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Where should my 4 month old sleep until I come to bed?

(44 Posts)
FredFlintstonesSister Fri 11-Jul-14 21:55:35

Posting in chat for traffic - I really need an answer! DD is 4 months old and sleeps in a crib in my room. She used to nod off while being BF and then sleep in a Moses basket in the living room until we were ready for bed.

She is now too big for the Moses basket and so sometimes sleeps on me in the evening or else I have to go to bed super early so she can sleep in her crib.

I would like to try to get her to go to sleep a bit earlier than her current 9.30pm bedtime but this isn't practical while she either sleeps on me or I have to go to bed with her. I have tried a sling but she hated it. I have a baby monitor but so far have been too nervous to use it, even for naps. Does anyone have any suggestions? I have a Netflix subscription and I don't ever get a chance to use it!

SiennaBlake Fri 11-Jul-14 21:58:26

Would a movement monitor in the crib make you feel more confident? I had dd in the Moses basket until six months and then she was upstairs in the cot with an angelcare mat underneath.

Or would a travel cot downstairs work?

Donner Fri 11-Jul-14 21:59:26

In her crib, use the monitor. Don't go to bed with her. You need some time to yourself. She'll be fine in her crib, she'll be asleep, she won't even know you're not there.

SaggyAndLucy Fri 11-Jul-14 21:59:55

We have a lovely travel cot. its got a raised layer son you don't have to bend right in to it. It's

IamSlave Fri 11-Jul-14 22:00:42

we had ours with us too until we went to bed in moses.

take her to bed let her Bf to sleep then transfer her into her crib.

at this age this will be fine but be aware when over 6 months you may been to start sleep training

1stMrsF Fri 11-Jul-14 22:00:57

It really will be fine for her to be in her crib and to use the baby monitor. Why don't you try it for a short time to start with and see how you go? You can check on her often too. What are you worried about exactly?

TheCSLibraryPree Fri 11-Jul-14 22:01:15

I think by 4 months, if she will let you put her down after a feed, you should be getting her into the habit of going down in her crib on her own - it's not as if you'll be more than a couple of rooms away.

Use the monitor if that helps but you shouldn't have to go to bed just because she's settled and sleeping in her crib.

IamSlave Fri 11-Jul-14 22:02:02

btw we never needed baby monitor we hear everything anyway.

or get tv in your room if she is in crib in your bedroom> she will sleep through

FredFlintstonesSister Fri 11-Jul-14 22:07:23

I have an angelcare monitor but I've just been too scared to use it! We live in a flat so the bedroom is only down the hall from the living room. I'm just worried because of increased SIDS risk but really need some grown up time with DH...

BertieBotts Fri 11-Jul-14 22:10:34

I used to let DS sleep in a bouncer or on my lap.

stargirl1701 Fri 11-Jul-14 22:11:29

We took alternate nights. So DH would go to bed with DD around 7 ish and then I would take the next evening. It meant we both got time alone downstairs (in the bath grin in my case).

After DD was 6 months we put her to bed alone in our room.

FredFlintstonesSister Fri 11-Jul-14 22:18:42

She's just about outgrown her bouncer too. She's a big girl for 4 months! Quite like the travel cot suggestion but not sure if I have the space.

AnythingNotEverything Fri 11-Jul-14 22:24:15

I had a similar query and read up lots of the guidelines for SIDS and the evidence.

I found that the risk of SIDS seemed after a peak at 2-4 months, and that at four months we, like you, needed to put her to bed and were happy with the level of risk for us (we we're otherwise low risk - bf, non smokers, non drinkers etc).

Put her to bed, appropriately dressed, with a monitor so you can go to her quickly if needed.

FredFlintstonesSister Fri 11-Jul-14 22:29:18

We are also non-smokers, non-drinkers and have none of the other risk factors. I think putting her down in her crib with a monitor is the right thing for us all at this stage but it feels like a very big step. It's quite daunting. But she also doesn't sleep well through the night and I think I really need to start more of a routine generally - everything is far to free range currently... I'm hoping a more structured bedtime would help with this. Sorry, bit rambling there!

Mybigfatredwedding Fri 11-Jul-14 22:33:33

My 4 month old dd has a bottle at about 7, then hangs out with us until about 8 when she goes in her swing chair to sleep. Another dream feed at 11 and then we all go up and she sleeps in a side car cot thingy for the night.

Its exactly what we did with ds and it seems to work ok - once she is eating enough food to cut the dream feed and is in a big cot, she will go to be at the same time as DS so 7:30/8.

iamdivergent Fri 11-Jul-14 22:34:19

use a monitor. We used it from about 6wks when we put dds up for naps. helped get some adult time, and you want baby to get used to sleeping on own.

missknows Fri 11-Jul-14 22:35:39

I was very nervous about leaving baby to sleep in a room I wasn't in about the same age. Had Angel care but felt I needed to see her. Went and bought a video monitor and it's one of my favourite baby purchases. Some people would hate it but it puts my mind at ease so much.

OhTheHugeManatee Fri 11-Jul-14 22:40:37

We had a bedside cot for DD in the bedroom, so once she'd outgrown the Moses, we set up her cot in the living room and she slept there in the evening (while DH and I read, knitted, watched TV with subtitles).

We'd carry her through (usually sound asleep) when we went to bed. It meant quiet evenings for a period but in the grand scheme of things it's such a short period. She's now 9 months and it seems like another lifetime that we did this. She went into her own room at 6 months and (other than the normal disruptions for illness, teething) sleeps absolutely fine.

DH and I are quite risk averse though.

OhTheHugeManatee Fri 11-Jul-14 22:42:16

I mean we set up her big cot (that she would move to after the bedside cot) in the living room, that was ambiguous.

FredFlintstonesSister Fri 11-Jul-14 22:45:57

We definitely don't have room for the gig cot in the living room! Sounds like a good solution though.

FredFlintstonesSister Fri 11-Jul-14 22:46:16

Big, not gig!

AstonishingMouse Fri 11-Jul-14 22:57:24

Maybe just do it in gradual stages of you are worried
So maybe put her to sleep in the cot in your room, but keep her bedtime lateish for the moment and just start off with a little bit of sofa time before your bedtime
Then you can gradually shift her bedtime earlier and you can (hopefully) have a bit more time to yourselves

All my children have slept in a cot in our bedroom at night until they were at least 6 months, but I didn't interpret the SIDS guidelines so literally that I was always with them every minute they were asleep for the whole 6 months, I don't think that is practical (or desirable) for most families.

WipsGlitter Fri 11-Jul-14 22:59:47

Seriously just put her into her own bed. Watching tv with subtitles? Really?

FredFlintstonesSister Fri 11-Jul-14 23:02:38

Astonishing, I think that's really good advice. At this point, even 45mins of bad TV is all DH and I are really looking for! Gradually building up the time seems to make most sense.

OhTheHugeManatee Fri 11-Jul-14 23:03:55

Yes, really. Is it so bizarre to follow the guidelines? I don't judge those that don't follow the SIDS guidelines, maybe do me the same courtesy?

We don't watch a lot of TV anyway, subtitles aren't the end of the world.

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