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What would you think if.............possi bly sensitive

(74 Posts)
Outofcontrolfreak Sat 23-Aug-14 22:35:00

........your partner watched the horrific murder of James Foley on Youtube? thoughts please.

Trills Sat 23-Aug-14 22:37:49

I'd think that he or she was curious.

I don't wish to see it myself but I don't think it's a problem if others want to see the event in order to better understand what's going on.

(I probably am guilty of not wanting to think about what's going on very much)

McBee27 Sat 23-Aug-14 22:38:50

Did he go looking for it, or was he 'led' to it by someone else?

Missunreasonable Sat 23-Aug-14 22:38:56

I would be disgusted both by the voyuerism aspect and by him contributing to giving terrorists the 'hits' that they want.

Fairylea Sat 23-Aug-14 22:40:53

What missunreasonable said.

Terrierterror Sat 23-Aug-14 22:45:41

I'd reassess my relationship. I wouldn't want to be involved with someone who sat and watched a murder.

Nicknacky Sat 23-Aug-14 22:47:35

I would think they were curious. I certainly wouldn't end a marriage and two children because of that. That's just ridiculous mumsnet talk.

ImATotJeSuisUneTot Sat 23-Aug-14 22:48:08

I'd reassess my relationship. I wouldn't want to be involved with someone who sat and watched a murder.

^This, absolutely.

ImATotJeSuisUneTot Sat 23-Aug-14 22:49:15


Its a beheading. No ambiguity there.

Terrierterror Sat 23-Aug-14 22:49:48

Curious about what exactly? Everyone knows what is on the tape.

Outofcontrolfreak Sat 23-Aug-14 22:50:33

I agree with missunreasonable. It's abhorrent. I understand being 'curious' about very topical and emotive issues, but to click on a link showing this footage (I assume) is one step too far

Nicknacky Sat 23-Aug-14 22:51:50

Maybe they do know what it shows but I certainly wouldn't end a marriage over it. I haven't even asked my husband and he hasn't asked me.

TeaAndALemonTart Sat 23-Aug-14 22:52:43

I agree with Terrier.

Absolutely no reason to want to watch what that poor young man went through at all.


Roonerspism Sat 23-Aug-14 22:52:59

DH and I discussed this today.

I have absolutely no desire to see this. It revolts me. I don't agree with it not being removed immediately.

DH said he was curious. This amazed me. I honestly think it is a male thing. Their brains are (sadly) wired differently.

Outofcontrolfreak Sat 23-Aug-14 22:53:44

What good could come out of watching another human being suffer so greatly? What could be somebody's reason for needing to watch that?

LonnyVonnyWilsonFrickett Sat 23-Aug-14 22:54:01

I'd be having serious words but I'd also understand the compulsion to look. Rubber necking is human nature - after all, that's why the perpetrators of this murder filmed it and put it on the web. We want to look.

I wouldn't be throwing DH a party and would expect him to understand that this wasn't something I'd just shrug off. But I probably wouldn't LTB unless it was part of an overall pattern.

Trills Sat 23-Aug-14 22:54:07

Curious about what it looks like when someone beheaded.

Curious about what was said or how it was done.

Curious about how it would feel to see it and know it was real.

I haven't personally seen enough beheadings in my life to be so blasé and confident about "it's just a beheading, nothing to be curious about".

Outofcontrolfreak Sat 23-Aug-14 22:55:49

That actually helps a bit roonersprism. Thought it was just my dh who was heartless and odd.

LonnyVonnyWilsonFrickett Sat 23-Aug-14 22:56:10

Meant to add: and a lot of how I reacted would be based on his reaction. If he was upset about both the content and his actions I would be more able to move past it.

Outofcontrolfreak Sat 23-Aug-14 22:58:54

I admit to being curious, but empathy for the victim and his family would surely stop anybody from watching that video?

Outofcontrolfreak Sat 23-Aug-14 23:00:33

He said "obviously it wasn't pleasant and it's wrong, but it didn't upset me".

ShatnersBassoon Sat 23-Aug-14 23:01:01

I'd think it was morbid curiosity. It's beyond most people's imaginations, luckily.

Sometimes the compulsion to witness something horrific overrides your instinct to protect yourself from feeling horrified. Rubberneckers at motorway pile-ups are an everyday example of that.

Roonerspism Sat 23-Aug-14 23:01:17

outofcontrol yes - bizarre thoughts in all out DH's heads. My DH is, honestly, a lovely, sane man.

I sat up bolt upright when he said it to me - a bit like your reaction. And I said "can't you imagine it - it would be horrendous" and he shrugged and again said he would want to know.

I'm as baffled as you.

What a brave man though and I found his family's speech utterly inspiring. He has not died in vain.

Trills Sat 23-Aug-14 23:02:02

I don't think it's "a male thing", I think it's a "different people see things differently" thing.

The victim is not going to be helped or hurt by anything that you do.

The family are very unlikely to be hurt by you watching a video on the internet (you don't have to do it in a way that lets the murderers know that they have got "views").

Nicknacky Sat 23-Aug-14 23:02:03

Does it bother you it didn't upset him? To be honest, I'm not easily upset by videos on the internet. I have seen horrific scenes in real life so on a screen doesn't tend to upset me. Doesn't make me a bad person!

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