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Mumsnet Discussions: _Chat : So, do we need to get the ILs a present AS WELL? What does the MN jury say (18 messages)
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Contact the poster See this person's profile Contact mumsnet about this post By saltire on Wed 19-Nov-08 15:12:23
DH and I and SIL are paying for their Silver Wedding party next weekend.
We are paying for food and the hir eof the place for 60 guests, wine for each guest on arrival, flowers for step MIL and a bottle of whisky for FIL. Plus there is the £100 petrol to get us up to Scotland

DH says we "need" to get them a present, I say no, as the party is their present. He said that SIL has got them a picture frame, so I said that's becasue she has paid F* all towards the party or done any oragniasing, even though she lives in the same town as them, and we live an 8 hour drive away.
TBH I don't want any more expense.
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By cornsilk on Wed 19-Nov-08 15:14:18
No.
Contact the poster See this person's profile Contact mumsnet about this post By 2shoes on Wed 19-Nov-08 15:16:28
no
Contact the poster See this person's profile Contact mumsnet about this post By louii on Wed 19-Nov-08 15:16:48
You are already giving gifts, the flowers and Whisky.
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By gothicmama on Wed 19-Nov-08 15:17:36
I would say the party is the present perhaps get desposable cameras or be photographer for the day and create a 'photo album of the event as a compromise present
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By elliott on Wed 19-Nov-08 15:46:33
No.
Contact the poster See this person's profile Contact mumsnet about this post By doggiesayswoof on Wed 19-Nov-08 15:51:12
No.

But, but.... will it look strange to them if they get something from SIL and not from you? They won't know about the breakdown of the spending for the party.
Contact the poster See this person's profile Contact mumsnet about this post By Flier on Wed 19-Nov-08 15:53:14
no, give them a card and write in it somethinglike "We hope you enjoy your party", with all our love from saltire and your son xx"
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By hullygully on Wed 19-Nov-08 15:53:46
Frame the receipts...?
Contact the poster See this person's profile Contact mumsnet about this post By Flynnie on Wed 19-Nov-08 16:13:17
Gosh no. You are already giving them a massive gift.
Contact the poster See this person's profile Contact mumsnet about this post By Dropdeadfred on Wed 19-Nov-08 16:14:48
Let them know, in the most subtle way possible that YOU PAID for their party
Contact the poster See this person's profile Contact mumsnet about this post By saltire on Wed 19-Nov-08 16:15:40
9-0 in my favour so far!
Contact the poster See this person's profile Contact mumsnet about this post By Flier on Wed 19-Nov-08 16:16:31
MY REPLY WAS MY SUBTLE WAY OF LETTING THEM KNOW (oops sorry) that you had paid - too subtle?

Maybe you coudl put in a card "so glad to be able to arrange your Silver wedding party we hope you enjoy your evening"
Contact the poster See this person's profile Contact mumsnet about this post By twoluvlykids on Wed 19-Nov-08 16:17:04
No.on a slightly hijacking note,dh & I arranged 60th birthday party for my mil & she thanked everyone except me,(and i did most of the arranging!)even thanking my bil who's contribution (apart from half the money) was blowing up 1 balloon....
Contact the poster See this person's profile Contact mumsnet about this post By saltire on Wed 19-Nov-08 16:24:57
2luvlykids - at least your BIL paid his share. SIL has decided she can't afford it becasue "I have bills to pay" er so do we "I have a mortgage" so do we.
She can however manage 3 weekends away in Glasgow, and every Friday and Saturday out in town. But not to pay for her mum and dads (DH's dad and step mum) party
Contact the poster See this person's profile Contact mumsnet about this post By twoluvlykids on Wed 19-Nov-08 16:29:55
thing is, you can't win, because they're in-laws grin

damned if you do, damned if you don't....
Contact the poster See this person's profile Contact mumsnet about this post By Dropdeadfred on Wed 19-Nov-08 16:30:52
Are they aware that a party is taking place and who has paid for it? there's nothing wrong with letting them know.
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By cheshirekitty on Wed 19-Nov-08 19:16:52
Do what flier said. Hijack sils pressie and put your and dh name on the label as well.


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