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One partner drinks and the other doesn't

(26 Posts)
ConfusedAndUnwanted Fri 11-Jul-14 17:16:00

Is anyone else in a relationship with someone who doesn't appreciate a weekend drink? My DP doesn't and I am always very paranoid about getting tipsy infront of her or coming home drunk on a friday night. She says I am a funny drunk and I should make the most of my Friday evenings.


Are you tee total and your DP drinks? Does it bother you?

I am looking forward to going home and sitting in the garden with a cold beer tonight, doubt the DP will join me though lol

Mrsgrumble Fri 11-Jul-14 17:18:12

Mine doesn't. It does bother me a bit (I'm pg s not at the moment)

At weddings Etc we don't get silly together etc. he is a little serious. I joked on here th before pg I used to have sneaky one or two on my own then around nine or 'have my first'

itiswhatitiswhatitis Fri 11-Jul-14 17:21:35

I don't drink (accept on maybe a big group night out) DH has a drink every evening. I don't think anything of it tbh.

I think when we are on holiday he would like me to join him in a drink but on the upside for him he never has to worry about who is driving home.

ConfusedAndUnwanted Fri 11-Jul-14 17:22:14


She does drink on occasions, she can't drink a hell of a lot, maybe 3 ciders. Last friday she joined me and I was ready for a good old drunken evening, she had 2 and went to bed lol

msrisotto Fri 11-Jul-14 17:24:34

I'm tee total and my husband drinks although he rarely gets drunk. It doesn't bother me...It's his choice to drink and it's mine not to. It bugs me when other people feel paranoid about drinking in front of a non drinker, I have a good time when my friends are merry, I'm not boring because I don't drink, people who think that are saying more about themselves than me.

kiwidreamer Fri 11-Jul-14 17:26:18

My DH doesn't drink, doesn't bother me, would be nice to enjoy a glass of wine together sometimes but I respect his choices and extra bonus we never have to discuss who is going to be the sober driver ;) I don't feel guilty for drinking I'm an adult also and as long as im safe and drinking somewhat responsibly then its all good smile

msrisotto Fri 11-Jul-14 17:27:07

If getting drunk is your idea of a good time and not hers then either you find a way round it (do that with friends, do other things with her) or if it is that important to you, find someone you're more compatible with.

ThinkIveBeenHacked Fri 11-Jul-14 17:27:17

Well she clearly doesnt mind!

Im pg so no booze at the moment but it doesnt bother me a jot - ive got all the girls coming round tomorrow for a piss up and ill have one glass of wine and a load of apple juice (wpohoo!)

Jist have a drink!

ThinkIveBeenHacked Fri 11-Jul-14 17:27:33

Well she clearly doesnt mind!

Im pg so no booze at the moment but it doesnt bother me a jot - ive got all the girls coming round tomorrow for a piss up and ill have one glass of wine and a load of apple juice (wpohoo!)

Jist have a drink!

ThinkIveBeenHacked Fri 11-Jul-14 17:27:45


Dh doesn't drink, I enjoy it occasionally - it doesn't cause us any problems - but I'm not a big drinker. I don't see the point of getting drunk, though - I never have. I can't see the attraction.

AlleyCat11 Fri 11-Jul-14 17:30:10

I drink very little, but my fella enjoys a few pints. He works in a bar. At home, if we have a bottle of wine I'll have a glass & leave the rest to him. I don't mind at all. Most of his mates would be pub people & often say "oh, your Missus doesn't drink?". I do, but not much. Still have great fun!

beccajoh Fri 11-Jul-14 17:32:05

I'm not tee-total but I hardly ever drink. DH drinks a fair bit, not excessive, just normal amounts! It usually doesn't bother me unless his drunken snoring keeps me awake. The only time it does bother me is if we're out somewhere and it's getting late, and he's doing that drunk thing of not realising how late it is, how drunk he is, and I'm shattered and wanting to go home and he's going on about having just one more drink.

