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If you've been completely unable to stop thinking about a third...

(63 Posts)
VillyCazalet Wed 06-Aug-14 21:42:56

Did you ever reach a point where you were pleased you'd resisted and ridden out the broodiness?

Or do you think it will always be something I'll regret? No practical reasons to go for it btw, the opposite! I feel I am fighting and fighting my instincts to have another, but worried it will just eat me up sad

Dh not ^ massively ^ keen.

VillyCazalet Wed 06-Aug-14 21:43:36

Dc2 is 3. I also worry the gap will be quite big...

Mumof3xox Wed 06-Aug-14 21:44:42

I have two dc close together And then a third a few years younger

She makes me want another because she hasn't got a play mate

Doesn't answer your question
But I am wondering the same I suppose

VillyCazalet Wed 06-Aug-14 21:54:42

Don't leave it too long, could go on forever!

I'm sure the wisdom I've been looking for is out here somewhere.

MyGastIsFlabbered Wed 06-Aug-14 21:59:55

I'm hoping, I'm broody for a third, but it would be a fucking disaster so am desperately hoping this broodiness goes away.

VillyCazalet Wed 06-Aug-14 22:00:53

Fucking disaster about describes it for us too. But really, 2 can't be it?!

Mumof3xox Wed 06-Aug-14 22:07:46

Thing is if you had your third, would you now be in my position? Wondering if you can do without just one more? Again?

Whilewildeisonmine Wed 06-Aug-14 22:11:18

There are 17 months between mine, now DS2 is about the age DS1 was when i got pregnant and I'm suddenly feeling the bloodiness. He's only just turned 9 months... I know practically it would not be sensible to have another (DP is much older than me and DS2 is his DC4) but I feel a huge sense of sad (can't really express it with a word!) that there won't be anymore.

Peacocklady Wed 06-Aug-14 22:16:17

Mine (broodiness) went away and I'm really glad. I've got dc aged 8 and 9 and we do all sorts together but I also can do my own thing. Today for example on the beach I was body boarding with dd then read my book for ages while the kids played independently. I've progressed in my career and we can do things as a family without a load of faff.
A friend once said the broodiness can stay even when you have another. I've realised it's cuddling babies that I adore and that's such a short time. The tantrums and demands of a toddler/ preschooler last a lot longer! The youngest needs the most attention and I like being able to spend time properly with my 2.

VillyCazalet Wed 06-Aug-14 22:18:16

Thank you peacock. Perfect smile

IsItSummerYet Wed 06-Aug-14 22:23:43

I'm expecting DC3, and was very unsure whether to stick with 2. However someone said to me imagine regretting not having another once you are too old to do anything about it. I also when sat around the dinner table as a family asked myself if there was someone missing - I felt there was. HOWEVER I think I was secretly very keen for a third but in denial as had health problems etc. my DH was not keen but has obviously been talked round!

Minisoksmakehardwork Wed 06-Aug-14 22:25:06

Our third was twins grin. The broodiness finally buggered off when the twins were about 18 months. I now have a slight pang but think it's more because they are now over two and there is a two year gap between all our dc (2, 2, 4 & 6).

LJBanana Wed 06-Aug-14 22:31:01

I've just had no3. And I felt the same, the family don't feel complete. I was reluctant to throw or give things away-practical baby things, I just knew there'd be one more.
Now I feel 'done'. I don't have the feeling of wondering what another child would be like.
I'm looking forward to us doing things together. Growing together. Mine have just under and just over a 3 year age gap.

TheSarcasticFringehead Wed 06-Aug-14 22:41:20

I'm trying for a third...17months including my late miscarriage. We won't have anything like IVF for financial reasons, but money wise, we are fine, DH is a SAHD and that would be fine, we both want one and so on. It just doesn't seem to be happening for us.

Lally112 Wed 06-Aug-14 22:42:02

No, I didn't. But if you need some offputting I went for DC3 and got DC3 and 4 as a package!! I'm a glutton for punishment though and really want a number 5.

IrnBruTheNoo Wed 06-Aug-14 22:44:42

Bought two cockatiels - worked for me! Broodiness gone completely!

weatherall Wed 06-Aug-14 22:45:25

I've always wanted 3.

When dc2 was 15 months I felt ready. But we've never actually ttc no. 3. Dc2 is now 6 and I'm still really broody.

We will start ttc by Xmas.

Viviennemary Wed 06-Aug-14 22:50:52

No. I still feel a bit annoyed at DH for not wanting a third even after a long time. Though deep down he was right as we couldn't really have managed three with childminding fees and working and so on.

animalsunited Wed 06-Aug-14 22:56:50

Just had dc3 a few months ago. The first weeks were hard as there is a 5 year gap and it was a little bit if a shock going back!

However now she is smiley, cuddly and settling down a bit I'm loving it. My older ones are lovely with her and I am looking forward to indulging the baby when school is back.

Peacocklady Wed 06-Aug-14 23:00:32

Glad to help! I always imagined I'd have a big family but I don't but I feel so so lucky to have what I have. I cuddle my friends' babies and then am thankful it's not me running after a toddler!

CamperCrazy Wed 06-Aug-14 23:04:55

It didn't go away for me- there's a 7 year gap between Ds2 and DD! DH wasn't keen but obviously now adores her. And the broodiness is gone- DD is 15 months now and I feel our family is complete- although I think she'll be more like an only child as DS's are that much older.

Metalgoddess Wed 06-Aug-14 23:16:03

I'm interested in this too, I just don't feel "done" but it makes much more sense to stop at 2!

Kantha Wed 06-Aug-14 23:23:35

The broodiness wouldn't go away, so spent 3+ years wrestling with the pros and cons of the decision. Decided to go for it and am now expecting DC3 in the Autumn. I am now really looking forward to my family being 'complete' and all the things I want to do together and for myself. It is such a relief to not feel in limbo anymore, and to know that I won't have to be pregnant again.

I was desperately broody for over 2 years and then it slowly began to ebb. The past year I've felt only the odd pang and I do feel that, for us, the age gap would be a bit too big now (DC are 4 and 7).

What has helped a lot is that over the past year they've become more independent and we have been able to do more things together as a family without the stresses of toddlers. I've taken every chance to think, "Could we have done this with an 18 month old?" and that has helped me to balance the reality of having a third with my ridiculously romanticised image of what it would be like. I know if we had gone for a third it would have been great but we didn't and I'd rather see the positives in that than dwell on 'what might have been'.

VillyCazalet Thu 07-Aug-14 07:22:14

That's a great last post too. We're very outdoorsy and I often think 'we couldn't do this' or 'how would this be with a sling/pushchair?'

Romanticised is right for me too. It's all cuddles and gazing in my mind, not the reality!

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