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Finally stood up for myself this morning and it feels AMAZING!!!!

(23 Posts)
JellyDiamonds Thu 04-Sep-14 09:22:46

Please forgive me for starting this thread, but I just feel on a high and so, so empowered! I'm 32 years of age and this morning, after a lifetime of bad treatment and people pleasing I finally found the courage to stick up for myself and let someone who was trying to belittle me and put me in my place know that I just won't have it. I feel fucking fantastic and I want to shout it from the rooftops!!!

I talked about it briefly on AIBU last night but I'm a school escort and have unfortunately being lumbered with a arrogant right bell end of a taxi driver, who has been rude, offhand and snide with me from day one with no apparent reason. I've taken it for three days, but today after one snide comment too far I just blew and I don't know where it came from. I was polite and firm in my tone, and he attempted to shout at me and got ever so slightly aggressive (yes really) but I remained firm and stoic and eventually he shut up.

He ignored me all the way home, but I think I've shown him that I'm not some little woman who can be pushed around and spoken to like shit because I don't beeline for one second he'd have treated a man like he had me. I don't know if I'll have anymore trouble with him, but if I do I'll be ready and waiting. He's such an arrogant cock that is suspect I probably will, but I know now I can verbally destroy him with ease and confidence!

Wellwellwell3holesintheground Thu 04-Sep-14 09:24:46

Well done. The polite firm tone is key. I still have fond memories of standing up to a school bully...

ssd Thu 04-Sep-14 09:26:15

brilliant! (teach me how to do it!)

Olbas Thu 04-Sep-14 09:27:04

Well done you thanks
But you shouldn't have to put up with it in the first. I take you are employed by different people. What is he like with the children he drives.

Coffeethrowtrampbitch Thu 04-Sep-14 09:28:32

Well done! I'm another one who is envious, you have given me hope of life beyond being a doormat!

DiaDuit Thu 04-Sep-14 09:30:27

Well done! It is brilliant feeling. Keep calm and firm, unemotionial and make your point. My mum could give lessons in this. She's fab. And it's fab to assert yourself ad be heard.

I would also be reporting this asswipe to his employers and to yours.

LastingLight Thu 04-Sep-14 09:30:57

Good for you!

MsAstronaut Thu 04-Sep-14 09:31:24


The thing with bullying types, male or female, is that they often do run out of steam quite quickly when you get assertive. They seek out victims who won't stand up to them. You can endure it for years trying to keep on the right side of someone, then one day you put your foot down and say "Actually no, stop treating me like this" and they just cave.

Don't stop at this one - keep those skills polished!

Coughle Thu 04-Sep-14 09:33:09

Saw your other thread. Well done!

Are you sure you don't want to give us a rundown of the conversation so we can live vicariously through you??I love when people stand up to bulliessmile

JellyDiamonds Thu 04-Sep-14 09:38:30

Yes we have different employers. I'm employed by the council and he by the taxi company who have the contract for the run, I had a different driver last year and he was a lovely man and we got on well, but sadly he left the company over the summer and this twat has replaced him.

He's OK with the kids, to a point, but I've noticed him start to be a bit snide with them at times. Like one little girl has a disability and as her mum helped her to the car this morning a child already in the taxi said, "oh look, her mums is helping her" and he snapped back "of course she's helping her she's disabled! ". There's no needs for it. He also got stroppy with me for having a moan about the council, because he's apparently "worked for them for ten years and has loads of friends there". I shut that one up with a "well my experience of dealing with them is not very positive".

I don't know where it all came from? It's like I just woke up this morning assertive!

Oldraver Thu 04-Sep-14 09:44:25

Well done, but do try to keep negative comments about your employer to yourself with this man. Dont say anything that could be used against you

JellyDiamonds Thu 04-Sep-14 09:44:25

Oh and yes, I will be reporting him. But the transport office is really busy at this time of the morning, so I'll be leaving it till after 10am to do so.

I can't get over how amazing it feels!!!!!

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost Thu 04-Sep-14 09:47:41

Well done, Jelly. You get pushed too far in the end, which is obviously what happened. People can only take so much.
I hate people being nasty for no reason. (What a wanker he sounds)

SugarPlumpFairy3 Thu 04-Sep-14 09:49:46

Well done. I had this with a colleague last year and it felt amazing!

JellyDiamonds Thu 04-Sep-14 10:12:16

He is a wanker, unbelievably arrogant as well. The actual arrogance and "I've got this I've got that" sort of attitude probably wouldn't have bothered me so much, but it was snide comments and belittling that got to me. I think he's just a bully and a control freak and wanted to be the adult in control of the situation, but I know these kids and their families quite well now, and I don't think he liked that I had that power, because I'm just an ickle woman you see....

Of to ring the council and report the fucker now. I wonder if he will be picking me up this evening? Normally he would, but I think he might refuse to work with me again. Should be fun, shouldn't it....

gincamparidryvermouth Thu 04-Sep-14 10:22:15

I must have missed some of your other thread because I honestly didn't think he sounded that bad. Definitely boring and definitely not someone I'd want to be mates with, but I don't think I'd have found him as offensive as you have. Maybe I've just worked with too many arseholes and I'm immune to it now! grin What are you going to say when you ring to report him?

MrsBoldon Thu 04-Sep-14 11:26:11

I agree with Gin, I've read both threads and he sounds like a bit of a knob but can't see that he's a control freak or a bully.

I do wonder why he's got to you so much?.

JellyDiamonds Thu 04-Sep-14 12:13:39

I probably didn't explain it very well in my previous thread. The arrogance and boasting I can deal with even laugh off, but he's been really offhand with me, rude, snidy, and trying to belittle me in front of the kids. This morning an innocent and innocuous comment from me sparked a a bit of rage from him, and I just flipped and gave it straight back.

I've been going through a big of a tough time with family issues anyway,and I suppose I just didn't need it and it just all came out. It was like someone else saying it and not me, it was completely surreal.

ninetynineonehundred Thu 04-Sep-14 12:16:01

You star! Well done and I hope he's more respectful in future.

JellyDiamonds Thu 04-Sep-14 12:34:01

Thanks. It was a bizarre situation, because the comment I made was so innocuous and not designed to cause offence or upset, I just disagreed with him on something really minor and he exploded and started shouting, in front of the kids "what the hell is the matter with you?" and when I told him I just though he was wrong and disagreed with him he just started sighing and huffing and puffing and sighing deeply, rocking back and forth, then he started on the kids, saying one of them was going to get flung through the windscreen, and I pointed out that was unlikely due to her having her seatbelt on, cue more deep breathing and general huffing.

He reminded me a bit of Phill Mitchell from Eastenders. Red, bald and simmering with rage. Arsehole, clearly in the wrong job.

MammaTJ Thu 04-Sep-14 13:16:22

He is taking up far too much of your head space if you feel the need to start two threads about him.

Sort that out, try and focus on the children you are meant to be looking after, stop thinking of yourself as being in competition with him and needing to put him down.

At most deal with him with wry amusement, if you can manage it.

JellyDiamonds Thu 04-Sep-14 14:39:36

An update. I've reported him to the council, who told me I've done the right thing and have sent a warning to his boss. He's due to pick me up again in about 20 minutes and this should be interesting.... I agree with the above poster that maybe I've got a bit too emotionally involved, but I think I've taken this behaviour from so many other people over the years that's it's all just come to a head.

I'm perfectly prepared to let bygones and all that if he's civil to me from now on. Time will tell.

How did you go on with the driver, OP?

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