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I haven't seen a weird online groceries substitution thread in at least, oooh, 2 weeks, so I give you

(170 Posts)

In today's order, instead of getting calpol I got....

...panty liners hmm. 2 packets confused

RevoltingPeasant Mon 14-Jul-14 21:16:47

More importantly, were they or were they not scented Always ones?

if so maybe it's a hint

KingJoffreysBloodshotEye Mon 14-Jul-14 21:18:06

Today I had my chocolate ecalirs substituted with a fucking Vienetta.


A few weeks back I had a pack of 12 pigs in blankets substituted with 40 cocktail sausages.


The were Allways dailies - no idea if they're scented or not as they went straight back. The delivery driver was confused and hmm too.

KingJoffrey that is criminal

KingJoffreysBloodshotEye Mon 14-Jul-14 21:31:33

KingJoffrey that is criminal.

The vienetta or the hefty pile of cocktail sausages?

I meant the Vienetta. Especially if it was mint.

They could have supplied some bacon to go with those sausages grin

ElephantsNeverForgive Mon 14-Jul-14 21:37:19

Vienetta or cocktail sausages I could cope with.

But, panty liners, pain killing properties are somewhat limited.

Perhaps you could try sticking them to your forehead?

Dirtypaws Mon 14-Jul-14 21:39:52

Bog standard condoms ordered, substitute: those extra thick ones...

Dirtypaws Mon 14-Jul-14 21:40:23

Was too embarrassed to kick up a fuss...

SanityClause Mon 14-Jul-14 21:43:26

I was recently sent focaccia bread mix instead of focaccia. I didn't realise until I was unpacking, so I didn't send it back.

It's still in the cupboard.

WeAreEternal Mon 14-Jul-14 21:44:25

A few months ago we had two nice bottles of red wine substituted for a box with 12 bottles of ribena when the driver read off the substitutions he and I both pulled the same hmm face at one another

The oddest substitution was for a strawberry short cake book (the tv character from the children's program) substituted with some strawberry shortcake flavoured alcohol.

OeufieTheEggaphant Mon 14-Jul-14 21:47:54

Last week Tesco substituted my cookies and bread from the bakery with double choc cookies and tiger loaf - I opened the substitution bag and there was the regular cookies and white loaf confused confused

PassTheCremeEggs Mon 14-Jul-14 21:53:36

Awful day, feeling furious with everyone and everything in it and this thread has unexpectedly made me weep with laughter. Thank you! LOVE the strawberry shortcake one.

lovelychops Mon 14-Jul-14 21:56:23

A Mother's Day card substituted for a 'happy birthday dad' card...

I'd love a vienetta though !

rollonthesummer Mon 14-Jul-14 21:59:51

I've had gin substituted for vodka and dog food substituted for cat food!

ENormaSnob Mon 14-Jul-14 22:03:47

Fake tan spray for factor 50 grin

KingJoffreysBloodshotEye Mon 14-Jul-14 22:04:22

A few months ago we had two nice bottles of red wine substituted for a box with 12 bottles of Ribena.

I'd like more insight into the psychology of the people who pick the substitutes.

Perhaps they could make a documentary and have them explain why panty liners are a reasonable choice of children's pain relief.

I'd watch it.

Might be interesting. We might all nod along thinking, "Yes! That makes PERFECT sense." Could bring shop assistants and shoopers closer together...

That would be nice.

Peaceloveandbiscuits Mon 14-Jul-14 22:31:39

Ahh I used to work as an Internet shopper and it is a miserable existence sad you have these little machines that tell you what to pick, and times you, and if you're not picking so many items per minute, you get reprimanded sad if something is unavailable, you press a button and it "helpfully" suggests something, usually completely ridiculous. If you've got time and/or intelligence enough to seek out a more suitable sub, you can override it, but many people just go with it so as to be at the top of the league tables.
Two stories: a lad I worked alongside had to ask me what a swede was, and at Halloween the suggested substitution for carving pumpkins was butternut squash. Ouch.

Peaceloveandbiscuits Mon 14-Jul-14 22:32:28

Oh and our shifts started at 5am.

KingJoffreysBloodshotEye Mon 14-Jul-14 22:47:30

and if you're not picking so many items per minute, you get reprimanded

Ah, that sucks.


Hassled Mon 14-Jul-14 22:51:05

PeaceLove - do you work for Sainsburys? If so - can I ask, what's with the bags? I get stuff in a crate at my front door not in a bag which could really do with being in a bag, and then a bag with one solitary red pepper in it. The bag thing baffles me. Or do the pickers not do the bagging?

I don't think I've ever typed the word bag so often.

mrsleomcgary Mon 14-Jul-14 22:57:38

Not personal experience but one I heard on a radio feature about weird substitutions.

Woman asked for super plus tampax. She recieved a king size twix. Presumably because they both start with T and end with X. Nearly crashed the car on the M8 laughing at that one'

OooOooTheMonkey Mon 14-Jul-14 23:00:33

Hassled I think that the pickers don't always get one persons order at a time they get multiple orders at once. So if they are on one persons order and they only have to pick a pepper for this person then they'd just bag it alone. They might have a pepper and tomatoes in another bag for another customer. I've explained that badly hope it makes sense smile

Marmitelover55 Mon 14-Jul-14 23:01:20

Mussels for mozzarella...

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