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How would you deal with this? Am I being too harsh?

(20 Posts)
ziggiestardust Sun 20-Jul-14 13:52:27

DS has been deliberately pouring juice/water onto the floor of his bedroom recently. He has it in a sippy cup, but he is squeezing the mouth piece together to get it out and drench the carpet. We've talked to him about it, told him it's wrong and it seemed to have sunk in.

However, today he said he was tired after lunch (we have been up since 6), so I gave him some juice in a sippy cup and left it by his bed and he took a nap. Went in to wake him up; juice all over the floor.

I told him it was really naughty, and he was going to have to help clean it up, and that would take time. We were supposed to be going swimming this afternoon, but I told him that would have to wait now while he cleaned up his mess. I also told him that depending on how long it took him, he might have to miss swimming as there might not be enough time between now and having to be back to pick up his dad from work (we have the car). I have another day off on Tuesday so I can take him swimming then all being well.

I really want to nip this in the bud; I want to be able to give him a drink by his bed without him pouring it over the floor. Talking to him obviously hasn't really had an effect, seemingly!

He is nearly 4 btw.

lucysmam Sun 20-Jul-14 13:56:46

Don't give him a drink by his bed for a while. If he asks why, because he pours it out & makes a mess. He'll just have to shout you for a (supervised) drink for a while until he realises he can't just tip it out.

I've had to shift everything that sprays out of my four yr old's reach this week (and roll on deo after she painted a window with the bloody stuff).

I'm going to give it a couple of weeks then put just what we need every day (so water spray for her hair & deo) back where they were & see if she bothers again. If she does, they go permanently out of the way until she's older.

ziggiestardust Sun 20-Jul-14 13:57:57

Shall I still take him swimming? (Treat) or leave it for another day?

He is currently cleaning up the mess in his room. I'm supervising obviously wink

gobbin Sun 20-Jul-14 13:58:08

In future I would only allow him water by his bed for a start, at least water is easier to deal with than juice.

I think the way you've handled it today is what I would have done - got to help clear up and the consequences of having to take the time to do that - perfect. And do this every time until he gets the message.

dexter73 Sun 20-Jul-14 13:59:04

I agree with lucysmam. Don't leave him with the cups and if he does want a drink he has to sit at the kitchen table to drink it. He doesn't really need a drink by his bed.

gobbin Sun 20-Jul-14 13:59:46

I would take him swimming if there's still time, he's done what you've asked and cleaned up. Tell him that next time, there may NOT be enough time to do the nice things as well, so tell him you hope there's not going to be a 'next time'.

ziggiestardust Sun 20-Jul-14 13:59:51

gobbin yes, I just allowed him to take the drink he already had, he normally would go to bed with water.

leadrightfoot Sun 20-Jul-14 14:00:43

Personally think this is exactly right, no swimming he did something wrong help to clear up, no juice unsupervised for a while

ziggiestardust Sun 20-Jul-14 14:01:44

I give him a drink in this weather because he is really sweaty grin he drenches his pillow in sweat in this weather, hence why I do it. I will probably re think.

I thought I'd foiled him by giving him a sippy cup, but he's just squeezing it to get it out hmm

Hakluyt Sun 20-Jul-14 14:02:04

Why do you want him to have a drink next to his bed?

RitaConnors Sun 20-Jul-14 14:02:11

Like gobbin, I would not let him have juice next to his bed. Water only unless he's sitting at the table. I would give him a really small amount I think.

I would take him swimming. He's a fan of playing with liquid so he might as well get it out of his system!

Hakluyt Sun 20-Jul-14 14:02:34

Sorry, xpost

ziggiestardust Sun 20-Jul-14 14:03:22

Cross post hak ^^

Yes, I'll still take him swimming if there's time, he's labouring a bit over this cleaning and sighing a lot and telling me how difficult it is grin

lucysmam Sun 20-Jul-14 14:04:03

If it was me, I'd leave swimming - clearing up the mess has taken up swimming time. You can go swimming another day & maybe do something nice at home today or half an hour at the park if you have a local one? (I'd go for something shorter than swimming but no idea if the time taken for an activity would register at this age iyswim?)

ziggiestardust Sun 20-Jul-14 14:06:43

He's just said to his bear 'I am cleaning this up to say sorry to mummy. But if I do it again, I will be in big trouble.'

I think that shows the message has got through?

You say you can take him swimming another day, so I'd leave it today to let the consequences sink in a bit.

OutragedFromLeeds Sun 20-Jul-14 14:08:49

I think you've handled it perfectly. I would stick to what you've said. If he cleans it up and there is time to swim, then take him. If there is no time, he can't go. The best way for them to learn is to experience the natural consequences of their behaviour.

ziggiestardust Sun 20-Jul-14 14:11:43

Yeah I haven't promised swimming after this, I've said we will have to see if we have time after he's finished so I won't be going back on my word or anything.

I think the problem is, the message is loud and clear right now. But in the back of my mind, I wonder if we go swimming now it looks like it doesn't really matter that much?

Coconutty Sun 20-Jul-14 14:15:34

I would say no swimming.

ziggiestardust Sun 20-Jul-14 14:35:43

Thanks for all the advice smile

I have decided to fill up his water table with water and ice cubes and he's giving his cars a bath quite merrily.

Swimming would have been a bit of a squash, and it made him stop and think a little bit because normally I would have let him fix the mistake by cleaning it up and then taken him anyway because I wanted to go.

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