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How old would your DC need to before you'd let them..

(29 Posts)

1. Cross a railway crossing by themselves on the way to a park or friends house etc.

2. Cook a dimple dinner (beans in toast etc)

3. Make tea/coffee

Just interested in the thoughts, my older DC are 9 (10 next month) and 7 (8 in 2 months) I'm unsure in what they should be allowed to do independently.

306235388 Mon 18-Aug-14 09:33:23

1. 13
2. 7
3. 10

DrFunkesFamilyBandSolution Mon 18-Aug-14 09:34:16

All depend on how mature they were, if one of mine was a head in clouds type it'll be longer for no.1 than if they were more street wise.

I'd expect them to be aware of how to make their own meal from about 6/7?
Ds1 is 2 and 'helps' with food prep by passing/washing things & setting the table/clearing away.

DrFunkesFamilyBandSolution Mon 18-Aug-14 09:36:13

^ so, my post should say, I've not got a clue as mine are younger!
Would expect them to wak across a rail crossing alone by secondary school age (when id expect they'd be taking themselves to school).

NotCitrus Mon 18-Aug-14 09:42:38

11? Assuming a split barrier and all - if a rural open track, probably never!
Then say 7-8 for the others if I was around - I remember learning how to make coffee to my dad's satisfaction for my Brownie Hostess badge age 7, making sure the kettle was empty, then filling a mug and emptying it into the kettle.

My 5 and 6yos are totally uninterested in doing anything for themselves though will when forced - they'd rather go hungry than make their own toast. Whereas dd age 2 wants to do everything herself. They're all quite good with electric drills under supervision...

NotCitrus Mon 18-Aug-14 09:44:47

11? Assuming a split barrier and all - if a rural open track, probably never!
Then say 7-8 for the others if I was around - I remember learning how to make coffee to my dad's satisfaction for my Brownie Hostess badge age 7, making sure the kettle was empty, then filling a mug and emptying it into the kettle.

My 5 and 6yos are totally uninterested in doing anything for themselves though will when forced - they'd rather go hungry than make their own toast. Whereas dd age 2 wants to do everything herself. They're all quite good with electric drills under supervision...

lettertoherms Mon 18-Aug-14 09:47:04

I think it simply depends on your DC.

With 2 and 3, I wouldn't think of it so much as allowing them to do it, just being aware of what they're capable of. I particularly remember making my parents coffee for them when I was maybe 5? First with one of them helping, then letting me get on with it once I knew how to use it. A simple drip coffeemaker, so I just knew how many scoops to put in and where to fill the water to, and how to turn the button on. No danger of burns or anything.

Cooking, it certainly depends on your child's experience and sense in the kitchen - if they cook with you a lot, are able to make things with you, are interested in cooking for themselves, let them to it. Keep an eye to be sure with a 7/8 year old, but I think you can let them get on with it so far as the cooking.

The railway is a difficult one for me! That's the one I would have a strict rule about, but does still depend on your DC. At least age 10, but I don't know if I would honestly be comfortable with that - probably more like 12/13.

Preciousbane Mon 18-Aug-14 09:52:10

Cooking and tea making was at about 9.

I have no idea about the track, I wouldn't want to cross one myself so over 45?

I blame that petrifying public information film on at the moment about crossing train lines where they are playing eye spy.

Nancy66 Mon 18-Aug-14 09:57:07

1) 12
2) 8
3) 8

aubreye Mon 18-Aug-14 09:57:33

DS is 9 (10 next month) as well. Tbh we don't have any trains near us so the first question doesn't apply to us. I've let him make tea and coffee before (he's actually pretty good and makes them for me too!) I was a but wary of him using the coffee grinder but I showed him how, I used to supervise him and now I'm positive he'll be fine. He also makes salad sometimes (once or twice he's cooked pasta) a few months ago. Again, I supervised him bit now I trust him if I'm in the house.

DD on the other hand is 7 (8 in 2015). Again, no railway tracks (but I would trust both my older DC). She's good at helping me cook as is DS and I'd trust her to make coffee but only of it was pre ground up. And tea is rather simple really.

SixImpossible Mon 18-Aug-14 09:58:20

No1 - dc1 did this with friends age 10-11 and told me about it afterwards. I didn't even know that this ungated crossing existed! I squashed my instinctive terror reaction and talked about track safety with him. I have since taken the other dc over that crossing and talked them through crossing it safely. So I'd say 10-11.

Nos2&3 - depends on their manual dexterity, strength and common sense. I let dc3 handle the kettle and use sharp knives at 6, whereas I did not allow dcs1&2 to do that until 8-9, and then only supervised.

I allow unsupervised cooking on the gas stove and oven while there's an adult at home from about 9 (again, dc3 will probably be allowed this earlier - he's just more competent).
I need to take that final, nerve wracking step of letting them cook with fire while I'm out! I would say that, once you're confident that they can handle the stove unsupervised, and know what to do if anything goes wrong, then they are the right age.

