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What do you do with anger?

(58 Posts)
Coumarin Wed 27-Aug-14 19:16:30

Or when you're feeling cross?

Nothing dramatic but you know when something has annoyed you and it puts you in a bad mood?

How do you shake the feeling off?

GimmeMySquash Wed 27-Aug-14 19:18:49

oh I started counselling to help me with this the past month.

I was given a little bit of homework to do.

I think she was trying to identify what makes me angry and how I cope with it.

Basically so far we worked out injustices really annoy me and the more I talk about things that upset me, the more I spiral into anger.

So for me the answer is to just stop talking about it and distract myself.

LadyLuck10 Wed 27-Aug-14 19:20:20

I usually just tell my DH and he helps me rationalize and get over it.

ThatBloodyWoman Wed 27-Aug-14 19:23:18

I clean.

TheFarSide Wed 27-Aug-14 19:23:26

When I feel like a rant, I have one or two people who have the ability to just listen (rather than wind me up even more by not getting why I'm angry).

I only need to rant for a minute or two then I'm fine.

Coumarin Wed 27-Aug-14 19:25:31

*I tend to just stew over whatever it is and end up blaming myself for not feeling positive about whatever it is. So I start off feeling justified at being pissed off and end up being angry at myself for being annoyed. hmm

Telling DH does help but then I don't want to get on his nerves if it's something he might not 'get'.

Maybe I should flick a pillow or something.

GimmeMySquash Wed 27-Aug-14 19:25:44

I have struggled with wind up merchants nasty bastard weirdo's , who see they are winding someone up and keep going. These people give themselves away with micro grins when they see someone get upset. If I see someone like that in action I give them a wide berth.

marne2 Wed 27-Aug-14 19:26:24

I go for a drive on my own. Stops me taking it out on anyone and it clears my head.

Coumarin Wed 27-Aug-14 19:26:41

I could do with people I'd feel comfortable having a rant to.

Cleaning is a good one. Added bonus that you're left with a shiny home afterwards.

ShadyMyLady Wed 27-Aug-14 19:28:44

I don't know but I need to do something because I get far too angry to quickly and end up shouting at the dc.

If I can feel them pushing my buttons I stop and take a few deep breaths while counting to ten. Then I start again.

But I've got bit of a hot head and need to do something about it so am interested in some of the techniques everyone else uses.

Coumarin Wed 27-Aug-14 20:23:21

I think I do immediate anger better now. I do the deep breaths, brush it off thing.

It's the brewing feeling of annoyance that I don't know what to do with iykwim. It grows into anger that feels very pointless and unproductive as by then I'm usually away from whatever it was.

I want to cry with it atm. Maybe I'm just tired.

BeachyKeen Wed 27-Aug-14 20:31:39

I go with fix it or fuck it.
If I can fix the problem, or even works towards a solution, then I feel like I am doing something about it.
If it is something out of my control, I say fuck it all anyways, and try to distract myself. I blow a lot of bubbles. I find it really calming. I make my own bubble blow now to save money. And I am known in the area as the bubble lady now.

EatShitDerek Wed 27-Aug-14 20:37:09

I smoke/drink. Usually smoke.

Or I break or throw things.

Andro Wed 27-Aug-14 20:40:01

I go and work out, shut my office door and put some calming background music on or excuse myself (depending on whether I'm at work, home or a social occasion - if I haven't calmed down by the time I'm at home I talk it out with DH.

charlietangoteakettlebarbeque Wed 27-Aug-14 20:40:26

Marking place

Grrr angry

wink

Ludoole Wed 27-Aug-14 20:41:21

I internalise it, which is so not helpful.
Im a slow burner and things just build up until I explode.

StrawberryCheese Wed 27-Aug-14 20:47:04

My DH calms me and helps me to find out why I'm angry (most of the time I can't even remember or I'm just hungry) He is the complete opposite to me in this situation. Prior to being with him I would just bottle it up, after many years of bottling some major issues up I am sure I would benefit from counselling.

everynameisbloodytaken Wed 27-Aug-14 20:47:37

I walk my dog... Stomping across the fields always makes me feel better. its a real stress reliever for me and helps me to let go of things and move on.

naturalbaby Wed 27-Aug-14 20:51:55

Housework.
I mentally step back and ask myself what's going on. I imagine I'm watching the situation happening to someone else and ask myself what I would do or suggest to help.
I ask myself - does it really matter? What's going to happen if ....

meglet Wed 27-Aug-14 21:02:07

Slam something as quietly as I can. Internalise it.

Ideally I'd have a run but I can't get away from the dc's easily.

Coumarin Wed 27-Aug-14 21:04:44

Great ideas here.

I think I internalise sometimes too. That's what's happening today/tonight and it's not great.

Personally I think a lot if it comes from being a people pleaser and then getting frustrated which leads to anger. That and lack of assertiveness.

Jeez, I think I should try therapy or something too.

I know someone who uses to scream at trains. They were in a very rural area and trains would roar past where they walked so they'd shout/scream as the trained past by and no one would hear it.

I need a train. grin

Coumarin Wed 27-Aug-14 21:05:46

*used, passed, train etc

Coumarin Wed 27-Aug-14 21:08:04

I've had a rant with DH as the helpful listener, spoken to one person involved in the 'pissed me off' situation and thumped a pillow because someone once said boxing helped.

Feeling slightly better. Interesting to see how everyone does different things though. I find anger/cross-ness a confusing emotion.

mamachelle Wed 27-Aug-14 21:14:18

I clean when i'm angry. After im done my mind is clearer and i usually have a different perspective or a plan of action.

GimmeMySquash Wed 27-Aug-14 21:18:03

This counsellor I am seeing for anger gave me a worksheet.

Trigger event, theme, unhealthy behaviour ie alcohol,cigs,overeating, healthy behaviour, exercise, assertive, communication, extending a kindness to someone

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