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It's a knock at the door, OFPARENT are here. What grade would you get?

(57 Posts)
kim147 Mon 07-Jul-14 16:21:30

No notice inspection.

Well - the floor is covered in wires. Working from home. DS is engaged in education he's playing Minecraft.

House is generally tidy. Ish. Washing's been done. Bathroom and kitchen ok- but some washing up needs doing from lunch.

Food will be ready soon. Homecooked so yay me. But DS won't eat the vegetables so that's probably a black mark.

I'm sure they'll find room for improvement. Probably because I'm on MN and not engaging with DS actively.

What would you get?

DefiniteMaybe Mon 07-Jul-14 16:25:11

I would definitely get requires improvement.
The house is a tip. Dd is currently wearing ds far too big dirty pyjamas.
I am making homemade chilli for tea which the dc will eat (including veg) but I've not started it yet and I will probably throw up in it (21 weeks pregnant).

D0oinMeCleanin Mon 07-Jul-14 16:25:37

I've spent the last two days nursing the hangover from hell. It was supposed to be is cleaning day today. However owing to the hangover very little actual cleaning has been done.

There are still pans from sunday lunch left to wash. The hoovering hasn't been done since Thursday and there is half a bottle of wine next to my bed.

They do have friends round though, so I am nurturing their social growth.

I'd be put into special measures, most likely. If not closed down with immediate effect.

BertieBotts Mon 07-Jul-14 16:27:42

If they'd have come five minutes earlier I was suitably engaging DS in activities to enrich his educational and social needs grin

But the house is still a tip. Not as much of a tip as it sometimes is but still reasonably tip like.

I'm about to prepare (a nutritious, from scratch, of course, unless I get bored and uninspired and go straight to "noodles") dinner and DS is watching TV now.

PilauMice Mon 07-Jul-14 16:27:58

I'm on MN, DS is jumping on sofa dangerously dancing to 'five little monkeys jumping on the bed'. Just fed him some raisins to stop him from falling asleep in pushchair on the way home.
Grade me!

PilauMice Mon 07-Jul-14 16:29:07

Also I indoctrinate him with political views that Gove disagrees with so he'd probably close me down and get DS parented by a nice Tory family.

Koothrapanties Mon 07-Jul-14 16:30:24

I would actually get a blooming good review today. Flat is clean and tidy, dd is in a brilliant mood, just had her 9month development check with the hv and is months ahead of where she needs to be. It's all going well today!

Just don't come back tomorrow ok?

BarbaraPalmer Mon 07-Jul-14 16:32:22

requires improvement

mostly clean and tidy as it's my non working day. One sick child reading in bed, one non-sick child creating havoc in the craft cupboard as she's bored with having to stay in while her sister's sick.

home made kofta braising on the stove, salad prepped, but if you look closely the children appear to be sporting chocolate milkshake moustaches.

momb Mon 07-Jul-14 16:32:52

I'd get 'generally acceptable with some oustanding features' for engagement, challenge, quality of food, review of learning and generally getting down and dirty to enable the children to succeed (yay me) But immediate notice to improve on the state of the house: sooo messy!

Gileswithachainsaw Mon 07-Jul-14 16:33:27

I'd probably get a "special measures"grin

Dds on sofa with iPad toys all over floor and a basket of washing waiting to go in the dryer.

On plus side there is a pot of cold cure home made vege and lentil soup on the stove. Home made stock and everything. <puffs chest>

insanityscratching Mon 07-Jul-14 16:34:13

I might be under special measures, house is in need of hoover and dusting, we're having hotdogs for dinner, dd is on Movie Star Planet and still wearing her uniform. No plans for anything today apart from TV, laptop and garden......lovely grin

AuntieStella Mon 07-Jul-14 16:34:29

I think I'd get a major fail for hygiene, and quite possibly for a lot of safeguarding issues.

