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How long can I realistically hide my pregnancy?

(68 Posts)
PeppermintInfusion Mon 21-Jul-14 18:44:06

For various work related reasons, I need to conceal my pregnancy for as long as possible, ideally until when I legally need to inform my employer, though I understand that is highly unlikely blush

When will I realistically be showing beyond doubt?

I work mostly with men who are unlikely to pick up until it's obvious btw.

I am quite large framed/wide hips and carry a bit of weight round my stomach anyway; size 14-16 if that helps.

I know everyone is different but just looking for an idea.

TIAsmile

PeppermintInfusion Mon 21-Jul-14 19:09:58

Rainicorn, I'm not really worried about them firing me- I'm starting a new job but I'm on a freelance contractor basis. Decided to TTC, amazing job came up so decided to go for it and postpone TTC, but turned out it was too late smile only found out after I'd accepted the job.

Due Mid Feb so if I can hide it til October I'd be happy to tell them then.

RevoltingPeasant Mon 21-Jul-14 19:10:31

I am 12 weeks and a size 12 and I am finding some work clothes too tight and also jeans. But then I have been mostly living on carbs for the past 7 weeks confused

The office manager already guessed, though too polite to say, as she has been pg several times and said I was holding myself differently. I didn't realise!

I imagine with the quiet summer office and me wearing baggy clothing people might not guess till 15/16 weeks but wouldn't be surprised if some have sussed.

TheFirmament Mon 21-Jul-14 19:10:31

It varies so much and people are very different, so i think it's really hard to predict. I've had 2 friends who looked barely any different at 5/6 months - whereas I couldn't do up my jeans from 6 weeks and at 3 months someone asked me if it was twins!

I bet there will be good advice on the web about the best clothes to keep it hidden though.

RevoltingPeasant Mon 21-Jul-14 19:11:25

OP I have my dating scan tomorrow but probably due early Feb smile

RevoltingPeasant Mon 21-Jul-14 19:12:58

OP if it's a new job you could start dressing in a style that would hide it from right now and then people will think it's just your style.

Like, empire line tops and dresses, floaty blouses.

Lovelydiscusfish Mon 21-Jul-14 19:14:19

I could have hidden mine right until the due date if I'd worn baggy stuff! Even not trying to hide it, people often didn't notice I was pregnant, right until the end. My baby was very small though - hard to predict how it will go as bumps can vary so much!

slithytove Mon 21-Jul-14 19:20:05

Indeed Hampton, major xp smile

I suffered a great deal at work from not having appropriate risk assessments etc, hence my caution.

ClariceBeanthatsme Mon 21-Jul-14 19:21:38

Generally most people would probably be too polite to ask anyway, they will just think your looking a bit chunky!
If anyone hints just look really offended grin

MrsPixieMoo Mon 21-Jul-14 19:24:04

I also had a new part time position as a freelance contractor. Accepted the job and found out a week later I was pregnant. My other employer - where I'm not self employed - knew fairly early as I have had recurrent miscarriages and was taking a medication regime for that. I was scared to tell the place I was contracting as it took them ages to sort my contract out. I told them at 20 weeks after looking very pregnant for ages. Nobody had guessed. Mixed office, men, women, all ages, many with children. I was in maternity clothes from 8 weeks, partly due to steroids I was taking but I think they just thought I was a bit porky.

LarrytheCucumber Mon 21-Jul-14 19:25:37

I managed to keep DC2 quiet until 24 weeks. Your boobs can be a giveaway. That's how I noticed one of my colleagues was pregnant (but I didn't mention it until she did).

PeppermintInfusion Mon 21-Jul-14 19:27:58

Slithy & Hampton, my job is office based and I can't really see any issue with day to day duties, but if it looked like I had any health issues I would tell them right away- concealing it is on the presumption that I have no major problems.
As for time off, the role will be pretty autonomous so I can just go to the appts without really answering to anyone and as I am effectively a self-employed consultant I'm not sure I would be entitled to time off etc in the same way as an employee as I pay my own holiday pay/get paid more but all leave is unpaid.

It's just that I don't start til the end of August, so want a month or two to prove myself before the big reveal.

Peasant- congrats! Think I'll be due around 21st smile

PeppermintInfusion Mon 21-Jul-14 19:34:23

Also Peasant, that's my plan re the clothing style- I'm currently scouting for clothes as my job atm is casual so I just wear jeans with nice tops but the new place is a bit more dressy. So far I've got a few waterfall type blazers and looking for some looser shirts that don't need tucked in, etc. and I'll probably buy some maternity trousers and just wear them from the start.

