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'Man Sends Wife Spreadsheet Of All Her Excuses Not To Have Sex'.

(253 Posts)
PlumpPartridge Mon 21-Jul-14 23:04:05

'cos yes, that's totally going to make her want you hmm

And there are apparently people who think he's hard done by. Jesus wept.

Since when was 'Because I don't want to' NOT a valid reason?

elQuintoConyo Mon 21-Jul-14 23:18:48

Fuck me, that's awful. What a sad little wanker.

Sorry for the language, I'm aghast.

SiennaBlake Mon 21-Jul-14 23:20:11

I saw this. Quite horrible if it's real but reddit does get its fair share of trolls too.

It's quite depressing how some people think he was fair to do it and basically think he deserves sex from her.

RubySparks Mon 21-Jul-14 23:20:45

Was excuse no. 1 'because you are the sort of twat who makes up spreadsheets'!

AuntBeru Mon 21-Jul-14 23:26:33

What a numpty.

PinkSquash Mon 21-Jul-14 23:28:45

What a wanker.

Wow. he was demanding sees virtually every day, and people sided with him?

The world is full of idiots.

GiniCooper Mon 21-Jul-14 23:31:27

Well, he certainly made a point.
Mainly he was lucky to get ANY action, tosser.

MyFairyKing Mon 21-Jul-14 23:32:52

There is no evidence that he was "demanding", for heavens sake! They have a communication issue, not a sex issue.

ifyourehoppyandyouknowit Mon 21-Jul-14 23:33:46

It's a wonder she wasn't ripping his clothes off every night, he sounds like a charmer.

RabidFairy Mon 21-Jul-14 23:37:39

By my count he asked her nearly every day. Including days after they had sex. And then that shitty, cowardly way of shaming her publicly for not being a dutiful woman and putting out whenever HE wanted sex. Utterly horrible behaviour from him.

He didn't shame her publicly though, she posted it online.

It does seem an arsey way to behave though. Complain at the time, don't keep notes about it.

Communication is the issue here.

lettertoherms Tue 22-Jul-14 00:04:53

The comments on the article are sickening.

Fuck, the world is depressing sometimes.

I read that on buzzfeed a few days ago. Even if it originated from a troll the responses it got are repulsive. Maybe someone cleverly fabricated it to shit stir or just to see if the sexist, controlling wankers would out themselves... I hope that's what it is because I'm hoping against hope that there really isn't a man out there who believes he should have that kind of control/ownership over his wife's body.

PurplePunkPrincess Tue 22-Jul-14 01:58:14

I saw it on Facebook, if I was her I would use it in the divorce! One of the reasons, she felt gross after being at the gym but didn't shower until the next day. Maybe she was tired, just because she was happy to sleep like that does not mean she would also be happy getting intimate, don't think he would have given a damn, if my dp ever did this I would regret everytime I had said yes!

Do you think he has ever stopped, looked at these excuses and thought " I wonder if the problem is me?" I doubt it.

What a strange,sad, organised fellow he is.
I wonder if he made a graph with the data? I enjoy a good graph. Very visual.

mathanxiety Tue 22-Jul-14 03:00:19

I like what the wife wrote and I am happy for her that she posted it online. I would hazard a guess that he will find it hard to get a date after the divorce unless he has a taste for women whose self esteem is in the toilet. He comes across as a good deal less attractive than a three day old pile of dishes in the sink.
I underlined some of what she said:

'Attached is a SPREADSHEET of all the times he has tried to initiate sex since June 1st, with a column for my 'excuses,' using verbatim quotes of why I didn't feel like having sex at that very moment '
It seems from that that her experience of his approaches was that he was not exactly a master of the suave approach.

And I like the editorial position too:
'Regardless of who is right and who is wrong, the sexual entitlement here is pretty undeniable. So is the immaturity.'

And this man seems to have it figured out too:
"I'm not a marriage counselor," writes Bob Powers of Someecards, "but I'm pretty sure that if you and the spouse aren't sleeping together as much as you'd like, the way to turn her on is not with passive-aggressive use of Microsoft Office."

I get the feeling she was sparing his feelings all those times she said she needed a shower and then didn't take one. The one reason she didn't say out loud was that he is horrible in bed.

PlumpPartridge Tue 22-Jul-14 06:53:47

Yes, I liked the editorial position too.

differentnameforthis Tue 22-Jul-14 09:07:23

I wonder if he realises that she made all those excuse because she just didn't want to but didn't feel safe enough to vocalise that!

What a catch he is.

FolknNorah Tue 22-Jul-14 09:16:50

I saw this on fb too yesterday. Lovely.

halfwildlingwoman Tue 22-Jul-14 09:29:03

3 times in 7 weeks? He's not that badly off. He should be fucking grateful any woman EVER agrees to have sex with him. Depressing.
Perhaps a spreadsheet of the compliments he has paid her, the housework he has done, the little gestures such as running her a bath might help explain her reluctance.

katienana Tue 22-Jul-14 09:29:28

This is a pretty good example of what not to do, it's tough if your sex drives don't match up but he should have talked to her about it. I think once you've turned sex down and got a bit of attitude back it makes you less keen to do it the next time. So I doubt if she will ever want to have sex with him again.
I think it's minging to not shower after the gym though, the sheets would stink!

WineAndChocolateyummy Tue 22-Jul-14 11:23:19

Maybe I am taking this too seriously but.....
Whilst I totally agree it is her body and she has the right to decide when she wants to participate, this spreadsheet was meant to be just between them. Perhaps a poor choice of communication tool, but at least he tried, and I would imagine it must have been desperation that led him to do it. It is a reflection of how he was feeling.... I doubt very much they got together on the day before and he woke up and thought, hey let me keep a spreadsheet. Equally, if it had been a diary that he had shown her about his feelings (or hers if situation reversed), would this have been blown up into such a big thing. No, if that had been made public, then it would have been an issued about a betrayed trust of privacy.

Instead of posting it for the world to see, maybe she should have stopped for a moment and thought why did he do this. It might not change anything, but now I guess they are both feeling very resentful. What would everyone be saying if he had gone out and got it elsewhere?

BonnieCaley Tue 22-Jul-14 11:28:25

3 times in 7 weeks?!?! No wonder he's frustrated lol he may have gone about it the wrong way - but she made it public!!!

PlumpPartridge Tue 22-Jul-14 11:49:07

She made it public because it's just so twattish to keep a calendar!!

The only thing the wife was being unreasonable with was in NOT saying 'You're right, they're poor excuses. I just didn't want to. I should have said that. Apologies for the poor communication.'

He is also judging her excuses to 'not be good enough', which is a Big-Ben-sized warning bell hmm

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