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How to stay sane when you have a teenager?

(13 Posts)
CeliaFate Fri 11-Jul-14 07:45:10

Dd is nearly 14 and is a wily old fox. She's a good kid, but if she can get away with it, she will. I'm talking about not doing chores, going on the internet when she's been told no, eating chocolate in her room when she knows it's banned (pale carpet!), spending all her money then asking for an advance, not texting me to say she's arrived somewhere, then her phone suddenly "loses charge" hmm - nothing hideous, but annoying.

So what do you do to keep sane? I've got wine and chocolate on permanent supply.

Shia Fri 11-Jul-14 07:50:09

Ask your parents to recall your antics when you were that age!

Shouldwego Fri 11-Jul-14 07:52:12

Don't know but looking for tips after battling with my 13yo this morning who doesn't want to go to school!

Marylou62 Fri 11-Jul-14 07:59:21

Do not argue!!! Tell them what you want....tell them not be sucked in to a conversation....tell them a broken record.....let some things go... Take internet away? Laptop? Say NO to advance....just NO! Again don't argue...dont get sucked in....'I only want a ....You're mean' NO!!

TheFirstOfHerName Fri 11-Jul-14 08:19:11

It's wearing, isn't it?

Try not to take any of it personally.
Set up natural consequences and stick to them as much as you can.
Choose your battles.
Don't let them lure you into a debate.

Mrsjayy Fri 11-Jul-14 08:26:30

Wine grin you really need to not sweat small annoying stuff tell them what you want dont negociate plead or bribe, you need to give instruction their brains are like fuzz hormones are raging , with the phone thing id make a big hooha of is it charged let me see take it off silent, I didnt take any cheek id say things like did I speak to you like that etc makes them pause and think saying all that we cant expect them to be perfect and they do slip up , but boundries consistency and patience is the key its not easy though

Shia Fri 11-Jul-14 08:28:44

If it's a battle in her room, you can buy those litter picking sticks that saves you bending over, for 99p in home bargains.

My daughter will pick things up using one of those!

CeliaFate Fri 11-Jul-14 08:39:53

Oh Lord, her room is a pit. She leaves drawers and doors open, rubbish on the floor 2 m away from the bin, dirty clothes on the floor near her laundry basket, hair styling products and bobbles and clips all over her dressing table. I'm sure I wasn't that untidy I totally was.
I am not going in there today!

Mrsjayy Fri 11-Jul-14 08:47:18

I dontvthink ive been in my dds room in 5 years I closed the door one day vowing never to return

littlewhitebag Fri 11-Jul-14 09:00:27

Love teenagers, I really do. But they can be so infuriating. Then just as you are about to erupt in fury they say something funny or do something lovely and you just have to smile.

I would say to choose your battles. Let the things that don't matter much but stick to your guns about the important ones. I would say that making sure they are safe is the most important.

Disagreements about chores, money etc are very normal. Go for no money until chores completed. It tends to keep them focused?

PuddleglumtheMarshWiggle Fri 11-Jul-14 09:23:27

Wise advice from the Amish

"Love them and keep your mouth shut"

They allow teenagers their "running around years" after which they have to decide between the Amish community and abiding y all their laws or leaving it for good. Most of them choose to stay.

We're getting to late teenage stage now and things are getting better!

LuisSuarezTeeth Fri 11-Jul-14 09:32:32

Sounds like a doddle compared to my DS grin

But anyway, strategies:

1. Do not enter her room until she is 35.
2. Be aware that everything you ever lost will be on her bedroom floor.
3. Wine.
4. Cake.
5. Vodka.
6. Cake.
7. Wine.

MajesticWhine Fri 11-Jul-14 09:42:49

Reading with interest. A lot of these problems with my 12yo. Especially the disgusting room and spending all her money and then needing more.
We have a cleaner who ventures into the room from time to time and cleans it. And I sometimes go in and grab the dirty laundry. But that obviously isn't helping DD deal with the consequences of her own filth. Should I put a stop to the cleaner going in? I just can't bear the state of the room like that.

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