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How do I refuse to give my mobile number without causing bad feeling?

(66 Posts)
LetsFaceTheMusicAndDance Wed 30-Jul-14 07:47:29

A work colleague is asking other colleagues for my mobile number and has now asked me via FB. Previously, I've said I don't give my number as we have work mobiles and I don't want my personal number used for work-related stuff.

In the lastest request, she's saying she won't use it for work stuff but for various reasons (1 of which being that I'm a funny old so and so) I don't want to give her my number.

However, I really really really don't want to hurt her feelings.

What can I say? Help me wise ones!

bearfrills Wed 30-Jul-14 07:48:31

Exactly what you've said - "sorry but I'm really funny about giving out my mobile number and I'm not going to give it to you".

Deftones Wed 30-Jul-14 07:49:21

Just stick to your guns, state that your personal number is for relatives and that your work number should suffice.

She needs to learn boundaries

BitOutOfPractice Wed 30-Jul-14 07:49:38

"I'm sorry I don't give out my private number to work colleagues. Don't take it personally, I don't give it to anyone. If you need me, use my work number, it's always switched on" <cheery smile>

Bluestocking Wed 30-Jul-14 07:50:10

I would just say "you've got my work mobile, you're welcome to use that for anything you might want to send me" with a big warm smile.

Bit weird though - why would she want your personal mobile number, if there's already a work mobile number she can contact you on?

LetsFaceTheMusicAndDance Wed 30-Jul-14 07:59:50

Thanks for the responses.
The trouble is, several people at work have my number because we are friends so I can't really say I don't give it to work colleagues and our work mobiles are monitored so that we don't use them for personal stuff.

Maybe I'll just ask her to use FB instead without giving a reason but I know she'll just ask why she can't have my number.

Pagwatch Wed 30-Jul-14 08:00:22

I completely agree with the other posters - just say 'I'm a bit protective of my personal number. It's pretty much family only. You can always get me on the work one'

KnackeredMuchly Wed 30-Jul-14 08:04:12

I don't like to give out my mobile number, I mainly ignore requests.

If I have to give it out and someone calls I also ignore it if I want to. People learn not to contact me that way eventually.

Mammuzza Wed 30-Jul-14 08:04:12

I think when t'other person is pushing, rather than taking first refusal at face value, it's them that has to worry about causing bad feeling.

Are you feeling good about this ? Probably not. But you are not the one causing bad feeling, you are at the wrong end of somebody else creating it.

Personally I'd take Bluestocking's excellent line, and use it like a stuck record. With the big warm smile perscribed. Do not engage in any whys, wherefores and justifications.

Becuase the last person I'd want to make an exception for personal numberwise, is a person who did their level best to not take no for an answer right off the bat.

PlacidApricots Wed 30-Jul-14 08:04:13

Does she have a valid reason for wanting the number, are you even friends with her? (FB notwithstanding)

If not, then why does she NEED your number, short answer, she doesn't and you should just say no, no explanation required.

LetsFaceTheMusicAndDance Wed 30-Jul-14 08:04:33

Yes, I'll adapt that Pag to 'family only and people I meet outside of work'.

Thanks for that. And you are so right about boundaries Deftones but that's a whole other story. If she wasn't such a lovely lady, it would be so much easier to deal with.

mipmop Wed 30-Jul-14 08:05:00

Don't give her your number. Just repeat the same stuff about it not being necessary. Don't apologise.

Why does she want it though? It doesn't sound like you're friends. If there is a problem with the phones or service supplied by your employer, or the times you're expected to have your work phone switched on then she can raise her objections officially rather than try to find a workaround. She could be the type to complain that you don't respond to messages on your personal phone, or that you changed your number and didn't inform her...

306235388 Wed 30-Jul-14 08:05:53

Just say:

Hi sorry I keep my mobile number for close friends and family, hope you understand, am always happy to hear from you on work mobile or on FB of course. Hope you're well!

Bat it back to her and ask:

'Why is having my personal number so important to you' said pleasantly of course.

If you're not friends outside of work I don't see why you should back down on this.

Did she actually say 'you're a funny old so and so'?

MummyKnight Wed 30-Jul-14 08:10:01

Just give her a fake number instead.

LetsFaceTheMusicAndDance Wed 30-Jul-14 08:13:24

I definitely won't be backing down - I just don't want to upset a genuinely decent person so I want to be firm but gentle iyswim

Also, I can't refer her to my work phone as we're not allowed to use them for personal stuff (and she says she wants my number for non-work reasons).

She knows some other colleague friends have my personal number so I'll just go with the family and close friends thing and hope she doesn't feel hurt by that. If she does, I guess that's not really my problem if i've been kind about it.

Hakluyt Wed 30-Jul-14 08:15:21

Or if she's a lovely lady and you don,t want to upset her you could just give her your number? It's a phone number,not a bit of your soul!

LetsFaceTheMusicAndDance Wed 30-Jul-14 08:15:22

No Still - that was me! smile

Arf @ Mummy. Sh'd just come back for the right one - but the idea made me laugh.

PlacidApricots Wed 30-Jul-14 08:17:14

You have every right to say no, she is batshit.

LetsFaceTheMusicAndDance Wed 30-Jul-14 08:17:50

Nope Hakluyt, I couldn't. There are other reasons why I wouldn't but I wouldn't feel at all comfortable putting them on a public forum.

Lets I did think cheeky mare, calling you a funny old thing.

I'd find her insistence on wanting your number bloody annoying if there's no real need for her to have it, why hasn't she taken the hint?

TeWiSavesTheDay Wed 30-Jul-14 08:37:56

Gas she not told you why she wants it? Organising a party for another colleague maybe?

PuppyMonkey Wed 30-Jul-14 08:46:36

I like to tell people I'm having trouble with SIMs so the old number isn't working at the moment. And to message me onFB if they need me ( which I usually ignore).

BoulevardOfBrokenSleep Wed 30-Jul-14 09:27:03

I'd say there's no point her having your personal mobile no. as you don't often have it with you and the battery goes flat etc.

Disclaimer - This may not work if she sees you using it all the time!

specialsubject Wed 30-Jul-14 09:38:14

if she's decent, this trivial item won't upset her.

if it does, she's bonkers!

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