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Had to just post this joke

(203 Posts)
crazynanna Tue 19-Aug-14 18:59:02

I just heard on the ITV news:

I was in the car driving with my friend, and a panda bear zoomed past us and took off the wing mirror, so I shouted "YOU CLIPPED US!!!"

To which the panda replied "No thanks, have you got any bamboo?"

grin

Sorry but I did LOL

That's good. Though it took me a while....!

Hahaha!! grin

crazynanna Tue 19-Aug-14 19:01:56

I know, you definitely have to say it out loud

BOFster Tue 19-Aug-14 19:02:24

Haha! Tim Vine won something for a one-liner at Edinburgh: "I've just sold my Hoover. Well, it was just collecting dust."

ThatBloodyWoman Tue 19-Aug-14 19:03:10

Love it grin

crazynanna Tue 19-Aug-14 19:03:45

grin
Yes Bof 'twas Tim's joke

BOFster Tue 19-Aug-14 19:19:20

He's brilliant as those quick corny puns, isn't he?

crazynanna Tue 19-Aug-14 19:22:35

I do like him

DanFmDorking Tue 19-Aug-14 20:06:48

Pregnant at 71

A 71 year old woman went to the doctor where she was seen by one of the younger doctors.
After four minutes in the examination room, she burst out screaming as she ran down the hall.

An older doctor stopped her and asked what the problem was and she told him her story.
After listening, he told her sit down and relax.

The older doctor then marched down the hallway to where the young doctor was writing on his clipboard.

"What the heck's the matter with you?!" he demanded. "Mrs Terry is 71 years old, has four grown children and seven grandchildren, and you told her she was pregnant?"

The younger doctor continued writing and without looking up said,
"Does she still have hiccups?"

BOFster Tue 19-Aug-14 21:35:32

grin

MrsWolowitz Tue 19-Aug-14 21:44:11

"I don't like light bulbs. Because they look like the ghosts of dead pears." – Paul F Taylor

"I’ve got very sensitive teeth. They’ll probably be upset I’ve told you." – Gordon Southern

"My name is Fin, which means it’s very hard for me to end emails without sounding pretentious." – Fin Taylor

I read these recently and these gave me silly amounts of laughter.

thisyearwillbefab Tue 19-Aug-14 22:25:27

I don't get the panda joke

wingcommandergallic Tue 19-Aug-14 22:26:51

I had to read it twice.

RandomDiva Tue 19-Aug-14 22:31:10

Oldie but a goodie.

Rabbit walks into a bar. "i'll have a ham toastie and a cheese toastie, and a ham and cheese toastie please"

Barman says, "hungry then?"

Rabbit answers, "no, just mixing me toasties"

Erm, you have to say it out loud too I think.

<gets coat>

forago Tue 19-Aug-14 22:33:45

eucalyptus.

Panda, eucalyptus?

crazynanna Tue 19-Aug-14 22:35:15

If you say "you clipped us" out loud, it sounds like "eucalyptus" as in the plant <kills joke>

IsChippyMintonExDirectory Tue 19-Aug-14 22:36:36

I don't get the pregnant woman joke

BOFster Tue 19-Aug-14 22:38:23

Hiccups cured by shock, Chippy...

IsChippyMintonExDirectory Tue 19-Aug-14 22:39:42

Aaaaaaah [readjusts dunce hat]

HumblePieMonster Tue 19-Aug-14 22:41:31

loved the jokes. grin

Gileswithachainsaw Tue 19-Aug-14 22:42:12

I get all but the FIN joke

grin

Rabbit one is funny

Cocolepew Tue 19-Aug-14 22:43:13

Dead pears grin

IsChippyMintonExDirectory Tue 19-Aug-14 22:43:48

Giles fin is French for "the end" and is usually shown at the end of poncey artsy films/shows

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