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6 yr old ds stealing knickers

(35 Posts)
TempShitNC Fri 15-Aug-14 11:44:23

Ok, so when ds was about 2.5 my mum came to stay.

When she'd left, I found all of her knickers under his bed.

Talked to mum about it, and we decided he just missed her and wanted to keep something.

He's 6 now (almost 7) and its happened a couple of times since, one very recently, all with my mum's pants.

I did try taking to him about it, but he got quite angry and embarrassed, so I just told him he could talk to me about it anytime, and left it.

I've just got back from visiting a friend, who lives with communal washing lines,I saw ds jumping up trying to reach some knickers.

I asked what he was doing, and he said his ball was stuck (it wasn't)

Just after some advice really, what could be at the bottom of this?

HumblePieMonster Fri 15-Aug-14 12:01:59

Is this name Arnold, Mrs Layne?
Tell your mum to keep her pants on, and the spare ones under lock and key.

micah Fri 15-Aug-14 12:04:10

Buy him his own knickers? I'd offer to go to the shops with him and buy him some if it'll stop him feeling the need to steal them….

TempShitNC Fri 15-Aug-14 12:05:18

Erm, not sure either is helpful thanks though.

HumblePieMonster Fri 15-Aug-14 12:06:57

Are you serious, then? Is he pinching her fresh knickers, or used ones?

aturtlenamedmack Fri 15-Aug-14 12:07:19

Actually, buying him his own might be helpful - might he just be curious because it's something that he doesn't have?

aturtlenamedmack Fri 15-Aug-14 12:07:29

Actually, buying him his own might be helpful - might he just be curious because it's something that he doesn't have?

TempShitNC Fri 15-Aug-14 12:14:36

Yes, I'm serious! Actually, it was a mix of fresh and used, as she had been to stay.

If I thought he wanted some of his own, I'd have no problem buying him some, but when I tried to talk to him,I asked if he just liked them because they're pretty, and he scoffed and said NO!?

I just don't know how to broach it again without him getting defensive, and I didn't want do any damage by saying the wrong thing IYKWIM

ValerieTheVodkaFairy Fri 15-Aug-14 12:17:22

Well, maybe he isn't going to admit to wearing some of his own because he feels embarrassed?

This does sound odd, OP. I agree with others who have advised letting him choose his own

ValerieTheVodkaFairy Fri 15-Aug-14 12:17:33

*wanting not wearing

TempShitNC Fri 15-Aug-14 12:19:13

This started at 2.5 though, he was only just out of nappies, it couldn't be about wearing them could it?

TempShitNC Fri 15-Aug-14 12:21:28

Thinking about it, he was probably just over 3, because he was talking really well.

DoAndroidsDream Fri 15-Aug-14 12:22:10

What sort of knickers are they? Are the all the same colour or a variety?

KittyandTeal Fri 15-Aug-14 12:23:14

Could he like the feel if the material? Knickers are usually made from nice soft fabric aren't they, could be that. Or maybe the pretty patterns?

If you've gone down the 'if you want some I'll buy you some' route and he's not interested personally of now start the 'it's stealing, I don't care what it is but it doesn't belong to you, if it happens again xy and z will happen'

ValerieTheVodkaFairy Fri 15-Aug-14 12:24:07

Well, 2.5-3 was when my DD started wanting to wear knickers instead of nappies, like her older cousins.

I think letting him choose his own might be the answer. Or try and find some gender neutral knickers online, and just slip them in his wardrobe and see what happens? Surely it's better than having him try and pinch underwear in public, at almost 7 years old?

micah Fri 15-Aug-14 12:25:08

Why not? Maybe he likes the feel, silky fabric, lace, what have you. Boys pants are boring plain cotton, and a lot of women's are very tactile fabrics.

Sorry you didn't find my suggestion helpful. Personally I think it might help, taking him to get his own will show it's ok, nothing to be embarrassed about, you won't be angry with him etc. might open the door as to why he does it too, does he just want them to touch and feel, or to wear, or is it about the stealing, or wanting to be close to the owner..

TempShitNC Fri 15-Aug-14 12:25:27

No, all different.

I can't see me getting an honest answer out of him tbh.

So yes, when it happens again I'll emphasise the stealing aspect, I am a bit worried though, although I doubt know what about confused

TempShitNC Fri 15-Aug-14 12:26:50

Sorry micah I thought you were taking the piss at first flowers

firstchoice Fri 15-Aug-14 12:35:36

I'd take him to the shops and let him choose a range of girls knickers and boys pants.
Make him a 'pant box' in his room (under his bed) so he can access them if he wants to. He might want to play with them, or just know they are there.
He'll grow out of it when they are freely available.
He probably just likes the feel of the fabric / colours etc.

I would be careful not to make him feel ashamed re the ref to stealing
(it is technically stealing but he is still young and you don't want him to bury this down and it to come out later as an issue for him to feel ashamed of)

HumblePieMonster Fri 15-Aug-14 12:39:53

definitely get him a collection of knickers to keep under his bed.

but, doesn't he only want his grandma's knickers?

TempShitNC Fri 15-Aug-14 12:42:38

Yeah,I think you're right first I don't want him to feel ashamed, why ever he's doing it.

I think the pants box is a good idea, although he'll probably be like...why are there girls pants in here?!

He's not in the slightest bit interested in my pants or his little sisters, but they're in no way pretty! Guess that's why.

TempShitNC Fri 15-Aug-14 12:45:07

That's what I though Humble until the other day when he was going to take some from communal drying area.

gamerchick Fri 15-Aug-14 12:48:10

It really might be a fabric thing. That's easy enough to look at as you can get loads of different fabrics that aren't knicker shaped.

firstchoice Fri 15-Aug-14 12:52:42

Ask your mum if she has some her clean old pants she could cut up into rectangle shapes for him, with a bit of the trim on.

Let him choose the other pants / fabrics too. Make him a 'scrap box' that happens to have some silky/lacy scraps as well as a choice of pants.
Tell him he can do what he likes with them. Make a collage, wear them, just keep them under his bed - whatever.

He wont need to nick them from the communal drying and he wont feel ashamed. In time, he might want to talk to you, or that might be enough.

TempShitNC Fri 15-Aug-14 12:56:36

That sounds like good advice.

I'll have to talk to dh about it too confused I've mentioned the previous times, but not this latest communal drying area one. I don't want him to jump to conclusions confused but I think if he was cool about the pant/fabric box, it would really help ds.

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