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Mumsnet jury- should I take ds out of school for this? (I know how you all love these!)

(177 Posts)
Hakluyt Wed 20-Aug-14 10:58:38

Dd is starting university on September 8th. I am going to drive her there on the 7th, stay over and come back on the 8th. It is too far to do the trip in one day.

This morning, she and her 13 year old brother came and asked whether he could come too- they are very close and will miss each other a lot (well, he will miss her- I am hoping she will be having too much fun to miss anyone). Dp is away for work, and I had arranged for ds to stay with a friend on the Sunday night and go to school from there on the Monday. He would then go home as usual and I would be home in the early evening (he's used to being at home alone after school). He says he doesn't want to stay at a friends because he is going to be sad and is worried he will cry. She says she wants him to see where she'll be staying and would like his company on the drive.

I was quite looking forward to the drive home on my own- I love driving alone. But it does seem very important to them. (They are not piss takers).

He goes back to school on the previous Thursday. What do you think?

Glastogirl Wed 20-Aug-14 10:59:29

Yes I would take him out of school. Don't tell the school why though, just ring in sick on the day!

Chewbecca Wed 20-Aug-14 11:00:55

Can you not all go on Sat and return on Sun so no school missed?

TheFairyCaravan Wed 20-Aug-14 11:02:20

We let DS2 come with us when we took DS1 to Phase 1 training for the Army. He's having the day off for the pass out parade too. We said he had a hospital appointment and will say it again.

DefiniteMaybe Wed 20-Aug-14 11:03:11

Can you not go on the Saturday?

Hakluyt Wed 20-Aug-14 11:03:57

Ah. Forgot the other complication in my essay. Dd is in a play that finishes on Saturday night. So we can't go on Saturday.

Chewbecca Wed 20-Aug-14 11:10:59

Hmm, now the length of the drive becomes critical.

Hakluyt Wed 20-Aug-14 11:27:12

It's about 8 hours. I'm pretty hardcore- but it has to be two days!

TheReluctantCountess Wed 20-Aug-14 11:29:46

No, I don't think he should miss a day of school for that reason, especially so early in the term.

SublimeCorpse Wed 20-Aug-14 11:32:35

I'd keep DS home on the Thursday and Friday and send him in on the Tuesday, assuming he doesn't generally have time off, and say he wasn't well.

They sound very close and dd going off to uni will be a big change for both of them.

SublimeCorpse Wed 20-Aug-14 11:34:06

Well aware most others will disagree with me - but I'm a real softie blush

Littleturkish Wed 20-Aug-14 11:37:06

No way- not a good reason. At 13 he's in what, yr 9? Starting his GCSE work? Forget it, just say no.

Hakluyt Wed 20-Aug-14 11:37:12

I wouldn't do the "not well" thing. If I do it, I'll say why and take the consequences, if any.

Chewbecca Wed 20-Aug-14 11:37:38

I am very rarely in favour of letting them off school but I think you may have given a reason that I find acceptable!

I would be honest with school though, perhaps even ask them outright. I wouldn't want him to keep it secret.

SweepTheHalls Wed 20-Aug-14 11:38:46

I went to take by sister to Uni every year, important family day for us grin

Go for it, I'd do it.

At our end, ds2 can't wait for ds1 to go, he's ear marked his bedroom already!

PuppyMonkey Wed 20-Aug-14 11:45:47

I'd phone in sick too. He'll probably be miserable and not concentrating at school if you send him in anyway.

ladygracie Wed 20-Aug-14 11:49:55

Sublime - why the thurs & fri too? That just seems excessive!
I would definitely take him with you esp if your dd wants him to come too. How sweet. It's one day & he will have to make up anything he misses.

Lonecatwithkitten Wed 20-Aug-14 12:00:40

Well I wouldn't, but then I would send her with minimum stuff on the train and then take the bulk of the stuff the next weekend when he can go too and see her settled in.

cricketballs Wed 20-Aug-14 12:01:27

I really don't think this is a good enough reason for missing school (even for one day). It's lovely that they are so close, but technology now allows for instant communication/photos. Another issue is will you have room in your car for an extra passenger? Will your DD really want her younger brother tagging along?

Kimaroo Wed 20-Aug-14 12:04:25

That's what we do lone. Go up either the weekend before if they have accomodation sorted or the weekend after if they need to be there on a certain date during the week. They can live with just a rucksack and a phone for a few days!

Softlysoftlycatchymonkey Wed 20-Aug-14 12:04:53

I'd phone in sick.

cricketballs Wed 20-Aug-14 12:07:45

Sorry, missed the part where she asked as well. I still think its not a good idea; time to cut back on the ties

EstellaSpitsEmOut Wed 20-Aug-14 12:08:14

I think it's great they are so close and would definitely let him go and say it's for a hospital appt or something similar.

I would ask teachers for the days work and tell DS that he has to catch up in the evenings/following weekend, so that he knows consequences of missing school time and doesn't miss out. As long as he is aware it's a one off, no harm done.

PPaka Wed 20-Aug-14 12:11:44

When my sister and I went to Uni, my brother thought we'd abandoned him, this didn't come out til years later sad
I'd take him definitely

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