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You ever been somewhere you just don't feel like you it in ?

(138 Posts)
olaflikeswarmhugs Sun 20-Jul-14 20:44:41

At a wedding with old work buddies . I'm the only one with with kids and a total outsider sad

EatShitDerek Sun 20-Jul-14 20:46:44

Every where I go grin

BikeRunSki Sun 20-Jul-14 20:49:01

My NCT group. It's taken me 6 years to gradually remove myself. Made some truly excellent friends through Surestart though.

Memphisbelly Sun 20-Jul-14 20:49:25

All the time, even on nights out with my oldest friends I usually feel like a fraud.

Kasey12 Sun 20-Jul-14 20:53:51

Work. I'm at least 10 years older than most, have a child, don't drink much or go out to pubs/clubs, am not fashionable or trendy. I'm not obsessed with food or calories. Luckily I'm only part time! They are nice people. Just nothing in common.

Yes, always and anywhere,

settingsitting Sun 20-Jul-14 20:56:18

An ex boyfriend's friends. They were nice and tried to include me. But I didnt understand even half of what they were even talking about. The relationship didnt last. Quel surprise!

iwanttobeanonymous Sun 20-Jul-14 20:56:25

Belong to a group, enjoy company of people there but am never included in the "extra" get togethers over coffee etc (and if I suggest one no one can make it)

If I post that i can't get to our usual session its ignored. Anyone else posts that the'yre not going and gets lots if messages.
Thinking its time I moved on

Deftones Sun 20-Jul-14 20:56:30

I don't feel I fit in anywhere other than at home with DP and DD haha

I just try and embrace it and avoid drinking too much grin

ChairmanWow Sun 20-Jul-14 20:58:23

Baby groups. Just found them so dull and cliquey. Worst experience was the woman who actually moved when I sat down next to her and said hello. I'm pretty sure I don't smell and I'm definitely not scary. Met some lovely folks through Buggy Fit though.

foslady Sun 20-Jul-14 21:01:29

All the time. It's now become the norm. I expect to be spoken over/ignored. Everyone else has their dc's and husbands. I'm on my own with dd and the eldest of the group. Also they are all working in a certain area that's different to me and one in particular only talks about work which knocks me out of the conversation straight away

stillenacht1 Sun 20-Jul-14 21:02:44

Everywhere. Particularly around families. My DS is severely autistic and can clear a playground within seconds as mummies and daddies don't want to have that awkward conversation with their children.

Friends don't understand, family doesn't although DM really tries too and it breaks her heart toosad. Work doesn't understand. My wonderful DH does. I love him smile

Sparklingbrook Sun 20-Jul-14 21:05:24

Always. Especially in the pub after junior football matches.

RabbitSaysWoof Sun 20-Jul-14 21:06:44

Chairman You just reminded me of when I went to baby sensory and a woman asked me to move somewhere else so her friend (who hadn't arrived yet) could sit there grin

Hobbes8 Sun 20-Jul-14 21:41:33

My toddler son likes running around with a football so I signed him up for some tots football classes. They're on a Sunday, but I'm on maternity leave so I didn't think much of it and was expecting it to be just like the other few groups we go to. I turned up and it was full of burly blokes in football strips accompanied by tiny kids in matching football strips.

craftysewer Sun 20-Jul-14 22:29:11

Deftones, I feel exactly the same. Never felt 'part of the gang' at school or work. It's got to the point where I just concentrate on family now.

shock and sad at Chairman and Rabbit

That's awful. Why do people have to be so bloody horrible?

ChairmanWow Mon 21-Jul-14 06:54:18

I think those groups bring out the worst in people. And some people are petty and childish.

Another not fitting in thing - I couldn't breastfeed - didn't lactate. When this happened with DC1 I was gutted and felt really ashamed to be bottle feeding. One morning I was at baby massage and I whipped out a bottle to feed DS and the woman next to me gasped loudly then proceeded to go on about how amazing bf was and that she would be BFing until her baby was at least two. Passive aggressive bitch. Made me feel a bit better weirdly - that at least I wasn't party of the titty taliban.

Puntosareus Mon 21-Jul-14 07:17:05

My husband was in the forces when we got married and it was a new way of life for me.
On moving to a new base I was invited to a neighbours house for a cup of tea which I thought was nice. I turned up on the doorstep at 11.00 and was asked what I wanted, I explained about the cup of tea and was told didn't I realise you had morning coffee and afternoon tea? Told to go away and come back at 3.00! Needless to say I didn't return.
Took me awhile to get used to the divide between the ranks and I was told that I couldn't be an officers wife as I was to ordinary, took that as a compliment

Branleuse Mon 21-Jul-14 07:27:20


PetiteBateau Mon 21-Jul-14 07:32:03

I don't fit anywhere, except with my partner & child. I am a freak I think. Sometimes it bothers me

Punto, that really is dreadful shock - (sorry, I realise I'm contributing nothing useful to this thread - I just keep stating the bleeding obvious! grin) Chairman You're absolutely right about baby groups. I took my DS to a couple of weekly groups (a music/play one, and a dance one when he was a bit older) and most of the mums were very cold and unfriendly. I used to go home feeling relieved it was over, but already dreading going again the following week. What a wimp I sound... blush

BravePotato Mon 21-Jul-14 07:54:32

I have it with the school's y5 mums, most are so pushy and obsessed with their child's successes. As the mother of a dyslexic daydreamer who hates team sports I just can't take part in the endless conversations about how amazing the kids are....I had one woman bore me to deat about how her son should be in the top set for maths and sll his exam results. Why did she think I'd care?

Whereas if we go out with y3 mums we get a bit drunk, have a laugh and IF we talk about our kids it is in a humourous disparaging way. Mostly we don't talk about them though.

Mums night out.... Minefield.

Superworm Mon 21-Jul-14 08:52:59

I'm always baffled by the 'saving a seat' thing. In various groups I've arrived, said hi to someone from last time and started chatting. I've gone to sit down and been told, 'oh I'm saving that seat for x'.

Fine if your 12...rude when your in your 30's grin

KnappShappeyShipwright Mon 21-Jul-14 09:00:37

Absolutely. Everywhere, it seems. I just don't fit in with groups, I'm always skirting round the outside. I'm happy at home with DH and the DCs, but otherwise it all feels like a secret club and I don't know the password - at work, at the DC's schools and at big family gatherings. It must be a fault with me though, since everyone else seems to love that sort of thing!

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