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help me decide my next move.....

(16 Posts)
ducklady Sat 28-Jun-14 17:05:56

im stuck in the middle of nowhere, moved her three years with husband,and the kids, we havent settled, husband has now left and gone back to his home town. im torn between going back to the town i was raised in where i have family and friends, or the town i lived in before where my parents are now and a few friends, i feel so torn.any helpful advice would be appreciated...the town i lived in is a huge move of 170 miles or so.

Olbas Sat 28-Jun-14 17:11:31

Will you need job? What are the schools like in each town, shops, health services, house prices and such like. We made a huge move recently and these are the things we considered. Sorry about your marriage split.

ducklady Sat 28-Jun-14 17:17:37

i dont work at the present as i have four children, one who has aspergers and adhd so am his carer.up north will be better for all amenities, but im worried that the past is calling me and it wont feel the same anymore , does that make sense. job wise and college wise for my kids i think they will do better than here because everywhere is about a 40 min journey to colleges.

ducklady Sat 28-Jun-14 17:19:07

im in a housing association house so it would be a swap

Olbas Sat 28-Jun-14 17:23:39

Yes that does make sense, we had to go back to living in a village we moved from for approximately 3 years, we all hated it, it had changed and so had we. Ds1 has aspergers and he didn't settle at all tbh. How viable is it for you to have a couple of weeks in the town you favour most. I don't mean staying with parents/friends though, I mean renting. It's easy to slip into holiday mode if you stay with people you know. Does that make sense confused

Eebahgum Sat 28-Jun-14 17:24:46

I definitely think you need to move. For me it would be the place where your parents are but I guess it depends how close you are to your family and friends in each place.

ducklady Sat 28-Jun-14 17:31:00

good idea olbas. my parents kind of distanced themselves from me when i married my husband, they didnt like him so werent much support to me or the kids, and i just wounder if i go there will i still be on my own .

Olbas Sat 28-Jun-14 17:36:56

Can you speak to them about it now? Are they easy to read, by that I mean are they the type of people to say "How lovely" when what they really mean is " Oh heck"

ducklady Sat 28-Jun-14 18:02:24

going for lunch tomorrow so will broach subject, makes me feel like a child again.

rainbowfeet Sat 28-Jun-14 18:11:04

I made a move of 80 something miles last year, already knew someone who lived in the village & while I have found everyone lovely & made some other friends too it's not the same as living near family. hmm

Financially I can't move back but if I could I would.

ducklady Sat 28-Jun-14 18:14:27

im so torn

JammyDodger1 Sat 28-Jun-14 18:19:03

think back over the last year and who/which area have you had the most contact with? will that give you an indication of the area with the most support? x

ducklady Sat 28-Jun-14 18:23:29

hmm very true jammy....

HenI5 Sat 28-Jun-14 18:31:29

Why don't you check out specific school options not necessarily where you lived before but close enough for friends and family to visit.
Apart from anything else a fresh start might do you good and a relocation that isn't based exactly on your old haunts would be the best of both worlds.

That said do you have to consider your Ex's new location and factor that in for visits etc.

ducklady Sat 28-Jun-14 18:38:04

well that as well, my ex is father of the baby who is 20 months, but hes mentally unstable and police are not happy about him having total access. its got to be about my other kids and me now

SaggyAndLucy Sun 29-Jun-14 13:26:35

I'd go for a fresh new start somewhere totally different I think.

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