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DH getting lift with friend who's had a drink

(50 Posts)
0pheliaBalls Thu 31-Jul-14 11:12:09

DH is going out for a drink tonight with colleagues. He wants to be home early so will be only staying for two. His friend had offered to drive him to the station afterwards, however this friend will also have had a couple of pints over the space of an hour and a half or so.

I am really not happy about this - DH has always said that the only safe drink drive limit is nil and that driving after consuming any alcohol is taking too much of a risk, so why is he willing to get in the car with someone who has? I found him an alternative bus route home but he says that will massively inconvenience him (it won't, the bus stops outside the pub pretty much). He's accused me of trying to spoil his fun, too.

Am I overreacting?

charlietangoteakettlebarbeque Thu 31-Jul-14 11:20:25

I reckon he's old enough to make his own decisions. I'd leave him to it and try not to worry.

0pheliaBalls Thu 31-Jul-14 11:24:44

I agree he's old enough, but I can't help worrying. And thinking that his friend is a nob for driving after even a couple of drinks

I think you are a little bit - if the bloke is under the driving limit I can't see the problem. And I would say that if your DH suspects the colleague might be over the limit, then he should consider getting the bus.

littlewhitebag Thu 31-Jul-14 11:28:24

I wouldn't get in a car with someone who had drunk a few pints but i know people who think this is fine. You will have to allow your DH to use his own judgement on this.

AlleyCat11 Thu 31-Jul-14 11:29:45

It's up to him, but like yourself I would not be happy about it. You're right to make your feelings known. He's only pissed off cos he knows you're right.

Bowlersarm Thu 31-Jul-14 11:33:02

I think it's a bit odd that you're worrying about it when it hasn't happened yet or may not happen at all. The friend may not drink at all or be well within the alcohol legal limit.

0pheliaBalls Thu 31-Jul-14 11:33:47

I think I probably am overreacting but because neither me or DH drive I don't really know what the legal limits are. I know that after two pints I wouldn't be in a fit state to drive - not pissed but certainly my judgement would be impaired. I guess everyone metabolises alcohol differently though.

I still stand by the opinion that the only really safe limit is no alcohol, though.

0pheliaBalls Thu 31-Jul-14 11:34:59

Bowlers it's definitely happening, it's all arranged.

Seriouslyffs Thu 31-Jul-14 11:38:04

I can't imagine knowing that much about my partner's plans. My dcs yes, but this is micromanaging to a ridiculous degree. Perhaps the friend won't be drinking, who knows? Assuming your DH is a NT adult, you shouldn't be this involved in the minutiae of his plans.

Bowlersarm Thu 31-Jul-14 11:38:16

Sorry OP, I meant that the friend drinking might not happen rather than the event. I think if you only want your DH to have a lift if the guy doesn't drink at all then that's not reasonable. The alcohol limit is there for a reason, and if the law considers it safe then I think you ought to as well, really. Or at least leave it up to your DH.

0pheliaBalls Thu 31-Jul-14 11:39:04

Would two pints of roughly 4.5% beer drunk over an hour and a half put him over the limit though? No meal or anything and getting in the car straight away after (as I say I've no idea about limits because I don't drive)

charlietangoteakettlebarbeque Thu 31-Jul-14 11:40:37

agree with seriouslyffs

If I was OP's DP, I would feel pretty suffocated. Sorry OP.

charlietangoteakettlebarbeque Thu 31-Jul-14 11:41:00

You really are over-thinking this

0pheliaBalls Thu 31-Jul-14 11:43:04

Seriously he told me he's going for a couple of drinks, wants to leave early, and that he's getting a lift with his friend to the station. I asked if the friend would be drinking, he said yes, a couple of pints. I found the bus times as an alternative.

What's wrong with that?

0pheliaBalls Thu 31-Jul-14 11:44:17

Suffocated? Really?!

DownByTheRiverside Thu 31-Jul-14 11:47:32

He's an adult, you've told him what you think and now the decision is his.
But then, my children are adults and so I have had a lot of experience at knowing when to stop fussing. I do worry on occasion, but internally.

It really depends on the person as to what would put them over the limit to be honest.
But usually 2 pints over an hour and a half for bloke should be OK, but you just never know.
I couldn't drink 2 pints and drive.
My OH knows that if we meet for a drink on the way home that one small glass of wine is enough for me or a half a cider!
And that usually takes a while to drink anyway.

charlietangoteakettlebarbeque Thu 31-Jul-14 11:55:23

Yes, really. I have to be honest.

He's already accused you of trying to spoil his fun. You sound more like his mother. If I was him I would just want you to lay off.

Sorry I am just being honest, I don't want to upset you.

0pheliaBalls Thu 31-Jul-14 11:56:08

OK, general consensus seems to be that I should not worry and that it should be fine. I shall phone DH and eat a bit of humble pie for being pissed off earlier. Like I've said I don't know about drink drive limits hence this thread.

Thanks all smile

charlietangoteakettlebarbeque Thu 31-Jul-14 11:57:55

Thing is, he will do it even if you moan about it, so what is the point of creating an argument. That would be me anyway!

0pheliaBalls Thu 31-Jul-14 12:00:01

Charlie I wasn't trying to spoil his fun though, I was just concerned. My worries have been allayed though by talking to people who know better than me on here so all's good smile

0pheliaBalls Thu 31-Jul-14 12:01:50

And yes, you're right re argument! Just off to phone him and apologise for being a twat worrywart

Littlef00t Thu 31-Jul-14 12:07:19

99% sure 2 pints would put anyone over the limit. At the end of the day you have to mention this and your concerns, but it's his choice.

Littlef00t Thu 31-Jul-14 12:09:49

Ok just looked and likely to be ok at 2 pints driving limit wise. Obv doesn't mean he's save though.

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