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Oh come on, are you kidding now, reality?

(132 Posts)
thesebootsweremadeforretail Thu 28-Aug-14 20:41:38

Please help me feel better about this...

I applied for a job working at Boots. I don't want to sound like an arrogant dick, but I am pretty over-qualified for this, having worked in retail and customer service for a Really Long Time but have been a SAHM for a couple of years, I urgently need to be earning again and at this point, I would just be so grateful for a job which would allow me to work around school hours.

Last night I spent 45 minutes filling out Boots online screening thing.

A multiple choice questionnaire with questions like

1. A customer is rude. Do you
a) Deal with them with ease because you're a professional
b) Punch them in the tits and go for a fag in the stockroom
c) Not even notice because you're still pissed from the night before

etc etc, which I gave a lot of thought to, even though some of them seemed like trick questions and I tried really hard to give the answer I thought they were looking for, even if not necessarily the one I wanted to choose (DH thought I was overthinking it).

And then a personality test which asked you to choose which out of two unrelated statements was most like you at work, like so:

1) I like humans
2) I can press buttons


1) I always work hard
2) Look, a butterfly!

Which is pretty hard, because, they are not related. About 50% of the questions seemed to be about being REALLY FUCKING DECISIVE and JUMPING TO CONCLUSIONS STRAIGHTAWAY and then the other half were softer, gentler type ones like I HAVEN'T KILLED ANYONE YET, TODAY, and I LIKE HELPING so I tried to get a blend of both in my answers because (drawing on my extensive experience of retail)there are a lot of factors to being good at customer service. Again, DH said I was overthinking and to just tick I AM DECISIVE over and over again.

Anyway, if you've made it to the end of this EPIC WAIL, (thank-you) so, I got an email today saying I wasn't suitable and that I could apply again after a year by which time I might have "adequate experience".....

What? confused sad

thesebootsweremadeforretail Thu 28-Aug-14 20:43:39

PS I know I sound like a sarky bitch here, but not really, I am super nice. Honest. Really really.

Bartlebee Thu 28-Aug-14 20:44:33

Weren't suitable? That's madness gone crazy.

My ds did one for Waitrose that was full of similar nonsense.

He's heard nothing at all.

Smilesandpiles Thu 28-Aug-14 20:45:44

You get questions like that when trying to apply for a job in customer service with Sky.

Apparentely, staying on the phone and helping a customer through their problem with the sky box, step by step is the wrong answer confused

EatShitDerek Thu 28-Aug-14 20:46:24

Send me the job, the application Sounds like a good read grin

thesebootsweremadeforretail Thu 28-Aug-14 20:46:53

Thanks Bart. Sorry for your DH too then. My DH said that it is probably done purely by a computer and has not even been seen by a human.

I don't know, I'm just really questioning myself now, I feel really thick!

picnicbasketcase Thu 28-Aug-14 20:48:49

So you tried to think it through, consider your answers carefully and were told you weren't suitable. hmm

Next time, try making yourself sound like a total maniac who is likely to abandon their till and run around the shop licking the customers elbows, they'll tell you you're management material.

thesebootsweremadeforretail Thu 28-Aug-14 20:49:24

Derek grin you know what I mean!

1) Stealing is wrong
2) I can fly

etc etc

crazynanna Thu 28-Aug-14 20:50:31

I tried one if these a couple of years ago for Primark.
Was turned down. For Primark.

And here's the cherry on the cake
My 16 yo fresh -from - GCSEs dd just got a weekend job in....primark
<sits in corner>

CuppaSarah Thu 28-Aug-14 20:50:42

I had a big personality questionnaire when applying for British gas. At the interview they even brought up my answers to use against me!

Hmmm Cuppa you REALLY hate change don't you?
I see you're very optimistic, do you find this causes you to downplay issues?

