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When your dc start high school, if you work, where do they go after school?

(40 Posts)
MotleyCroup Fri 11-Jul-14 16:02:18

This is a few years off yet for me but just that really.

Do you have family they go to? Do they go to after school club or are they mature enough to walk home and let themselves into your house spending a few hours home alone <shudder>

I don't know why I'm thinking about this yet (curious and nosey) as DS is only in Y2 but I can't yet imagine giving him a key to the house and trusting him from 3:30-5:30 - can imagine carnage on my return hmm

frozencanmelt Fri 11-Jul-14 16:04:56

Home. I don't know any teenager who goes to aftercare! (or perhaps none who admit to it!)

If your DC are younger it is hard to imagine, but they grow up soon. Usually by the time they factor in the commute, they don't actually get in much before their parents.

moomoo1967 Fri 11-Jul-14 16:05:52

When DD started in Yr 7 she still went to the After School club she went to from primary school. Then the following Easter it was no longer feasible. She goes to a different Sports After school club at Secondary school every day, they also do other clubs too. So on the 3 days a week I work she gets home about an hour before me. Leading up to the end of Year 6 I started leaving her for the odd hour, to go grocery shopping etc to get her used to being in the house on her own. Obviously this only works if the child is confident enough to be left and mature enough to know what to do if there was an emergency

MotleyCroup Fri 11-Jul-14 16:10:38

I can't yet imagine leaving DS and I'm sure during his first year he'll possibly go to an after school club of some sort. I can't imagine trusting him with a key to the house yet! Gulp!

katrina81 Fri 11-Jul-14 16:13:28

My DD lets herself in. Don't worry they soon change between y2 and y6.

Artandco Fri 11-Jul-14 16:16:00

I think home. If your home by 5.30pm that's still very early.

Like others said by the time they walk/ bus home that passes a fair amount of time anyway.

I would just be kind and leave some homemade brownies, and tell them to either start homework or find an activity before you get home hour or so later.

My eldest is only 4 though but I would trust him already and do not to trash the place if in a different room so would hope in 7 years he will be ok for an hr or so

PeppermintInfusion Fri 11-Jul-14 16:21:16

Encourage them to join plenty of after school activities so they're home later or they could stay in the school library and do their homework if you don't want them heading straight home.

losersaywhat Fri 11-Jul-14 16:22:18

Around here the kids all get doorkey and go home after school once they start highschool. The can only think of a couple of children who are 12 or older that go to Childminders or relatives and all but one of them has additional needs. Sorry I just couldnt think of the right way to word that last sentence.

frozencanmelt Fri 11-Jul-14 16:22:19

There are no after school clubs 5 days a week here which cater for teenagers.

It is hard to imagine but honestly, he'll be fine with a key.

You can start building up independence in other ways now- can he go into a shop confidently by himself?

moogalicious Fri 11-Jul-14 16:29:00

Another one for home. I started leaving her at home alone for very brief periods when she was 8 or 9, then let her go to the corner shop on her own, then let her walk home alone and let herself in with a key when I was there when she was in Y6. I'm now quite happy for her to be at home for a few hours while I go out.

As other posters have said, build it up gradually. My Y6 dc is a lot more grown up than my Y2 dc!

Ohanarama Fri 11-Jul-14 16:30:00

Our school leaves the library and computer room open with a member of staff for a couple of hours after school so children can stay behind for a while and do homework in a safe place.

Depends where you live, our planned secondary school for DS finishes at 3 and most of them live within a mile or so, there are always a lot around by 3.15 or so, so the commute won't help us. I'm a bit worried about this too.

VivaLeBeaver Fri 11-Jul-14 16:37:36

Latchkey kid here. Its been fine.

MotleyCroup Fri 11-Jul-14 16:38:24

The library it is then grin

No, I'm sure by the times he's 11 I will feel a whole lot differently.

It's just so hard to imagine atm.

Stripyhoglets Fri 11-Jul-14 16:38:43

to grandparent for tea or home. home on his own more often now. neighbours are in place if he needs anything. He sometimes goes to friends. There are clubs after school but he doesn't really go to them.

Stripyhoglets Fri 11-Jul-14 16:39:00

to grandparent for tea or home. home on his own more often now. neighbours are in place if he needs anything. He sometimes goes to friends. There are clubs after school but he doesn't really go to them.

MotleyCroup Fri 11-Jul-14 16:39:57

I can just imagine coming home to find carnage, lots of other kids and an empty fridge grin

MotleyCroup Fri 11-Jul-14 16:41:41

The High School DS will possibly be going to is ten minutes by foot, so not much time to waste via the commute.

It is true about the building up though, my DS (Yr 5) is allowed to be home alone for 1.5 hours while I take DD to balley but I can be home in 5 mins from there whereas work is 10 miles away.

frozencanmelt Fri 11-Jul-14 16:46:41

By the time he is going to high school, he won't need any help to empty the teenage boys are bottomless pits grin

You are also underestimating the amount of time wasting they can get up to, they are quite toddler-like in that regard!

Delphiniumsblue Fri 11-Jul-14 16:49:03

Home- there are no after school clubs at that age in my area.
You need to start building up to it earlier.

martini Fri 11-Jul-14 16:56:13

DS can stay in school library to do homework until 4.30. Then comes home. I'm usually home at 4 anyway, but even if he leaves school and comes straight home it still takes him half an hour to do a 10 minute walk as he has to muck about with friends on way.

I'd be happy to leave him on own in house now as he'd probably just play on Xbox or watch TV.

What I don't like doing is leaving him to be the last person to leave in the morning as there's no guarantee he'd remember to lock up.

MotleyCroup Fri 11-Jul-14 17:01:54

Might look at building up at the end of Primary. Problem is I have to drive him to his current Primary, so can't do a trial walk to and from on my days off. I work 30 miles away so not easy to 'pop' back to check.

AnyFucker Fri 11-Jul-14 17:05:22


OP, don't worry. They evolve a lot around years 5 and 6, I promise

I thought it would never happen, I promise

My youngest is 14 now and God I thought he would never grow up and be a bit responsible for door keys, not burning the house down etc but he did

Delphiniumsblue Fri 11-Jul-14 17:05:28

Mine got the school bus so there was no option of staying in school.

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