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I hate myself

(59 Posts)
LEMmingaround Thu 10-Jul-14 16:38:22

I shouldn't be a mother

Pagwatch Thu 10-Jul-14 16:40:14

Oh goodness - what is wrong ?

aturtlenamedmack Thu 10-Jul-14 16:40:29

You're not doing as badly as you think - posting here for support is a good start.
What's happened to make you feel this way?

stillenacht1 Thu 10-Jul-14 16:40:55

Are you ok? What's happened?

LEMmingaround Thu 10-Jul-14 16:41:13

I can't say
Im so ashamed

LEMmingaround Thu 10-Jul-14 16:42:28

Im not looking for sympathy

Fairylea Thu 10-Jul-14 16:42:40

What's happened? We all have off days. Whatever it is I'm sure talking about it would help.

This is annonymous - you can share what ever you want.
Are you a single mother?
How many children?
Talk to us.
Everyone is here to help and support, not judge!

Bassetfeet Thu 10-Jul-14 16:43:08

LEM ....you are so not a bad mum . What's up ? Talk to us .

Whatever it is, the guilt shows you are NOT a bad person.

Pagwatch Thu 10-Jul-14 16:45:30

Oh darling.
It is so unlikely to be as bad as you think - we tend to judge ourselves so harshly.
The people who really do bad shit make excuses.

FruVikingessOla Thu 10-Jul-14 16:45:34

LEM, you always seem so lovely. Seriously, you can't have done anything dreadfully awful.

LEMmingaround Thu 10-Jul-14 16:45:42

Horrible shouty mum

LEMmingaround Thu 10-Jul-14 16:46:10

I told dd I hated her

Scousadelic Thu 10-Jul-14 16:48:38

We have all had days when we have been crap, just view it as your timeslot on a worldwide rota then move on. I have done my share of shouting but they are now 26 and 23 and both of them still speak to me.

Don't beat yourself up over it thanks

fatlazymummy Thu 10-Jul-14 16:48:45

Lem how old is your daughter?

Shia Thu 10-Jul-14 16:49:34

We are human. As mothers we often are tired and sometimes it feels like we never have time for ourselves. We sometimes snap, shout or smack when we are overwhelmed.

If you feel you have done something to harm your child, the chances are that is not as serious as you think it is.

Children have tantrums and are violent and aggressive, they understand that sometimes they can push you to far. They love you and will forgive you if you have momentarily lost your temper. Take steps to avoid it happening again. Ask for help and support if need be.

If it's not something physical and you feel you have let your child or children by finances or time then this is something most parents feel at some point. We would all love to buy a pony or all of the latest gadgets but we are not failing if we can't.

Whatever has made you feel like a bad mother, I can assure you that most of us have felt the same way at some point.

Pancakeflipper Thu 10-Jul-14 16:51:12

LEM, we all do stuff as parents that's totally wrong. There's usually a good reason behind it (worrying about something else ?)

I was only berating myself earlier for giving my DS1 who is a lovely child an absolute roaring at due to something pathetic (but it felt immense at the time cos I was worrying over something else). Totally unlike me and I ashamed of myself. I let myself down.

You can apologise. You can talk it through and say you were wrong and say you will improve things.

I hope tomorrow it feels fixable for you.

aturtlenamedmack Thu 10-Jul-14 16:51:41

It isn't the end of the world, you've had a shitty day and said a shitty thing. You can move on now.
What happened to trigger it? Is there something that you're struggling with?

Pagwatch Thu 10-Jul-14 16:51:56

Oh dear lord. I have a badge for being the snouty mum.
I don't do it now after having a few days like the one you are having.
But goodness I did it...
I'm not horrible. I was tired and wrung out.
We are none of us perfect.

Shia Thu 10-Jul-14 16:53:06

You shouted. Ok. I expect your child will go through life and experience more shouting at some point!

You let off steam and in an ideal world we would all never yell or shout.

We don't live in an ideal world!

It's ok. Depending on the age of your child you can sit down and talk it over and say why you shouted and how you wish you hadn't but sometimes you feel tired and have lots to do.

LEMmingaround Thu 10-Jul-14 16:53:32

She only 8 poor thing

MTWTFSS Thu 10-Jul-14 16:54:10

Stop thinking of what you have done. That is in the past. Focus 100% on what you can do next!!!

MTWTFSS Thu 10-Jul-14 16:55:09

Sit the 8 year old down and be honest! Explain what you did was wrong but you are only human and you are sorry. She will forgive you!

Pancakeflipper Thu 10-Jul-14 16:56:13

Do you hate her ?

No you don't.

So go and tell her and show her you don't.

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