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Where does this rank on the MN Stupidometer?

(96 Posts)
PlumpPartridge Fri 15-Aug-14 08:43:44

Where 0 is checking the apple for worm holes before biting into it and 10 is ironing a shirt whilst wearing it grin

Last night, DH trapped a quantity of garden snails (aided and abetted by DS1, aged 3yo) in a bowl with soggy cornflakes. He insisted that he was planning to eat them for breakfast and that they would taste delicious as a result of their corn-fattening.

I, in turn, insisted that he cease and desist because:

1) Snails are covered in Salmonella - not a type that normally infects humans, but you never know. We have a 2yo and 3yo in the house and they have immature immune systems. I don't want them exposed to those bugs on such a scale.

2) We are going camping with friends today, for 4 days, and I emphatically do not want to spend the whole time restraining children with one hand whilst holding DH's hair back with another as he vomits. Also, the lack of toilets in our tent. He says he won't get D/V. I say he can't be certain.

3) It's gross.

Let the record show that I wouldn't mind quite so much if he had chosen to do this at a time when we would not be imminently trapped in a tent with him.

He claims I am wildly over-reacting and has regretfully repatriated his snails. He's now whining about the fabulous breakfast he could have had 'with a dab of parsely butter' hmm

Please help us settle the argument or at least keep it going as we trek down the M4 where does it rank on the stupidometer?

AlpacaPicnic Fri 15-Aug-14 08:46:01

He did what?
Wtaf?
I'd say that was about an 8.
Don't snails for eating have to be specially farmed or something?

AtYourCervix Fri 15-Aug-14 08:46:57

I think snails, once gathered, need to be kept for a while and fed on just lettuce or something. It stops them being gritty.

I have no idea how or why i know this.

GalaxyInMyPants Fri 15-Aug-14 08:47:31

I'd have called his bluff and passed him the parsley.

I'd bet you £20 he wouldn't do it.

GalaxyInMyPants Fri 15-Aug-14 08:47:57

I think they actually need to be starved so they're not full of snail shit.

AtYourCervix Fri 15-Aug-14 08:49:17

That would make sense.

Sidge Fri 15-Aug-14 08:49:18

Is your husband Bear Grylls?

ShadowStar Fri 15-Aug-14 08:49:27

A colleague of mine told me that you have to starve snails for a few days before eating them so their guts aren't full of snail poo. Apparently they taste better that way.

I wasn't sure if he was being serious or not though.

Either way, trying out snails for the first time just before going camping sounds like a bad idea. And... is your DH sure that there's no slug pellets anywhere near your garden?

Idontseeanyicegiants Fri 15-Aug-14 08:49:33

According to this I don't think it's a question of just frying them up with some butter grin looks bloody gross tbh! (On app so don't think it will actually link)
http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2011/jun/29/snails-are-not-fast-food
Gist is that you have to clean the crap off them, them purge them of anything they've eaten for a few days then boil them alive. So basically it takes as long to eat them as it takes them to cross the garden!
I would put it at about a 7. smile

GalaxyInMyPants Fri 15-Aug-14 08:50:13

Forget to say. It does rank highly on the stupidometer, probably a7, but I reckon you're best of ignoring such attention seeking behaviour. Let them do what they want.

Gathering the snails is fine even for small kids. I used to get garden snails and keep them as pets when I was a kid. Never ate any.

GalaxyInMyPants Fri 15-Aug-14 08:51:01

I've eaten loads of snails that I've bought in a shop. But I'd never eat garden snails.

AuntieStella Fri 15-Aug-14 08:51:44

I'd have called his bluff too.

And on return from camping (and perhaps before a golf weekend) I'd have DS abet me in reassembling the collection, feeding them their cornflakes and having them ready for DH to dispatch and eat for breakfast before your happy smiling faces.

ALittleFaith Fri 15-Aug-14 08:53:28

He thinks he's Gordon Ramsey doesn't he?! Gordon video suggests it can be done but I'd be wary too!

Idontseeanyicegiants Fri 15-Aug-14 08:53:31

Oh and snails constantly shit so he would have to clean them right up to putting them in the pot. Really daft idea right before a camping holiday. Send him on a foraging course or something, or bit him the Food For Free little gem book. Excellent for info on what's available and recipes to go with it.

Stupid. You need to feed them carrots, then when their poo turns orange you know that any nasty stuff has been pooed out, then starve them for a further couple of days to remove the carrot poo. Then you can cook them in enough garlic butter to actually disguise the taste.

helpmesolveaproblem Fri 15-Aug-14 08:54:22

you CAN eat garden snails but you have to prepare them correctly.

catch them and put them in a glass jar.
feed them exclusively on carrots until thier poo turns orange
then they are safe to eat.

this is becuase they may have eaten some slug pellets and you dont want to eat them like that.
they are 'clean' once the carrot has worked its way through thier system

TeaAndALemonTart Fri 15-Aug-14 08:55:16

Is this an attempt at getting mumsnetters to send you money? Are you going to drip feed that this is the only meat he will have had in weeks?
grin

helpmesolveaproblem Fri 15-Aug-14 08:57:41

best thing to do with kids and snails....

collect them all up in a jar.
stick coloured stickeres on thier shells.
spray a plastic patio table with water.

have a snail race!

Plus if you want to 'nobble' anyone elses snail, pick up the snail and turn around three times, before putting the snail on the table, the snail will 'unwind' and turn three times before it goes straight.

we love snails, but wouldnt eat one!

CuthbertDibble Fri 15-Aug-14 08:58:12

I saw a programme once where they fed the snails flour to clean them out, it took a few days.

Idontseeanyicegiants Fri 15-Aug-14 08:59:25

Educational thread, I didn't know that snails carried salmonella or had to unwind!

WhizzPopBang Fri 15-Aug-14 09:00:53

Ugh... Last time I ate snails (in a restaurant) I woke up in the night with really itchy throat, palms of my hands and feet, had to take an anti-histamine tablet! God knows what that was probably snail poo, boak but I don't think I'll be having them again...

ClashCityRocker Fri 15-Aug-14 09:07:35

I've never thought about snail poo before.

YeGodsAndLittleFishes Fri 15-Aug-14 09:07:42

Not all snails in the garden are garden snails. No all are edible.

It is unnecessary time wasting, and a bit stupid before a camping holiday with shall children. Not a time to be teaching them to pick things up and eat them unless you really know what you're doing.

Isn't the corn fed thing something done in France to small birds, or am i thinking of foie gras?

Poor snails sad starved then boiled alive

Idontseeanyicegiants Fri 15-Aug-14 09:15:44

According to that article it's illegal to hunt a certain type of snail. Who knew these things??

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