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Threatened and nearly run over by a tractor for letting my kids take risks... Am I really a bad parent??

(264 Posts)
ChuckleBeans Fri 29-Aug-14 17:36:15

Just arrived home after what started off as a lovely afternoon out with my DH, DS (8) and his friend (10) and our DD (4) at a local nature park/ farm. In one of the fields there is a stone pyramid with two 'ridges' running around the outside about 5-6 ft off the ground. The boys immediately climbed up onto the top ridge, we stood below advising them on where to position their feet etc to make sure they were safe. They posed for a photo and climbed down. There was a man in a small tractor nearby takng photo's on his phone. Just as we were walking away he drove over to us asking "are you idiots responsible for these young children?" Taken aback by his attitude (and the fact that he'd driven so close) I told him yes we are. He told us that he had taken our photo's and would be reporting us to the police and social services for being irresponsible by letting our children climb whilst in our care and that we shouldn't be allowed to have children! By this point my daughter became upset. I told him that we allow our children to take risks such as climbing trees etc because its better to do this with us and learn to do things safely. There were no signs saying don't climb etc. He then tried to drive away whilst still threatening us. I went to grab his phone and he nearly ran me over so I am embarrassed to say I slapped him whilst hangi g on to the side of his tractor ! By this point DD is screaming. He then stopped and said he hadn't actually taken photo's I made him show me his phone photo gallery to be sure. He drove away tutting. My DH and I were so angry and shocked and DD was so upset and kept asking why the man was cross with us. Are we really wrong in letting our children take such risks?? I've never questioned my parenting until now!!

LairyPoppins Fri 29-Aug-14 17:38:50

You were wrong and ridiculous to climb on the tractor and to slap him.

From your post and actions your parenting on this occasion sounds pretty poor.

thornrose Fri 29-Aug-14 17:39:17

You're wrong for acting recklessly by snatching a phone, slapping someone and hanging off a bloody tractor! That would make your dd cry more than the silly man's actions I imagine!

BeachyKeen Fri 29-Aug-14 17:40:09

Fear not, Tractor Man is an ass hat.
That is pretty much text book the right way to introduce risk, in a safe, supervised setting.

AlpacaMyBags Fri 29-Aug-14 17:40:39

Was the pyramid actually intended for children to play on? If not, YABU.

Hakluyt Fri 29-Aug-14 17:40:47


thelmachicken Fri 29-Aug-14 17:41:48

You slapped him?! shock Goodness me!

Onesleeptillwembley Fri 29-Aug-14 17:42:20

You tried to grab his phone and hit him? I notice you didn't put that in your title. He may (or may not) have over reacted slightly but you went way ott. If my child had been with you they certainly wouldn't be again, and frankly if I'd seen that I'd have called the Police - on you. Disgraceful.

Captainbarnacles1101 Fri 29-Aug-14 17:42:27

I'd have been pissed that he took photos of my children. But you were totally unreasonable in how u handled it. I suspect ur behaviour upset your dd.

HoldenMcGroin Fri 29-Aug-14 17:42:36


You are kidding right, you didn't really slap a person and try to grab their possession?!

DaisyFlowerChain Fri 29-Aug-14 17:43:09

I'd be furious if you had let me child climb onto something that high and narrow whilst you were supposed to have been looking after him. Upto you what risks you let your own children take.

What a lesson to teach your children though re slapping a stranger. I hope he goes to the police for assault.

thelmachicken Fri 29-Aug-14 17:43:23

How did you know that the pyramid structure was safe to play on and who did it belong to?
Were you on this man's land?

Bartlebee Fri 29-Aug-14 17:43:37

Regardless of what he saw as reckless parenting - your subsequent behaviour sounds atrocious and how awful that the children witnessed it.

Zucker Fri 29-Aug-14 17:44:05

You attacked this man and you're asking us if your parenting is okay. Christ almighty.

softlysoftly Fri 29-Aug-14 17:44:28

YANBU to let them climb but shock YABVVVU in your reaction to him! You can't stop people taking your picture and to try and grab his phone then physically assault him!

I hope he reports you tbh.

Shockers Fri 29-Aug-14 17:44:43

I was fully with you until the part where you tried to snatch his phone, slapped him and hung onto his tractor. That's where you started to sound bonkers.

BackforGood Fri 29-Aug-14 17:45:24

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

SignoraStronza Fri 29-Aug-14 17:45:38

Was the land that this monument (for want of a better word) was on actually part of the nature park/visitor attraction? Was it some kind of protected site a la stone henge? Was there any possibility that you had trespassed onto his land?

Otherwise, he sounds rather bonkers. Nothing wrong with a bit of risk taking/climbing but I wouldn't have gone hanging off the side of a tractor just for the sake of a few photos. Unless your family was climbing in the nude or something!

ancientbuchanan Fri 29-Aug-14 17:45:45

You were violent and that us actionable. And then took stupid risks with his property.

As it was a farm open to the public, it was probably ok to allow the
children to climb the pyramid, in reality, but actually you should be warning them at this age to look before they leap. You cannot trust old stone buildings.

But it's your reactions that wete irresponsible and worse.

Wannabeaninja3 Fri 29-Aug-14 17:47:11

You actually hit him?!?! In front of your children! And one of their friends!

If my child came home from a day out with friends family and told me the mother jumped up onto a tractor and got someone I would not impressed to say the least!

You sound deranged

Allthequeenshorses Fri 29-Aug-14 17:47:52

Have to agree with others. You say he tried to drive away whilst threatening you, so you climbed onto the side of a moving vehicle, tried to take his phone off him and them slapped him. Absolutely incredibly stupid and dangerous behaviour on your part. Your violent behaviour aside, you could have slipped and been crushed or caused any number of accidents to occur.

Unbelievable, I hope he presses charges.

furcoatbigknickers Fri 29-Aug-14 17:47:58

Ymaynhbu to let dcs climb, i wasnt there so can't say.

Yabu to assault the tractor man and hysterical.

Finola1step Fri 29-Aug-14 17:47:59

The climbing - YANBU
The man's reaction to the climbing - HWBU
Your reaction (jumping on tractor, trying to grab phone and hitting the man) - YABVVVU.

He would be within his rights to report you for assault. Your reaction in front of your own dc and a child who is not yours, was terrible.

What will you say to the other child's parent about what happened while their child was in your care?

MrsBungle Fri 29-Aug-14 17:48:57

I thought ywnu until the part you hung off the tractor, tried to steal his phone and assaulted him!

thornrose Fri 29-Aug-14 17:48:57

Hang on, just noticed he drove away tutting that's a great under reaction from someone who's just been assaulted? hmm

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