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If you were the mum

(129 Posts)
SweetPeaPods Wed 09-Jul-14 11:43:35

In sainsburys this morning with a little boy in the trolley, who walked a past another mum in the baby aisle who was picking up a couple of jars/pouches of baby food and casually mentioned to your ds 'oh we're not buying any of this Henry, it's full of sugar' then I would just like to say well done, because you have successfully made that other mum cry for the next hour. I now feel like an even shitter mum, and it's all down to you...

YaMasYaDaWithAWigOn Wed 09-Jul-14 11:46:10

Sorry she made you feel shit, just shrug it off. I'm sure you're doing a grand job. Nothing wrong with jars/pouches. My lot had them and they're doing fine (so far!) at 10, 4 and 3.

Cookiepants Wed 09-Jul-14 11:46:24

I wouldn't let it have head space. Little people say things like that to make them feel big. Everybody does the best they can for their child in a different way. My DS is currently refusing all food but yoghurt grin

YaMasYaDaWithAWigOn Wed 09-Jul-14 11:46:32

I should point out they don't still have the jars now though grin

upyourninja Wed 09-Jul-14 11:46:56

Um. Sorry you're feeling rubbish and low - have you spoken to a professional about it?

However, you're a parent. People will always have different opinions and even feel strongly about them. Make your choices and stand by them - you know what's best for your child and your family.

NorwaySpruce Wed 09-Jul-14 11:47:13

If you are happy with the choices you make, nothing anyone else says should upset you.

If you are crying for an hour about anything other than stuff like bereavement/being made homeless/terminal illness, then perhaps you have issues you need to resolve.

Don't go blaming random passers by with admittedly slightly outspoken views.

grocklebox Wed 09-Jul-14 11:49:21

Thats a huge over-reaction. And she can say what she wants, really.

neffi Wed 09-Jul-14 11:50:15

You really need to not let some random person in the supermarket upset you. Millions of children have been fed baby food from jars to no ill effect. Was this the straw the broke the camels back? What else is making you feel so shit?

However, if you want to make changes to how you feed your baby then I'm sure there's plenty of advice to be had here. Mines old enough now that I've mainly forgotten the baby food days but I do remember the little darling hated my lovingly made purées and always preferred something from a jar.

Chin up, you're the best mum to your baby, don't let some random idiot get you down!

Oldraver Wed 09-Jul-14 11:50:21

She was being a cow, but you cant blame others for your oversensitivity

OriginofSymmetry Wed 09-Jul-14 11:50:56

Well she was a smug arsehole. Don't let it get you down. What a hideously rude thing to do! Both of mine had jars/pouches too.

Gileswithachainsaw Wed 09-Jul-14 11:51:23

Sorry yor so upset, but whys it her fault?

If your happy with your decisions then carry on as you are. Some people use jars some don't. If your happy using them then fine. She was a bit dramatic and unnecessarily performance parenting but ultimately there must be other things going on if that upset you so much.

Please get a friend round or take some time to rest, whatever you need to help you feel a bit better. thanks

Cookiepants Wed 09-Jul-14 11:53:51

Norway, that ladies comment was designed to upset/ belittle OP. If her DS was of an age to be eating that food I presume he doesn't understand what she's saying...... If I wandered round "chatting" to my DS "oh mummy would NEVER go out dressed like that" and "Aren't you glad I breast feed you instead of buying nasty formula" (stood next to someone with a can of formula in their hands) it would be said to wound and nothing more. If you can't keep your unasked for opinions to yourself maybe its those people with the problem not OP.

OP if you are struggling please seek help. Parenthood can feel thankless at times and if you need some support that's fine.

Adikia Wed 09-Jul-14 11:53:54

Aw SweetPea, just ignore people like that, you are not a shit mum for buying baby food. Is there something else wrong? it sounds like you are having a pretty rough time to be that upset by 1 stuck up cows comment (before anyone jumps on that, shes a stuck up cow for feeling it necessary to make the comment, not for her choice of food)

brdgrl Wed 09-Jul-14 11:55:19

Maybe she wasn't even being smug or performance parenting, but just talking to her kid. Are you really sure she was directing her comment at you? Or are you possibly a bit low and not being entirely reasonable? Are you OK?

TeWiSavesTheDay Wed 09-Jul-14 11:55:36

Some people are just obnoxious (some of those people are also on MN, sadly)

Jars/pouches are a tiny part of your life as a parent, try not to focus on it too much. How old is your baby?

brdgrl Wed 09-Jul-14 11:56:46

Cookiepants, I can imagine that I might have said something similar to my DD at some point, without really being focused on whether anyone else was listening.

HavantGuard Wed 09-Jul-14 11:57:55

(( Hugs ))

PS I hope Henry fires his organic quinoa at the cat

brdgrl Wed 09-Jul-14 11:58:31

(and yes, I did use jars, but I also sometimes make up and/or offer real reasons not to buy things DD wants. "Too much sugar" is a pretty common one, as she knows what that means.)

gutted2014 Wed 09-Jul-14 11:59:09


I have also been in tears today because of somebody's thoughtless comment, so I understand.

I'm sure you are doing the best job you can, and the odd pouch or jar of baby food won't hurt at all. We don't all have the time to make every meal fresh & these things are very handy when out & about so don't worry about it at all.

Wobblebeans Wed 09-Jul-14 11:59:51

Tbh I think it says more about her than it says about you, there really was no need to make a comment like that.
DD1 had jars, DD2 didn't, they're both happy and healthy, it really makes no odds and you shouldn't let one foul comment upset you like that smile

Floggingmolly Wed 09-Jul-14 11:59:58

She was obviously feeling just as insecure as you are (and nasty with it); why else would you feel the need to rub someone else's nose in the fact that you've made a different choice?
Btw, I used jars exclusively for my first, because I had undiagnosed PND and I didn't trust my own food to be "safe" for her, I reasoned that because everything in a jar or can is sterile I didn't need to worry if my saucepans weren't...
For the next two I'd gotten over that nonsense, but still used jars occasionally purely for convenience.

Plonkysaurus Wed 09-Jul-14 12:00:33

OP move on and ignore. It's hard though, isn't it? You have an obligation to feed your baby, not to be a sneery cow about the choices other parents make. I love cooking and frequently used jars and pouches anyway - there's nothing wrong with them.

Why are people accusing the OP of being over sensitive? Everyone has shit days where the slightest comment can throw off the rest of the day - I know I did, pretty much for the whole of DS's first year. I wasn't quite convinced I was up to scratch as a mother and comments like this really made me doubt myself. Can everyone just back off?

HavanaSlife Wed 09-Jul-14 12:02:27

Did Henry want some? If not then why the fuck would someone say something like that unless they were being a bit of a dick.

MTWTFSS Wed 09-Jul-14 12:03:13

I'm sorry the comment the other lady said upset you! Having a shitty day sucks sad Please try and focus on doing something enjoyable this afternoon and turn that frown upside-down! smile

MILLYmo0se Wed 09-Jul-14 12:04:23

Oh dear, I'd regularly say that to DD when we hit the Juice aisle to forestall the whinge that I'd know is likely to start. Wouldn't even occur to me that anyone else was listening, much less that they'd take it too heart or as a slight on their parenting skills. Equally if someone said something similar to their child as I put frozen potato waffles in my trolley I don't think I'd even register it, even if they did say it in a judgey tone .
Poor you OP, have a cuppa and try not to dwell on others so much. Are you ok generally, is there other stuff on your mind or did she just catch you in a crappy moment ?

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