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Am I overreacting? (school related)

(62 Posts)
Osmiornica Tue 08-Jul-14 09:11:48

School sports day/event and they have decided that not all the children can take part (no idea why). Those that aren't part wear school uniform and the others house colours. I assumed there would be equal numbers thereabouts but it turns out to only be about 4 out of 30+ who are not taking part in my child's class.

I've also found out that the way they picked them was by voting so a popularity contest leaving out the 4 unliked ones (of which my child is one of them).

She's had such an awful time trying to fit in to this new school that this just doesn't help.

I'm about to write a letter but am I overreacting? Should I just ignore it?

Crutchlow35 Tue 08-Jul-14 09:15:18

Leaving 4 is outrageous and voting based on popularity in my opinion is a form of bullying. Definitely speak to school about it.

If not all could do it for whatever reason then names in a hat to be drawn fairly.

What a cruel way to do it.

Jumpingjuly Tue 08-Jul-14 09:17:04

Absolutely not over reacting . Terrible thing to do . My heart goes out to your DD What is the rationale behind this? never mind letter I would be banging down the headmaster office wanting to know what's going on and how they can justify this

Osmiornica Tue 08-Jul-14 09:21:18

I was worried I was overreacting because this is the exact same thing they used to do in our school back in the 70s. I had hoped they'd stopped by now. Surely if they didn't have enough spaces they could have taken names out of a hat. I was sorely tempted to take her out of school today tbh. I have a crap memory but I still remember how awful that made me feel (I was the one left out all the time as well).

ElephantsNeverForgive Tue 08-Jul-14 09:24:14

Yes, kick up a mega stink. If he refuses to budge, I think my DD would be ill on sports day.

Also do you know the other parents of the left out DCs and/or any nice ones amongst the included children.

Several people telling HTs they are being unreasonable is always better than just one.

TweeAintMee Tue 08-Jul-14 09:24:32

I would not assume that your child has reported the full facts - I'd check the story with the C/T first and if it is true then ask to have 5 mins with the H/T. If you get no joy, write a letter to the Chair of Govs.

Teardropsonthedancefloor Tue 08-Jul-14 09:25:21

That's absolutely appalling!!!

I would go in to the school and ask exactly how 4 children became to be excluded from sports day and ask in what way the selection process was handled.

If it's clear they have 'voted' out your dd, I would ask them how they intend to help your dd's self esteem after such a vote?

I'm livid on your behalf. Cruel. Cruel. Cruel.

steppemum Tue 08-Jul-14 09:25:39

that is totally out of order.

selection by popularity contest is totally out of order

It should be half ish participating if they select. But I find the selection itself pretty off.

Why can't each child run one or two races?

spiderlight Tue 08-Jul-14 09:27:20

That is absolutely outrageous and I would not let it lie. Your poor daughter sad

NanFlanders Tue 08-Jul-14 09:27:50

I think I would double check with the class teacher how the kids were selected - just in case dd has got hold of the wrong end of the stick. And if she's right, I'd be livid!!

CateBlanket Tue 08-Jul-14 09:33:13

I seriously think your DD has got the wrong end of the stick hmm

NoTeaForMe Tue 08-Jul-14 09:34:55

If this is true it's outrageous. However, I would check all your facts before going steaming in, children have been known to get things wrong.

Osmiornica Tue 08-Jul-14 09:49:25

It was definitely only a handful as I went into the school yard and could see as it was obvious who was wearing school uniform and who wasn't (another thing that makes then stand out as unpopular - couldn't they have all worn the same?)

I don't think mine would be in school that day and I'd let them know why in no uncertain terms. Disgusting behavior.

Adikia Tue 08-Jul-14 10:10:37

Double check how it worked first, are you sure they didn't ask who wanted to do each event and then vote for who would represent the class in each one? if its only a handful of children maybe they just didn't volunteer for anything so weren't voted in? That's how a lot of the bigger schools round here do it.

Or could the teacher have left her out because she was trying to be nice and didn't think those 4 wanted to do it? I spent years trying to convince my teachers I'd be better helping give drinks out/cheering people on/doing anything that didn't involve actually doing sports but it never worked.

Personally i hated sports day and think however its done is going to damage someones self esteem, either by a child not being included or by a child being forced to do sports day when they actually really hate it, I know they can't get rid of sports day as some children really love it (like DS) but it really does cause more upset than its worth.

SetPhasersTaeMalkie Tue 08-Jul-14 10:15:17

Sounds absolutely appalling. I would certainly be contacting the school to find out more.

Osmiornica Tue 08-Jul-14 10:26:06

If that's the case Adikia, then it doesn't sound quite so bad. I'm going to ask when I pick here up later. She didn't want to go in today because she was going to be 'the only one not doing anything'. I told her not to be so silly and she wouldn't be the only one - well, she wasn't but she was definitely in the minority.

Osmiornica Tue 08-Jul-14 16:05:42

Spoken to the school and yes, the children would put their hands up if they wanted to join a particular sport and one of the children would pick the ones they wanted on the team - just like pe in the 70s and 80s.

Osmiornica Tue 08-Jul-14 19:41:49

Is that as bad as I'm not sure they still do this in PE?

VitoCorleone Tue 08-Jul-14 19:42:57

Jesus wept, I'd be kicking off big time

is this primary or high school .I know high school its often done by a vote or by those that are better at sports but it hurts and they should been least allowed to wear non uniform

but if primary its disgusting my ds3 took part and ha sphysical disablitys and struggled but his team was lovely about it and lots of cheating to help him went on

Osmiornica Tue 08-Jul-14 20:01:41

This was primary. I don't know yet if it was all the classes but mine's in year 3 so age 7-8.

Most of the sports were things they'd never done before so it couldn't have been picking the ones who are better - just the ones the 'pickers' liked.

I know it's going to sound like I'm upset that she wasn't picked but it isn't that - it's the way it was done and the fact that they should have had either all of them doing it (and swapping them round if the numbers were out) or maybe just half.

flumperoo Tue 08-Jul-14 20:02:40

Did your dd want to take part?

TheFirstOfHerName Tue 08-Jul-14 20:03:34

This happened to DS2 last week. For events (100m etc) the competitors were chosen by heats. For others (discus etc) the competitors were chosen by the athletics captain (a child in his form). DS2 was the only child in his form not competing and had to wear uniform (including tie and blazer) on one of the hottest days of the year so far. All the other children wore PE shorts and t-shirt in the house colour. Way to single out the less sporty and less popular children! sad The only reason I haven't complained is that he didn't mind and was oblivious.

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