The good points would be the child-centred approach (ie let the little beasts get on with whatever they want), varied and stimulating educational opportunities ('Mum, stop it and leave us alone")

KittyandTeal Mon 07-Jul-14 16:35:37

Based on ofsted. If your house and children are perfect but one DC refuses to eat all their peas you'd be looking at a 'requires inprovement'

Gileswithachainsaw Mon 07-Jul-14 16:36:39

And insanity wins the lowest standard awards (just. giles a close second. Merely for soup) grin

DS doesn't live here with me but visits often. Upon inspection I'd probably get a passing grade. Plenty of educational items/games/books/activities for him to do and for me to engage in with him. Always full fruit bowl, home cooked food, and encouragement for DS to try cooking/baking with me. Could do better on state of flat though, always clean but very messy usually. Just don't look in the freezer as many fish fingers and waffles lurk for when ds wants comfort food and the bread bin hides many boxes of Hello Pandas acquired from the asian supermarket in town. Also, don't look to much at the computer as there's an awful lot of nonsense games on there that Ds likes to waste time on.

StrawberryMouse Mon 07-Jul-14 16:39:08

Hmm, living on a bit of a building site but it's nearly finished. Downstairs presentable, upstairs bathroom is a tip and needs a Hoover through. Beds changed and on top of washing. Got a school friend over for dinner so socialisation tick but it's fish fingers beans and chips so retract the tick.

ThePowerOfMe Mon 07-Jul-14 16:39:59

I'd get outstanding today as long as they don't go upstairs.
Downstairs is all tidy. Boys are at football. Toddler Dd is looking at books and playing with her toys.
Dinner is ready along with a plate of cut up salad veg.

TunipTheUnconquerable Mon 07-Jul-14 16:40:05

Bloody OfParent, turning up without warning 4 days before we move house.
I can just see them refusing to take it into account and putting me in special measures.

I'm on mn. DS1&2 are on YouTube. They're 6 and 2, but it's okay because it's Rik Mayall reading George's Marvellous Medicine.

I'm probably special measures.

Bluecarrot Mon 07-Jul-14 16:44:01

Dd1 glued to iPod for 6 out of 8 waking hours so far. House a shambles inc dishes from Friday ( we were away over weekend and dishes are DPs job anyway)groceries we brought home at 2pm are still in the bags. I'm in bed nursing dd2 and when she dozes off I will be co-sleeping cause I'm knackered. I did but dd1 an educational magazine though...

Thisvehicleisreversing Mon 07-Jul-14 16:44:51

Special measures for me I think.

Both DS's are on Xbox and I'm 'cooking' fish fingers and oven chips for tea.

On a plus note DS2 is off to football training soon.

Then I'm off to work to leave DH in charge so lord only knows what will happen then. grin

ouryve Mon 07-Jul-14 16:44:57


Pyjamas along the back of the sofa, waiting to be paired.
DS2 currently trying to wind up DS1, who has only just got home.

Brought DS2 home from school via the little park, but had to wrestle him out to get him home in time for DS1. Also did that without any planning, or setting out my objectives, or any evaluation of the experience.

I'm looking forward to being taken over by an academy chain.

whitepuddingsupper Mon 07-Jul-14 16:48:28

Not sure, the living room is covered in crumbs and tiny bits of paper but the crumbs are from home made fairy cakes we baked earlier and practising cutting paper into tiny shreds gives me peace for ages is an essential learning skill for a 3 year old, right?

slug Mon 07-Jul-14 16:50:52

I would argue that housekeeping =/= parenting. So on that basis:

Plenty of books and educational materials
Child permanently on a screen of some description
Food all homemade (just don't look at the state of the kitchen)
Child (mostly) clean


FelixFelix Mon 07-Jul-14 16:52:29

House is reasonably tidy. I've lovingly arranged my homemade flapjack on a nice glass cake stand, which may get me extra marks!

But then 6mo DD is asleep in just a nappy and socks, with blueberry strains across her chest which look suspiciously like bruises, and she's holding a muslin square over her face as it's the only way she will go to sleep grin

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