2kidsintow Fri 11-Jul-14 17:34:18

DH didn't drink for years and years (after watching his alcoholic Dad kill himself by over drinking) but I would have a drink if I wanted. I have never drunk more than one or two just for the taste of it rather than for the alcoholic content.

SmallBee Fri 11-Jul-14 17:40:34

I don't really drink very much (but of a lightweight) but my DH & his family do & find it a bit weird I don't. If anything I feel I'm the odd one for not wanting a glass of wine every evening. But I couldn't care less how much my DH drinks as long as it doesn't become problematic.

iamdivergent Fri 11-Jul-14 17:59:57

I don't drink but DH does. It doesn't bother me tbh smile though he doesn't get rat arsed which would probably annoy me

crazykat Fri 11-Jul-14 18:00:37

Dh used to drink a lot when we first got together, mostly when he was working away and it never really bothered me. I drink when its a party or night out. It would bother me now if he got smashed every Friday / Saturday night because we have young children. Him having a few drinks doesn't bother me in the least.

If she's said she doesn't mind then go for it.

wannaBe Fri 11-Jul-14 18:17:01

I don't drink. I was completely teetotal until I was about 27 then would have the very occasional (once a year maybe) archers and lemonade, and have now decided that I'm not fussed on it anyway and so think I've gone back to teetotal. (no moral issues with it I just don't like the taste plus have no tolerance threshold).

My xh drinks although not to excess, but he does enjoy a bottle of wine with dinner for example, and I think it did used to bother him a bit that we couldn't enjoy a bottle of wine together. For our tenth anniversary we went to a restaurant and had a taster menu with a diffferent wine with every course. It was completely wasted on me although the food was lovely, but we did joke that he could drink all of it. Occasionally if we went out he would ask if I was sure I didn't want a drink rather than coke but he didn't force the issue. His best friend is also teetotal though so guess he's used to having grown up with non drinkers even when he was a teenager getting smashed. MIL always said she was glad that she always knew his friend would get him home safely. grin I think he's happier now that his new dp does drink.

My now dp will have the occasional drink such as nice beer in an ale pub iyswim but again doesn't drink to excess. doesn't bother him in the slightest that I don't drink.

I don't understand why people should be bothered if someone doesn't drink. I think it says a lot more about them than the non drinker tbh. Can see why someone might have an issue with someone drinking if they did it to excess, but to have issue with someone who doesn't drink is a bit hmm

wannaBe Fri 11-Jul-14 18:19:18

fwiw I never had any issues wit any partner drinking as long as not excessively. I think a good measure of whether someone drinks too much is whether you can remember the times they were drunk as opposed to it being a regular occurrence. I can remember vividly times when xh drank too much (there were very few of them) and haven't seen dp drunk yet.

GretchenWiener Fri 11-Jul-14 18:19:56

mine doesnt at home ever, maybe if a party obv. but not' just because

PetiteBateau Fri 11-Jul-14 18:32:07

I don't drink but my partner does & it doesn't bother me. Why would it? He chooses to drink alcohol, I choose not to. No problem.

foxdongle Fri 11-Jul-14 19:08:15

I will have a couple on a night out, Dh drinks a couple every night and more on a night out.
and if we go out together in the car I always drive as I don't mind not having a drink, whereas it is more of a big deal for him.

I don't care at all, Dh doesn't get seriously drunk and do crazy things like my ex bf did- he was a nasty drunk and I wouldn't put up with another of those TYVM.

EveDallasRetd Fri 11-Jul-14 19:14:59

I rarely drink, I used to, but got out of the habit after DD came along. I'll have a drink if I'm out, but don't see the point in drinking at home. I'd rather have a coffee.

DH does drink, and drinks far too much. It used to really bother me, and caused lots of arguements, but I've stopped caring. If he wants to kill himself that's up to him. He doesn't need my permission.

Trills Fri 11-Jul-14 19:22:07

I don't think I would enjoy being in a relationship with someone who NEVER drank alcohol.

That's my problem of course, but we are allowed to be unreasonable when it comes to choosing partners.

s88 Fri 11-Jul-14 19:23:46

My dp drinks and I rarely do . doesn't bother me at all

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