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Should I respond to this email from my mother's husband?

(241 Posts)
BigPawsBrown Wed 06-Aug-14 23:05:49

My mum left my Dad for someone else ten years ago and her new husband is an arse difficult. He makes horrible barbed remarks to me and has recently deleted me off facebook. My sister and I see my mum sporadically at best and he never sees his kids. They both, however, think they've done nothing wrong in their relationships with their children. I've had loads of counselling about my mum but have tried to just accept she is never going to be like a normal mum to me sad

It was his 60th on Sunday. I've never sent him a card or anything and I'm not 100% when his birthday is but have had some contact with him lately because he asked to read a novel I've written. I've just got a literary agent so was feeling confident and sent it to him and he was mean about it...

Anyway, he has today sent me an email saying:

Subject: question
Is there any particular reason why I didn't even warrant a birthday card this year?

angry Usually would ignore but I really want to reply.

A. Why expect a birthday card when you're a nob to me all year?
B. I could say I've got a card and present here but since you sent this email you can't have them.
C. Ignore?

tabulahrasa Thu 07-Aug-14 00:29:45

E. No, no particular reason this year smile

Tell him you went to send him a birthday message over Facebook but noticed you'd been defriended. Question: why was I defriended?

Lottiedoubtie Thu 07-Aug-14 00:34:21

"Oh, was it your birthday? Trust you and mum had a lovely day"

Twats like this hate to think they are so unimportant you weren't even trying to slight them!

wafflyversatile Thu 07-Aug-14 00:34:22

F because I want nothing more to do with you or my mother ever again.

NC will set you Freeeeee!

G I did send you one and a present, but the post office returned it saying you're not allowed to send dog shit in the post.

Faez Thu 07-Aug-14 00:34:46

I'd be more annoyed if someone didn't even bother responding so I'd just say ignore

wafflyversatile Thu 07-Aug-14 00:35:02

Actually what Lottie says, but seriously consider going NC.

Beckamaw Thu 07-Aug-14 00:39:34

.....I have a strict policy regarding the sending of birthday greetings to people who delete me from Facebook.
That would do, surely?

RockinHippy Thu 07-Aug-14 00:48:03

I'm with Lottie - worse than being ignored, when trying to goad, is being so unimportant, your were simply forgotten grin

RockinHippy Thu 07-Aug-14 00:51:11

& maybe add a "oh dear, I didn't get a Facebook birthday reminder, it must be playing up again" - as in - he's so unimportant you forgot AND didn't even notice that he has deleted you grin

LiberalLibertines Thu 07-Aug-14 01:00:40, same reason every other year, you're a cunt.

Should suffice grin

Well done on the book flowers

borisgudanov Thu 07-Aug-14 01:06:05

"Yes. HTH."

Or else:

"You think that it's such an affront
Not to get you a card? Take a punt
As to why I did not.
Because I forgot?
Bugger off. It's because you're a c not very nice person."

ThatsNotWhatISaid Thu 07-Aug-14 01:14:54

It's a shame but I think the best thing to do is to not reply,and to distance yourself as much as possible.

Can you block his emails or set up a email rule to so that they are instantly deleted.

He sounds horrible. sad

GhoulWithADragonTattoo Thu 07-Aug-14 01:20:19

Just reply 'yes' and let him stew.

AbbieHoffmansAfro Thu 07-Aug-14 01:24:14

Silence will annoy him most. So grit your teeth and ignore.

AnAirOfHope82 Thu 07-Aug-14 01:25:14

I would ignore then after a few months give your mum a new email address and say you changed emails last year/month and forgot to tell her. Not only will he hate being ignored but that he spent months thinking he had been ignored when really he didnt have your email address anyway!


Actually, what Lottie said is perfect, I love it.

wannaBe Thu 07-Aug-14 01:35:40

"I have detailed them in my latest book."

Alisvolatpropiis Thu 07-Aug-14 03:31:12

Please go with wannabe's suggestion grin

JohnFarleysRuskin Thu 07-Aug-14 06:59:53

I like 'no particular reason'

But I'd probably ignore.

Ignore the twat and consider going nc with him and your mother.

Your own book, fantastic and well done !flowers

CafeAuLaitMerci Thu 07-Aug-14 07:10:58

'You need it spelling out? So, you're a knob and thick'.

Really just ignore him and consider doing the same with your mother.

tumbletumble Thu 07-Aug-14 07:12:12

I like Lottie's too. Good luck with the book - how exciting!

Imbroglio Thu 07-Aug-14 07:47:18

Depends if he sends you a card, invited you to celebrate with him etc.

I don't do cards. For pretty much anyone.Its too much of a minefield.

Woodenheart Thu 07-Aug-14 07:50:44

He was mean about your book, thats a good enough reason to ignore the teat,

He sounds vile OP

Woodenheart Thu 07-Aug-14 07:51:26

*twat not teat grin

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