It was bloody awful.

thesebootsweremadeforretail Thu 28-Aug-14 20:52:42

Picnic but that's what I mean, what do they WANT? How could I have missed the mark so widely as to not even warrant an interview when I am a generally intelligent, polite, experienced candidate? MAYBE I'M DELUDED AND I'M TOO STUPID FOR BOOTS!

They haven't even seen my cv. Interesting that other companies are also doing this, like Sky, then who are famous for their awesome customer service. hmm

annabanana19 Thu 28-Aug-14 20:53:13

I applied a few yrs ago and thought their whole system was fucked up.

Questions were shit and totally irrelevant.

shellsandshinythings Thu 28-Aug-14 20:53:38

You fail if you overthink these.

It is a computer that marks them. It looks at data like how long you took, as well as the answers that you chose. It creates the profile of someone who is already working there and doing well - a sort of ideal candidate, rather than a perfect person.

It's unfair, and I think it's mainly used to cut down applications but there are just so many, but it sucks all the same.

thesebootsweremadeforretail Thu 28-Aug-14 20:54:12

haha Cuppa I probably had a lucky escape then, that sounds hideous.

thesebootsweremadeforretail Thu 28-Aug-14 20:56:17

Yeah, I definitely overthought it (thinking, urgh) like DH said. I also took ages doing it, because I reading the questions carefully and taking it seriously because I really need a job!

Am tempted to have another go with a fake name and fill it in in a hurry like a total div.

Lottiedoubtie Thu 28-Aug-14 20:56:44

I got the rage at a tesco one of these years ago. The questions were ridiculous, eg,

Which of these describes you (tick a minimum of one answer)
-I am often late.
-I can't be trusted with money.
-I find it difficult to manage my work/life balance
-I sometimes forget to wash my uniform and shower for work.

Seriously, loads of the questions had no good answer it was like they were shooting for idiots.

I wasn't suitable because I hadn't answered all the questions fully... Eg... I refused to identify myself as a bad employee on an application form.

thesebootsweremadeforretail Thu 28-Aug-14 20:58:17

Lottie yes, exactly, it is a kind of damned-if-you-do, damned-if-you-don't kind of deal.

Anna did you get an interview though?

Ledkr Thu 28-Aug-14 20:58:29

One if dh a most hilarious stories is of when he went for a temp job in m and s and was asked to select an outfit for a middle aged lady to wear to a wedding. He was a 19 yr old art student grin

thesebootsweremadeforretail Thu 28-Aug-14 21:01:07

What did he do? Did he get it?

Itsjustmeagain Thu 28-Aug-14 21:07:47

I had an interview at boots a few years ago where they asked me totally inappropriate questions such as "what does your husband think of you applying here" and "so do you think you will have more children" I have never felt so small in all my life. Obviously I didnt get it probably because I replied that my husband had nothing to do with it and refused to answer the question about children. I avoid even shopping in boots to this day!

riverboat1 Thu 28-Aug-14 21:10:01

Oh god, I really feel for people who have gone/are going through this. But the way you are telling it is making me chortle heartily. I love the randomness of the choices! 'Look, a butterfly!' 'I can't be trusted with money'. Heeeee.

It sucks being turned down outright for a job you know you could be good at. I hope you get something soon OP.

Ledkr Thu 28-Aug-14 21:11:13

He says he kind if walked around the shop picking up random women's clothes while two people watched him. He then had to approach customers and ask then what they thought after first Intriducing himself.
He didn't get the job.
He didn't care.
When he tells the story date a few beers it's hilarious. Really deadpan.

Ledkr Thu 28-Aug-14 21:11:40

He had the fashion sense of a walrus

HolgerDanske Thu 28-Aug-14 21:13:36

They are looking for drones. That's all. Anyone who thinks too much really isn't the ideal candidate.

thesebootsweremadeforretail Thu 28-Aug-14 21:16:30

Itsjustme I think it's illegal for companies to ask if you are planning to have more children, right? Though several female friends have reported being asked this. Hi feminism, you missed a bit!

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