!

Simon S. Cordall

From: SIMON CORDALL <>
To: mimefest@easynet.co.uk
Sent: Wednesday, 21 October, 2009 12:47:00 PM
Subject: Fw: Mime Artist - Query

Hello?

From: Helen Lannaghan <mimefest@easynet.co.uk>
To: SIMON CORDALL <>
Sent: Wednesday, 21 October, 2009 1:11:13 PM
Subject: Re: Mime Artist - Query

Hi Simon

Sorry for the delay, we're extremely busy at the moment as the festival starts in 10 weeks.
The line-up was completed some time ago, so we're starting to look at the programme for 2011.
The first step is for you to send us a clip of the work you want to propose and we'll take it from there.

Best wishes
Helen

From: SIMON CORDALL <>
To: Helen Lannaghan <mimefest@easynet.co.uk>
Sent: Sunday, 25 October, 2009 7:32:03 PM
Subject: Re: Mime Artist - Query

Hi there Helen!

There you go. My 2011 London International Mime Festival application: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z7WvZCXbgKE

It's bloody brilliant. No really, it is. Honestly, I bet you've never seen miming this good, ever. And you're, like, the Mime Czars of the whole world and everything!

I guess, if you want me to headline the 2011 Festival, well... I guess, if you really want me to, but, honestly, what about the others? I mean, God knows, they're screwed either way. I mean, even if I go on first or last, people will be there to just see me, unless....

... No, that's it. People will just be there to see me. It's a real head scratcher, isn't it? Hang on..What if we organised another International Mime Festival? One that just featured me?! Yahoo! That could be the only way to be fair to the other, (lesser) mimes. I don't know, what do you think? Would that work? Would it?

Best regards,

Simon S. Cordall
World's Greatest Mime
From: SIMON CORDALL <>
To: mimefest@easynet.co.uk
Sent: Wednesday, 28 October, 2009 12:54:15 PM
Subject: Fw: Mime Artist - Query

You're pretty impressed, aren't you?

I can tell.

From: SIMON CORDALL <>
To: mimefest@easynet.co.uk
Sent: Thursday, 29 October, 2009 11:39:36 AM
Subject: Fw: Mime Artist - Query

Err... Hello?

From: Helen Lannaghan <mimefest@easynet.co.uk>
To: SIMON CORDALL <>
Sent: Thursday, 29 October, 2009 1:30:21 PM
Subject: Re: Mime Artist - Query

I'm speechless...

--------------------------------------------------------------
From: SIMON CORDALL <>
To: Helen Lannaghan <mimefest@easynet.co.uk>
Sent: Thursday, 29 October, 2009 2:44:32 PM
Subject: Re: Mime Artist - Query

It's OK. That's a perfectly understandable reaction. Though, I guess, if you're a mime already, being speechless isn't all that unusual for you.

So, having viewed my, (awesome) audition film, can I ask if I should be keeping January 2011 free? Can I?

Please?

From: Helen Lannaghan <mimefest@easynet.co.uk>
To: SIMON CORDALL <>
Sent: Thursday, 29 October, 2009 2:48:30 PM
Subject: Re: Mime Artist - Query

Well, I think you should definitely find something else to do in January 2011...

--------------------------------------------------------------

From: SIMON CORDALL <>
To: Helen Lannaghan <mimefest@easynet.co.uk>
Sent: Thursday, 29 October, 2009 2:59:56 PM
Subject: Re: Mime Artist - Query

I'm miming 'disappointment'

<whispers>

It is a piss-take, right?

OMFG!!!!

Get him on BGT!!

He could so beat those dancing edjits and duff singers!!!!

Simon Cowell will LOVE him!!!! LOLOLOLOL!!!

Sorry, could only manage 46 seconds.
Good luck Rhubs.

Ummmm.....

Is this your DH?....He's lucky he didn't take his head of on the washing lines.