MrsJohnDeere Mon 18-Aug-14 09:58:24

1. 12/13?
2. 8
3. 10?

I don't like crossing railway crossings even now so I would be more wary about that but logically is it any more dangerous than crossing a busy road?

Cooking without supervision probably around 9 but with supervision from about 5-6.

Tea and Coffee - 9 again provided they know not to fill the kettle too full so it isn't too heavy to lift safely.

Thanks for the replies.

I'm not comfortable with them crossing the train crossing, it's a full barrier crossing directly attached to the station with heavy gates each side.

I've started letting DS1 Cooke some harder meals (with me hovering) but DS2 i stick to simple stuff.

clary Mon 18-Aug-14 10:33:47

1. Hmm tricky, prob 11-12yo, depending on child.

2. 7

3. Same as long as I had seen them wield the kettle.

<slack parent>

ScarlettDarling Mon 18-Aug-14 10:49:28

Wow...i knew i was over protective but honestly, its never occurred to me to let my 10 year old use the kettle or hob. He's really sensible, maybe I need to start letting him do a bit more?

DaisyFlowerChain Mon 18-Aug-14 10:50:06

13/14
10 if using microwave not hob
13/14

Having seen what damage a kettle can do I see no need for a child to be using one. He doesn't drink hot drinks so it's neither here nor there though. If I want one, I simply make my own.

marne2 Mon 18-Aug-14 10:53:07

Depends how mature they are, of you had crossed the crossing every day for the past 5 years then I would expect the child to be able to know how to cross safety.

Dd1 is 10, I don't let her cook because she has dyspraxia and I worry she will spill something over herself but I have left her at home alone when poorly to drop her sister at school and when she goes to her friends house they will walk to another friends house together.

My 8 year old will probably be a lot older by the time I let her do any of the above, although she will try and cook with a bit of help, she has Autism so her road sense is not great, if someone waved a chocolate bar at her from the other side of the road she would run across without looking grin.

Purpleflamingos Mon 18-Aug-14 10:55:31

1, 13
2, 7 upwards
3, 7 upwards

But all the skills you've listed should start early. My 5 year old us eating a sandwich he's just made himself (was 5 just last week) and has been making sandwiches under supervision for 2 years. 3 yr old dd is starting to learn to spread butter and lift ham onto bread under supervision. I meanwhile, just carry on cleaning dreading the mess in the kitchen.

woolymum Mon 18-Aug-14 10:56:11

DD is 6.5 and recently has insisted on getting her own breakfast ready (although admittedly this phase doesn't seem to have lasted beyond a fortnight), but this only involves getting bowls, cereal and milk out. I think we're a few years off cups of tea and grills and she's fairly trustworthy.
Not sure on the rest as it'd depend on their awareness of the world around them
If I've watched them do the actions a dozen times or so I'd have more confidence.
With the railway I'd trust a 9 year old to cross safely, but only with a LOT of railway safety talks first. At that age we used to have fairly free reign to wander and if there was a track in the area we would have gone over that too fairly often so would have needed a few pointers about what to look for and what to do so we could have been relied on...

HavanaSlife Mon 18-Aug-14 10:57:53

With a barrier? 11
10
10

BreadForBrains Mon 18-Aug-14 11:01:10

1) 11 or so.
2) both mine could do beans on toast now at 9&10 they could also chop stuff and make soup, put sausages in the oven etc. They don't though.
3) no idea. Dp drinks tea at work, I don't drink hot drinks. Mine have never attempted and it hasn't occurred to me to teach them as it isn't something I ever do.

HavanaSlife Mon 18-Aug-14 11:03:21

10 for using hob etc, hes been using the microwave / makimg sandwiches since about 7 without supervision

Thumbwitch Mon 18-Aug-14 11:04:18

1. Cross a railway crossing by themselves on the way to a park or friends house etc. with a barrier, probably about 10. Without a barrier, 12 or so

2. Cook a simple dinner (beans on toast etc) 7 or 8, depending on how daydreamy he continues to be

3. Make tea/coffee 9 or 10 - he's far more likely to damage himself by spilling boiling water onto himself than he is by heating up toast and beans

I have 2 DSs, one is 6.8 and the other is 1.10. Ds1 is very head-in-the-clouds and unfocused quite a lot of the time, so I find it quite hard to let him do something potentially dangerous as I worry he'd lose focus and hurt himself.

DS2 is obviously far too young but if he is more focused than DS1 then he might get to do stuff sooner.

ElephantsNeverForgive Mon 18-Aug-14 11:14:12

Depends on the exact type of crossing. DD1 understood roads were dangerous from being able to walk and was always sensible crossing them. I watched her up to 8 because thats when they say DCs can judge speeds, but she was fine on our country roads before that.

I'm guessing she does cross the rural railway by her DFs, never asked. They walk all over the hills, but they are older teens and incredibly sensible.

DD2 was a total dipstick about crossing roads, only since she was about 12 do I have real faith she looks.

They hate beans

DD1 has made tea since she was 10, DD2(13) hates it and refuses to learn.

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