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Baby showers are grabby, right?

(57 Posts)
CundtBake Wed 09-Jul-14 18:29:14

I didn't have one when I was pregnant with DS. It's not something that ever occurred to me. My family have never done it and I was the first among my friends to get pregnant.

Is it the done thing now?

An acquaintance of mine is on her second pregnancy and I've just received an invite. I'm not going to lie I'm a bit judgy about it. Especially since the invite says 'yes we love presents by the way'.

But in general the whole idea of a baby shower seems grabby to me. You don't seem to actually do anything apart from give presents? She's stated that people should bring their own food and drink so it's not even like she's throwing a party in return!

I barely speak to this women and have said about two words to her since her first baby shower so I assume I'm only being invited in the hope I will bring a good gift.

Does everyone have them now?

AnyoneForTennis Wed 09-Jul-14 18:30:58

That's ridiculously grabby! Yuk

AnyoneForTennis Wed 09-Jul-14 18:31:30

Gift for mum or baby or both?

erin99 Wed 09-Jul-14 18:32:00


Lucky29 Wed 09-Jul-14 18:32:10

I had a baby shower thrown for me by friends and family, would never have organised one for myself. They provided loads of food and drinks and did some fun games, i felt a bit embarrased about how generous people were but overall it was close friends and family so I don't think they minded. I definitely don't want one for a second or any other babies. I thought it was more of a first baby thing.

Theresadogonyourballs Wed 09-Jul-14 18:32:13

Yes, they are grabby, but, more importantly, it's the absolute height of bad manners to throw one for yourself - they are meant to be thrown for you by a sister/mum/best mate!

calzone Wed 09-Jul-14 18:32:25

I loathe them!

CundtBake Wed 09-Jul-14 18:33:16

I thought you only had one for the first baby too. Even in America where I assume this craze started

miffybun73 Wed 09-Jul-14 18:33:33

You're right, greedy and ridiculous.

Olbas Wed 09-Jul-14 18:35:31

Give her pile cream. The thought of these baby showers makes me shudder!. Lovely if your work mates have a whip round and buy you something but to actually ask people to give you things is beyond rude.

GenerationX2 Wed 09-Jul-14 18:37:20

I think its grabby when its not your first baby, the point was to help new parents get some of the stuff they might need.

grumblepuss Wed 09-Jul-14 18:38:50

I've only been to one. It was afternoon tea with cake and cooing at my friends bump.
We all bought a small gift.
It was a nice afternoon.

But grabby people who expect to be showered with gifts and make you bring cupcakes. Less cool! Also second child?? Pffft its a first baby thing.

usualsuspectt Wed 09-Jul-14 18:39:28

I think they are quite nice.

I've always really enjoyed the ones I've been too.

Arranging yourself a 'party' for the sole reason of getting people to buy all your baby stuff for you is stupid.

And if there is also a gender reveal cake... <eye roll>

MonkeyDLuffy Wed 09-Jul-14 18:39:55

I really dislike them. Grabby and generate a load of drama.

BackforGood Wed 09-Jul-14 18:41:08

Agree with the 'yuks'.
How rude this woman must be ! shock

usualsuspectt Wed 09-Jul-14 18:42:03

Although I've only been to family ones. I don't think I'd go to one for someone I didn't know well.

I live somewhere where it is the norm. Yes it is terribly grabby. A friend here told me, your friends basically fund the first 6mths of the baby, because you know, you're having a baby and your life is over. The gift lists I've seen are outrageous, everything from cots to prams and car seats on them. Another friend was disappointed as wealthy friends didn't buy her baby a Burberry outfit like they'd bought all the others that were having babies at the same time. I went to a few of close friends, then when they had second babies, politely declined.

I bought something small when the babies had arrived safe and sound naturally. and showed them all up, as none of them even gave us a card

usualsuspectt Wed 09-Jul-14 18:43:02

You bunch of miserys. It's only a bit of fun.

grumblepuss Wed 09-Jul-14 18:44:15

If its your best friend, the first baby in the group of friends and everyone is excited.
Then its a totally different event to one where its a third child, everyone else has five year olds and there is a gift list

CroydonFacelift Wed 09-Jul-14 18:44:27

I dont think they're grabby for first babies. The ones I have been to have been joyous celebrations. A king of 'welcome to motherhood' party.

I organised one for my best friend, who was expecting her first after years of fertility problems, and it was lovely. Afternoon tea and chat and some gifts.

Second and subsequent babes is pushing it a bit, imo.

Also, like with weddings and hen parties, ridiculous gift lists and organising expensive activities that people have to fork out for is grabby.

CroydonFacelift Wed 09-Jul-14 18:44:50

*kind of

CundtBake Wed 09-Jul-14 18:46:13

Oh yes her first baby shower did have a gift list but this time it's just made clear that a gift is required grin

ElizabethLemon Wed 09-Jul-14 18:46:50

'yes we love presents by the way'. <vom>

usual the ones I've been to have been deathly dull! A small bit of chat, suprise here's the mum, a bit to eat, then she sits down and opens fifty presents while we all look on. She has to summon up the enthusiasm for each gift with a friend making notes for the thankyou cards. Dull, dull, dull! Ugh.

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