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starter marriages

(33 Posts)

Ive just seen starter marriages mentioned on another thread. I thought these were made up by the media not a real thing. Does anyone actually know of people who got married knowing it would be a 'starter marriage'? If so why do it?


KingJoffreysBloodshotEye Fri 11-Jul-14 17:21:51

I think I did.

I'm not sure.

I was only 20. It's all a bit scrambled in my mind.

I definiately didn't see us growing old together.

PopcornFrenzy Fri 11-Jul-14 17:21:58

Just goggled it and seems pretty pointless to me, indeed why bother?

beccajoh Fri 11-Jul-14 17:26:11

I don't think people actually do this deliberately. I know a few people who've had what would be termed starter marriages. They got hitched young (20/21/22), the were divorced by about age 28. No kids. None of these people got married thinking it'd only be for a few years!

Thhanks kj. So did you feel it was a mistake from the start or were you perfectly happh to get married assuming it wouldnt last?
(Assuming you dont mind me asking)

Exactly becca thats what ive always assumed. That they may not have lasted long but the intention at the beginning was for life. But the other thread implied that true starter marriages are where you never intend it to be for life.

TinklyLittleLaugh Fri 11-Jul-14 17:28:00

Interesting. I had a starter Shacking Up for five years, (as opposed to my current Shacking Up for 23 years). I am not the marrying kind anyway.

deerkitty Fri 11-Jul-14 17:29:52

I did married at 22 divorced by 28. No idea why I did it. Fit caught up in the whole idea of it. After six months knew I had made a massive mistake but bumbled along for a few more years. We had one dc together. The only redemption from it but a mistake in a lot of ways as we cannot be civil to each other at all.

KingJoffreysBloodshotEye Fri 11-Jul-14 17:30:23

I knew when getting married that we weren't 'in love'. If anything he hated me.

I'd been through a rape and just wanted someone to look after me and I'm pretty sure he married me because my parents are quite well off and he had debts to pay.

sad sorry that happwned to you

FidelineAndBombazine Fri 11-Jul-14 17:34:06

Only for the dim and the shallow.

Like starter engagement rings.

KingJoffreysBloodshotEye Fri 11-Jul-14 17:34:37

Don't be.

It toughened me up.


FruVikingessOla Fri 11-Jul-14 17:36:27

I'm one of the ones that got a bit heated on that thread about 'starter marriages' and 'entry-level relationships' blush grin

I've never heard of either before confused

Thumbwitch Fri 11-Jul-14 17:36:30

I knew someone who did - big expensive wedding, cost her Dad an arm and a leg, he hadn't finished paying it off before the marriage was over (within a year) because she started an affair with someone at work. Someone she had met before she got married.
Mind you, no.2 was The One, they're still together many years and DC later so I guess no. 1 was just a youthful mistake. Maybe.

KingJoffrey, that's awful! sad

FidelineAndBombazine Fri 11-Jul-14 17:37:06

Ah Joffrey that sounds horrible. Not a cynical 'this is my starter marriage' situation at all.

TobyLerone Fri 11-Jul-14 17:37:37

Only for the dim and the shallow.

Or the 'very young and bullied into it' hmm

FidelineAndBombazine Fri 11-Jul-14 17:39:05

The young and bullied into wouldn't be brightly trilling about starter marriages as they did so though would they Toby?

scottishmummy Fri 11-Jul-14 17:39:54

Aye,i know a few starter marriages.shouldn't have married
Met,married divorced within 3years.imo,impulsive,immature,unrealistic expectations
Naturally came unstuck as theyd not done the groundwork of the big conversation eg work,babies,finances,expectation of each other

TinklyLittleLaugh Fri 11-Jul-14 17:41:20

What on earth is an "entry level relationship"?

TobyLerone Fri 11-Jul-14 17:41:54

By the definition of 'starter marriage' I suppose I had one. I'm happy to admit that's what it was. I'm not 'brightly trilling' about it, but I'm also not ashamed of it.

I don't think calling people dim and shallow is necessary or necessarily accurate is all.

JohnFarleysRuskin Fri 11-Jul-14 17:42:15

It's kind of 'in hindsight' thing isn't it?

It just means you were too young and put a happy face on it by pretending it was a thing.

TobyLerone Fri 11-Jul-14 17:42:51

Exactly what John said.

littleSpud Fri 11-Jul-14 17:42:53

Lol at "starter marriage" ...I guess I had one, married at 25 to someone completely wrong for me. Had been with him since I was 18 and thought if I left him I'd end up on the shelf confused

Lasted less than a year but I do have an 8 year old ds with him. I remarried at 31 (for the right reasons this time!) and got 2 more dc

JohnFarleysRuskin Fri 11-Jul-14 17:43:33

I wouldn't call mine a starter marriage- it makes it sound like I went somewhere interesting after!

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