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When did you realise you were an actual grown up?

(167 Posts)

I have been thinking about my life recently and I have started to realise that I am no longer a girl, I am a woman. An actual grown up.
I have been a grown up for ages too (early thirties)

But these things have really confirmed it for me..

*I am in another age category when I do surveys
*I was nearly hit by a ball that these young lads were playing with and one shouted to the other 'Wath out for that lady'
*I turn on the radio and I have no flippin idea who's on, or what they are on about

What did it for you? wine

Velocirapture Fri 01-Aug-14 12:17:21

When I bought new school shoes and uniform for DS and then put him in car to go and get an ice cream to get over the trauma of shopping.

dorothyparka Fri 01-Aug-14 12:11:33

In my relationship with my mother I've always had to be the responsible adult--I don't think the midwife made it clear to her which of us was the child and which of us was the parent hmm

jenny1969 Fri 01-Aug-14 11:51:51

My DD is 25 and I still dont feel like a proper grown up. Dont think I ever will until I

Learn to drive
Have a mortgage
Have savings
Work full time
Spend my free time doing sensible things,like gardening, instead of on Facebook

I look at photos of my school friends and they are all so OLD. Still feel like I am play acting, especially when I have to deal with tradesmen.

Its why I struggle to make friends as people my age are all so sensible and talk about babies and colour schemes!

groovyolmutha Fri 01-Aug-14 11:44:05

Last week when I accidentally strayed onto Radio 4 and started listening to The Archers AND thought it was good!

When I get irritated by people who say 'Glasto' and 'Uni'.

When people refer to me as a 'Guy' in shops/cafe's ("It's Madam to you!").

When I am asked for my first name in certain coffee outlet - i.e. none of your business what my name is and I don't want everyone else to know either - again "It's Madam to you, show some respect!".

Otherwise, I still catch myself thinking, oh, I'll do that when I grow up, e.g. do the ironing every week.

DD is 14 and I am over 55!

poppy990 Fri 01-Aug-14 09:43:19

I went clubbing last week for the first time in about 5 years. It was full of 18-20 year olds. One of them came up to me and said 'I hope I'm still going clubbing when I'm your age' ouch! (I'm a young looking 37) I felt really old after that!

Rox19 Fri 01-Aug-14 07:57:34

A few things
- on the way when sister repeatedly attempted suicide when I was 16/17 and mum leant on me (dad useless);

- aged 14 when nan was repeatedly sectioned for mental health problems miles away in yarmouth and again mum leant on me;

- aged 20 when parents bought student but to let and I was responsible for day management and exicting squatters;

- receiving bills on first owned flat aged 22;

- husband being sectioned when I was 22 and being the person responsible;

This looks terrible written down but all were temporary- sister bipolar and fine on new med and husband on anxiety med and had long term CBT! Just made me grow up!!

Mum based-
Seeing the 'my family' name tree and having to fill it in when daughter was 2;

Training as a bf peer supporter when aged 26 and thinking I must be a good knowledgeable mum as I am helping other mums!

When my beloved DH died last year.

Dealing with moving, his estate, dismantling our life and knowing I was the only person who could get me through it has made me feel very grown up and very isolated.

Shlurpbop Fri 01-Aug-14 07:41:13

When I look at my 3 year old DD and realise that this is her childhood, what will shape her and what she will remember when she is older, as I remember mine. The responsibility makes me feel old and a proper grown up.

WasWildatHeart Thu 31-Jul-14 21:32:54

I

Mercedes519 Thu 31-Jul-14 18:49:28

badderz sad

Baddderz Thu 31-Jul-14 18:46:06

When I had to sit down and tell my children my dad, their beloved pop, had died.
I am not the person I was before that.

Maya15 Thu 31-Jul-14 18:42:36

Last year I got a pension, a life insurance and a mortgage. That made me a feel very grown up!
A colleague at work is in her early twenties and has not heard of most movies and music I like (and vice versa) :-)

Ladyboluna Thu 31-Jul-14 17:09:19

When I realised I spent more money on knitting yarn than alcohol at the age of 23.

I thought: this is my life now.

