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I've found a genius way to stop ex hanging about constantly.

(21 Posts)
D0oinMeCleanin Mon 21-Jul-14 20:01:01

He came round at dd2's behest to see her new bike and how good she is at falling off it riding it without stabilisers.

This of course involved him coming in and since he was here he might as well stay for tea. Cue much moaning that tea was going to be late (all children are still playing out/got friends over)

Dd2's rats have babies. They've just started leaving the nest. Ex promised if I got them rats he wouldn't come round anymore. He lied sad

Dd1 came downstairs to tell me she had counted the babies and 2 were missing. She thinks they've escaped.

I've never seen him move so fast in my entire life. It normally takes him at least 45 minutes to gather his things, go to the loo, generally piss about and piss me off. He was out of the door in less than 5 minutes.

Dd1, her friend and myself are highly amused. The baby rats are the approximate size of an adult thumb nail.

NB: I advised on letting mummy rat out. She found her babies, all are safe and well and back in their cage. The DC have been warned to keep a closer eye on keeping the cage locked.

It would be wrong to stage frequent escapes wouldn't it? Maybe every day, just after he's had his cuppa? He can still see the kids daily and won't be under my feet annoying me.

NatashaBee Mon 21-Jul-14 20:07:55

I would make him a cup of tea and a biscuit and pop a little pink plastic eraser (maybe like the ones on the end of pencils) under the biscuit next time he comes around... see how fast he moves then.

FabULouse Mon 21-Jul-14 20:09:25

Haha what a dweeb grin

FabULouse Mon 21-Jul-14 20:09:43

Any cute baby rat pics for us?

Ephedra Mon 21-Jul-14 20:15:54

Yy pic please!

I really miss having pet rats.

ImperialBlether Mon 21-Jul-14 20:16:52

OP, is he the one who goes to the toilet every time he comes to your house?

D0oinMeCleanin Mon 21-Jul-14 20:22:28

No, Imperial, he's the one who turns up unannounced and then doesn't go home until the wee hours. I've actually turned the TV off, turned all the lights off, changed into my PJs and stood at the foot of the stairs once and he's stayed blabbing at me for 40 minutes while his supper "settled" hmm

I will add photos of rats soon. My phone is charging atm. They are very small and cute. They're white and brown with pink eyes.

LegoClone Mon 21-Jul-14 20:22:31

Marking my place in the hope of seeing cute baby rat pictures. grin

How many rats do you have? Maybe it's just not enough to keep your ex away...

Fluffycloudland77 Mon 21-Jul-14 20:24:41

You need free range rats, ones specially trained to bite on command.

BertieBotts Mon 21-Jul-14 20:27:55

Hahahaha baby rats, brilliant.

Imperial he was the one who D0oin posted about for years and years and the whole of mumsnet cheered her on virtually with pom poms when she finally LTB grin

Ilovenewts Mon 21-Jul-14 20:44:21

Um. Why not just tell him to leave your house ?

DiaDuit Mon 21-Jul-14 20:51:16

Why dont you just tell him to go? He doesnt even need to come in the house does he? It's your new place that you moved to to get away from him. he lives close enough the dcs can take their bikes to his. Keep him at the door when he comes to get them in future. Send them out then shut the door.

D0oinMeCleanin Mon 21-Jul-14 20:51:53

I've tried that many times Ilovenewts. He starts getting ready to go. He'll just have something important to talk to me about first. Then he'll need the loo. Then he'll need to look for his charger. Then his coat. Then he might aswell talk to me about x while the dogs are having a wee before bed, then he'll need a wee again, then he'll need to check where his keys are.....

I'd like to keep on civil terms with him. He is the key as to whether I can or not. If he decides to not have the kids three nights a week (at my house because they refuse to go to his) then I'll have to leave my job, so as much as I'd love to tell him to fuck off when he does this, I can't risk him having a tantrum.

I actually don't mind him coming to see the kids, but it grates on me when he acts as though he is being forced to stay hmm

Ephedra Mon 21-Jul-14 20:52:26

Fluffy when I was a kid we had a rat that had the run of the sitting room. He would come and stand at your feet when you called his name. Maybe op can train the rats to run towards her ex every time he visits?

Ilovenewts Mon 21-Jul-14 20:54:51

I really couldn't put up with that. I'd have to be very forceful. I'm not sure I'd let him in at all actually. He's just showing his dominance again isn't he ? By making you uncomfortable and wanting him to leave and him deliberately not leaving.

D0oinMeCleanin Mon 21-Jul-14 21:00:43

No, he's just really slow and rubbish at reading social cues. He does similar everywhere. My mum's, my sister's, my gran's. It's a long running joke within my family that once he turns up it's impossible to get rid of him hmm

Thecircle Mon 21-Jul-14 21:02:16

Erm don't suppose you have any rats going spare op?


Ilovenewts Mon 21-Jul-14 21:06:37

Really ? Well doesn't sound like it's just you at least. Have you tried a cattle prod ? grin

YouGeorgeBernardMate Mon 21-Jul-14 21:06:45

YABU but only because we got there first.

My insufferable ex-husband's fear is ferrets.

So, of course, when he plonked his fat ass on my sofa and demanded someone made him tea with his customary 4 sugars he had to have an introduction to ours. He left faster than a ferret up a drainpipe! grin

Lewisfan Mon 21-Jul-14 21:07:45

Now that is a hilariously brilliant story! grin

DiaDuit Mon 21-Jul-14 21:13:10

He's a space invader! Eugh- cant stand that.

Seriously though OP- dont let him claim your new home as part of his personal space. It's not. He's only there by invitation and YOU decide when he goes. The fact that you are worried about his tantrums and him refusing to do childcare is not a good situation for you to be in. Can you change your work hours to daytime when girls are at school? Or ask your mum/family/a local teen to babysit. The free babysitting from him just would not be worth the price you have to pay for it- letting him be in your house and YOU having to cook for him (WTF? Might aswell just have stayed with him!)

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