I haven't really put on weight so far, no vomiting, was a bit bloated but that's starting to shift. The only thing is I've gone up 2 cup sizes already.

Chunderella Mon 21-Jul-14 19:37:02

I am due around when you are and have an actual bump already! Colleagues have clearly all guessed, and it's not like I had a washboard stomach before.

Is this your first baby? If it is, you'll probably have a better chance at keeping it quiet longer. I was a bit smaller than you when I had my first, same wide hips though, and the first time anyone else noticed was at 12 and a half weeks- but I wasn't dressing to hide it. Could probably have covered it for another couple if I'd been so inclined. This was with a relatively quickly appearing bump. It's so hard to say, really. Everyone's different. My friend is pretty skinny and when I saw her at about 15 weeks, she could still pass for someone who'd just eaten a big meal. Or one of those thin people who have a gut. You'll be about 15 weeks at start date, yes? So it might be possible.

25 weeks probably a bit of a stretch though, unless you're one of those people who just doesn't show for ages. Which does happen.

Chunderella Mon 21-Jul-14 19:38:07

Maternity trousers can be a bit of a bugger, too. I'm currently in the awkward stage where you can't fasten up your old trousers, but the maternity ones are massive. I guess you could get a pair in a smaller size just to last you a few weeks?

weatherall Mon 21-Jul-14 19:39:21

One at 20 weeks one at 25.

FidelineAndBombazine Mon 21-Jul-14 19:42:14

In my first pregnancy, I still wasn't showing at 25 weeksish (size 10 at the time). People around me were asking if I was quite sure of my dates. These things really can vary wildly. Try to play it by ear?

PeppermintInfusion Mon 21-Jul-14 19:42:25

Chunderella, I'll be about 15/16 weeks when I start hoping to make it til about 20-22weeks.
Part of the issue is that although it is a 6m contract, they have since said they'd be keen to extend it- obviously that wouldn't work for me as I'll just about make the 6m mark in the job but worried it would put them off me too early. It really is a once in a while opportunity.

PeppermintInfusion Mon 21-Jul-14 19:44:48

Chunder, I'm not really showing yet- I was very bloated earlier on but it has gone down mostly now. I'm thinking either mat trousers in a smaller size or else plus size trousers in a larger size.

eurochick Mon 21-Jul-14 19:45:14

I told work at 13-14 weeks, and the women said they had guessed. Men were still noticing I was pregnant for the first time at about 30 weeks.

I was fairly slim and worked in a smart environment so had quite tailored work clothes and pushing the seams on them didn't help concealment.

PeppermintInfusion Mon 21-Jul-14 19:46:28

Fideline, yes going to play it by ear- it's not the end of the world if I have to tell them sooner

I was handing round the cakes on my last day in work before my maternity leave started (about 34 weeks incl. a bit of annual leave). Pretty cakes with bunnies and duckies on them.
One of the guys I work with said "Oh are you pregnant?"

Start gradually adding some looser cuts tops to your workwear now, and keep wearing them as you get bigger. People will be less likely to notice than if you suddenly go full on maternity wear.

You can also try things like this or this to keep your pre-pregnancy trousers lasting a little longer.

PeppermintInfusion Mon 21-Jul-14 19:48:19

MrsCakes, intend to wear looser tops anyway so that should help and it will also be winter so I'll add a few layers!

MrsPear Mon 21-Jul-14 19:57:37

Op i was in similar position with my first. You can get these belly band things to attach to your trousers that add a few inches without the need for maternity. Also get maternity trousers that are tailored without the big band - next do them. Create your style now so a tailored bottom half with empire tops is great. Good underwear is an essential as well. As for appointments i only had 2 scans and one midwife appointment. I used hoildays for the scans and used the "woman issue" excuse for midwife appointment. Despite working in a hospital everyone was stunned when I announced i was 23 weeks pregnant. Good luck

I could've gotten away with mine until about 28 weeks. At 26 weeks my friends asked if I was really pregnant or just pretending.

28 weeks and BAM, I popped smile and there was no hiding it.

PeppermintInfusion Mon 21-Jul-14 20:26:29

Thanks Pear, I was also wondering about the no of appointmentssmile getting out shouldn't be too much of an issue - anywhere I've worked in this industry so far you generally just state "I'll be late in/leaving early/nipping out for an appointment" rather than ask and don't elaborate too much and it is never questioned. If there's still to catch up on due to appt I would just do the work anyway as it's project type work rather than bum in a seat for a set period. I'll probably be able to work from home as well if needs be.

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