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Mumsnet Discussions: _Chat : WHat would you do..... (2 messages)
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Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By M44 on Wed 19-Nov-08 15:51:02
long story- synopsis I hope will be short.
Friend will be referred to as L.
L and I had been very good friends from the time our dd's were about one. L had many family problems which I supported her through and at times was 'manic' herself, which again I supported her through. She becmae ds1 godmother and we remained very close until our children started school. Her dd is an only child and is very immature, bullish and overbearing, so at the end of reception school and I requested they be separated and move into different classes. By this time my relationship was beginning to fail- she was displaying signs of empty nest syndrome really and got involved with the gossips at school and started taking sides. People who had known this lady for a while noticed changes in her behaviour and kept asking me if she was ok and being loyal to her never once divulged anything to them- just listened and said I would keep an eye on things. Well it got so bad that in one week I had about 20 people ask me about her- from neighbours and local policeman(!) I decided to talk to her- so gently and it was so hard and explained I was worried etc and was she alright, was there anything I could do etc. Anyway she hasn't spoken to me since. Me being me and trying to respect her stepped away from my involvement in the school, to allow her to have a posititve experience with her only child and it has blighted our experience with dd2. I have 2 ither children to go through the school and I would have thought that like most parents her interests would have moved up to the juniors now, so I could get on with the infants again, but she has stayed and remained on the inclusion group which I was a key member of and would like to be again as ds has medical issues that will need dealing with.
I cannot bear conflict and I know she shouldn't have a 'hold'over me and I have tried talking to her- but just get blanked so I don't know what to do- I want to enjoy my child's education not bt anxious about school etc.
What would you lovely lot do?
I will say before anyone jumps down my throat- I did not interfere or criticise her- I was a good friend who took a great deal of time and care and concern over her. Help!
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By wearymummy on Thu 20-Nov-08 15:02:39
I think you've answered this yourself, she shouldn't have a hold over you! You sound as if you have been a model friend to her, and you sound like a nice decent person. the problem seems to be with her not you. I would hold your head high at the school gates, you've done nothing wrong except try and do the right thing. If she doesn't want to talk to you, it seems to me that it's her loss!


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