Greengrow Thu 31-Jul-14 12:41:00

For a very long time. As a teenager I was always extremely sensible, planning etc. I have yet to have things like gap years and wild phases. I think I was born middle aged and only now that I am has my age caught up with the mentality.

ContentedLittleMummy Thu 31-Jul-14 12:20:08

Realising yesterday that we either went to see the Northern lights in the winter OR pay for our ensuite which has just flooded and has been ripped out. Obviously the bathroom won. That and my tax return. There used to be a time when I'd get my student load and piss off on holiday with it, then eat mushy peas on toast for the rest of the term. I'm going on 28.

sauvignonblacks Thu 31-Jul-14 12:06:16

Don't know whether it's grown up or getting old but tuning into James O'brian's mystery hour gives me a strange satisfaction

TheGonnagle Thu 31-Jul-14 10:22:00

I didn't feel grown up until I got ill.
Overnight I became an adult. Sorting out wills, checking life insurance, cancelling plans to move as we couldn't guarantee my income long term etc.
I am now officially a grown up.

PasswordProtected Thu 31-Jul-14 05:05:04

Buying silk thermal vests & being able to deal with spiders in my house have made me feel officially grown up, but in my head I am still about 26.

EBearhug Thu 31-Jul-14 01:25:43

At 37, dealing with my mother's death, executing the will, clearing our childhood home and realising that I was the oldest left in my line.

Haven't managed to do proper grown up stuff like mortgage, marriage or motherhood. Never managed to get a promotion. Been gardening and listening to Radio 4 since childhood.

Not sure why it bothered me in some ways. My mother was never exactly supportive anyway. But I've got friends my age, and some still have grandparents, let alone parents. It definitely does change something.

GoshAnneGorilla Thu 31-Jul-14 01:09:20

Two moments, which seem rather trivial compared to most on this thread.

The first was when I was working with a school nurse. I was walking through the school with a pupil we needed to see, when she was waylaid by some argumentative classmates. I realised that I wasn't at school and didn't have to feel cowed by mouthy school girls as I was now an adult. I told them that we had somewhere to be and off they went.

The second is a few months ago when Dd1 came home with her brand new school shoes massively scuffed. I now understand how my mum felt when we did similar things. It made me feel rather old.

BillyJoel Wed 30-Jul-14 23:41:36

I am rehearsing for a play in which i play 21 year old wondering if I'll ever meet the right man and settle down and have kids. And i really feel it and remember that feeling very clearly. The i remembered that i did find the man and have 3 fab kids, and it did actually happen for me. Very weird cos i remember the feeling so well. I guess i did grow up somewhere along the way. I do feel like a fraud at work - i have a very responsible job and people come to me for answers and advice and somehow trust me to give them the right answers. I am still getting away with it and some people i really respect seem to think i am doing a good job. Weird.....

NoMilkNoSugar Wed 30-Jul-14 23:40:57

Forgetting my age and having to work it out. I decided I was staying at 36 forever, as that was easy to remember. Then my brother died and I'm suddenly bloody grateful to be 37.

mumof2kiddos Wed 30-Jul-14 22:54:19

When my DD now almost 13, was 6wks old, she fell really ill, vomiting diarrhea listless and it was only me and DH...no one around. Also it was quite late at night and most of doctor's clinics closed (it was outside the UK). At that moment it first hit me the enormity of the whole thing! We had to locate a 24-7 nursing home, get the paed check her, get her admitted and then all the faff following it.

Strangely when we bought our own house, arrange mortgage etc, I was never really out of the 'haze', my DH did the whole thing and only took my signatures where needed. It was too surreal for me...as if beyond my grasp! Even now after 6 yrs sometimes I wonder whether this house is 'really' our's???

temporaryusername Wed 30-Jul-14 22:22:28

Oh yes, and someone said they wanted to ask me questions for their school project because it was about toys people played with in the olden days.

enormouse Wed 30-Jul-14 22:21:55

grin at a grumpy badger.

I've just had a phone call from my MIL and we're going to B&Q recreationally next week and then for a nice cup of tea. We're also planning an ikea trip. I can't pinpoint when but at some stage I grew up and started making an effort with her instead of just tolerating her. That feels grown up to me.

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