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Things you only hear on mumsnet

(1000 Posts)
JontyMyers Thu 26-Jun-14 12:56:38

What things do you only hear on mumsnet but would never hear anyone you know say in person ?? Ive seen on threads people say "only on mumsnet" or "thats so mumsnet" what thing have you read that made you laugh grin

Xcountry Thu 26-Jun-14 13:01:07

Squash? what is squash? I've just read it on another thread I I though it was a game but apparently not. Also PFB, nobody I ever knew had one of those, it was like shock to the system and dropped off with the in laws for a break and some normality.

MaidOfStars Thu 26-Jun-14 13:02:27

Squash = cordial. What do you call it?

Novelties on Mumsnet - everybody secretly hates weddings.

gamerchick Thu 26-Jun-14 13:03:16

Squash is a sort of juice you dilute with water.

Mintyy Thu 26-Jun-14 13:04:04

People planning Christmas for their 6 month old pfb in June.

gamerchick Thu 26-Jun-14 13:05:22

Nobody I know irl has a problem with greggs anything, fruit shoots or pom bears. I don't know if people really have an issue with them on here or its some sort of code for threads gone by.

JontyMyers Thu 26-Jun-14 13:05:44

I was reading a burns thread a while back and a lady suggested if the OP had an aloe vera plant she could use it to treat the burn and another lady then said "such an mn thing to say" grin made me laugh so hard

Xcountry Thu 26-Jun-14 13:07:42

Aah, I see, I see. We call that diluting juice here. Cant say its that popular. Barrs glass bottles however...

JontyMyers Thu 26-Jun-14 13:07:45

Saw in the news yesterday some primary school in nottingham has banned fruit shoots and cordials and the kids are only allowed concentrated fruit juice or water or milk confused but fruit shoot contains less sugar than the cheap concentrate they are offering ! Loons

MaidOfStars Thu 26-Jun-14 13:09:45

We call that diluting juice here

I'm so hearing this in a Deep South drawl....

Lottapianos Thu 26-Jun-14 13:17:27

People who don't want anyone, not even their own family members, to handle, touch, breath on, sit near or so much as look at their newborn PFB without first dousing themselves head to toe in bleach.

Iron clad rules about what you 'can' and 'cannot' wear if you have the temerity to be over 40. In real life, I dont' think most people give a shit about these sorts of rules

MummyBeerest Thu 26-Jun-14 13:20:15

Every little boy dresses up like a ballerina. Everyday. Obviously.

*I know some do, but it's crazy how many there seem to be.

All weddings are bullshit and should be treated with contempt. Who cares about your marriage? Assholes.

Children don't have any kind of routine, schedule or naps of any sort during the day. We listen to our child, not the clock. It's called being a parent.

Mumsnet isn't what it used to be. Yet I'm on here everyday.

---> to name but a few.

Sparklingbrook Thu 26-Jun-14 13:22:04

BLW. I did it in 1999 without knowing. It was called 'Throw the dinner onto the high chair tray and let them get on with it' then. grin

Wedding begging poems.

Altercations on buses involving pushchairs. I really want to see one in RL but never have.

Cat poo in gardens.

Hoppinggreen Thu 26-Jun-14 13:22:58

I found a hedgehog in my bath.

I done gone to the drug store, got me some o' that mighty fine diiii-lootin' juice... grin

I only ever hear about really crazy unreasonable people on mn.

AggressiveBunting Thu 26-Jun-14 13:24:42

People who take 3 kids and a baby in a pushchair into a loo cubicle with them to avoid using the empty accessible toilet.

BreadForBrains Thu 26-Jun-14 13:25:45

Only on MN...

Do people officially go NC with a relative - people I know in real life just 'don't talk to X anymore'.

Do people manage to make 3 separate meals for a family of 6 with 1 chicken.

Do people 'ban' visitors from coming weeks after having a baby.

Do people hate weddings, gift lists, and apparently their friends confused

Do people neurotically carry a baby across a petrol forecourt to pay - literally never seen anyone doing this IRL.

AggressiveBunting Thu 26-Jun-14 13:26:04

I found a hedgehog in my bath.

I can believe that. I once came back from holiday and a rat had come up our toilet (due to the plumber not putting the 1 way valve in) and was running round the spare room. It was massive. I couldn't get the cat to kill it as they were practically the same size.

BravePotato Thu 26-Jun-14 13:27:06

on MN I often hear boys and girls are exactly the same, there is NO difference (and shame on you if you think otherwise). In RL, we have nice chats between mums about typical boy and girl behaviour.

On MN everyone always "eats as a family". And this is important. In RL kids are often fed in the back of the car on the way to some kind of activity.

Lots of "cooking from scratch" on here too (I often use tinned tomatoes etc. in RL)

HavanaSlife Thu 26-Jun-14 13:27:59

Juice is the devil
Greggs is the devil
Cereal is the devil
Sugar is the devil
Mcdonalds is the devil

I started to think squash was the devil, then I gave my head a wobble and went out into the real world for a while

tankytoppy Thu 26-Jun-14 13:32:27

The word disingenuos.

I see it all the time on MN. never, ever heard it said in real life. Didn't even know what it meant until I just Googled it now.

BaldricksTurnip Thu 26-Jun-14 13:32:37

People getting themselves into a state about homeopathy/spiritual experiences/beliefs/anything 'alternative'. In real life most people I know are very open minded and accepting about what other people choose to do. The idea that anything alternative is populated by scheming 'snake oil salesmen' is paranoid and completely daft. Also the term 'woo'.

Oh and also people having handwringing angst about kids parties and also competitive parenting over school reading book levels.

Xcountry Thu 26-Jun-14 13:32:43

Well MaidOfStars wrong direction - think north of Scotland.

jeee Thu 26-Jun-14 13:36:59

A debate on the relative merits of Eton/Harrow/Winchester.

Fussing about whether NC level 4 is good at the end of year 1.

Condemnation of Fruit Shoots.

Legionofboom Thu 26-Jun-14 13:38:50

Do people in RL really spend their days inwardly seething about every single thing anyone ever says because they find so many phrases incredibly annoying or too American?

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