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Is it unreasonable to get a dog if you knew close family was allergic?

(61 Posts)
CeliaFate Tue 24-Jun-14 21:55:40

A close relative is getting a dog. They know my dc are allergic to dogs - brings on asthma and allergic reaction of rhinitis, itching and coughing.
We go to this person's house about once a month. The allergic reaction has led to being rushed to hospital to be put on a nebuliser in the past.
Dh thinks it's unreasonable of them to get a dog. I'm not sure.
Is it?

STOPwiththehahaheheloling Tue 24-Jun-14 21:58:24

I dont think it is unreasonable. It would be UR of them to still expect your DCs to visit though so this person has decided either to visit you at your house/out somewhere or to let the relationship lapse.

SantanaLopez Tue 24-Jun-14 21:58:33

Oh I'm not sure, but it was a nut allergy they'd not have any nuts in the house, so a dog's really not that different.

chundercatsarego Tue 24-Jun-14 22:00:43

Dh wanted a cat and I agreed only because I HATE my stepdad and he is really allergic. Have you been particularly annoying recently? <runs and hides>

Goblinchild Tue 24-Jun-14 22:02:36

No, I'd only think it unreasonable if they lived in the same house.
Do they know you won't be visiting any longer? Has it even occurred to them that it's going to cut down on all sorts of things involving your DC?

CeliaFate Tue 24-Jun-14 22:02:51

Not as far as I'm aware grin
I know my dc's allergies shouldn't govern other people's lives, but I'm a bit annoyed that they won't even consider dc's allergies when getting a dog and they will still expect them to visit their house; they won't see a problem with it and will say "just take Piriton".

mousmous Tue 24-Jun-14 22:03:03

if they don't expect you to visit yabu.
their house their rule and all that.

Bowlersarm Tue 24-Jun-14 22:03:33

You only see them once a month. Why can't they come to you, if you now can't go to them?

Goblinchild Tue 24-Jun-14 22:04:27

Then make it clear what the consequences are and don't get cross when they wail at you.

Bowlersarm Tue 24-Jun-14 22:04:31

Would taking a piriton sort the problem?

CeliaFate Tue 24-Jun-14 22:05:05

We go to their house once a month, they come to us the next month as a reciprocal arrangement.

mousmous Tue 24-Jun-14 22:05:08

the 'just take piriton' line annoys me no end.
as if that would work for allergic asthma...

Goblinchild Tue 24-Jun-14 22:06:25

Unlikely if the reaction is that severe, and I'm not sure I'd be wanting to drug up the children do see numpties on a monthly basis. It's not just the dog, it's the hair and skin flakes and residues in a house with an animal that can trigger a reaction in very sensitive cases.

chundercatsarego Tue 24-Jun-14 22:07:12

Ha, mine is quite an extreme case grin

Maybe see them a bit less/at yours/outside? Are you really that close if only once a month and they don't really get it? Let them make the effort for a while and see if they are worth bothering for. FWIW, my bil is very allergic so I prep certain rooms by shutting the cat out/hoovering/dusting and he takes piriton and survives....depends how bad your dc allergy is

Bowlersarm Tue 24-Jun-14 22:11:54

So you go to their house one month, then they come to go the next? So in actual fact you only go to their house every other month?

They are NOT being unreasonable!

They get a dog. They get the benefits of having a dog. The walks that keep them fit. The companionship. The unconditional love. Day in day out. Cuddles, company, love.

They should sacrifice that to see you for a few hours every second month?

Hmm, let me think about that....confused

MaryWestmacott Tue 24-Jun-14 22:13:17

I think you can't say anything without looking like a cock, so you no longer visit there. Calmly explain that piriton won't work for asthma so sorry, you're not going to visit again.

Are you going to be ok to have them visit? One of my friends has a very fluffy cat that sets off DH's asthma, he actually has struggled to breath when she's visited our house in clothes with cat hair on.

fluffycow Tue 24-Jun-14 22:15:54

When you meet couldn't you just got to the pub or somewhere that's not their house so your kids don't come into contact with the dog? And if it's that bad then ask them to wear clean clothes that are free of dog hair as well.

fluffycow Tue 24-Jun-14 22:17:43

Do you know what type of dog they're getting? We have a labradoodle (they are hypoallergenic) and my son who has asthma and is allergic to cats and dogs is completely fine around him.

JamJimJam Tue 24-Jun-14 22:18:38

You are right when you say your dc's allergies shouldn't govern other people's lives.


Bowlersarm Tue 24-Jun-14 22:22:34

Cockerpoos are hypoallergenic too, as far as I know.

hmc Tue 24-Jun-14 22:26:56

No, it's not unreasonable of them so long as they appreciate that you won't be visiting

CeliaFate Tue 24-Jun-14 22:31:37

This isn't AIBU.
Thanks to the posters who bothered to read the thread and tried to empathise. I fear my close relative will adopt the "tough shit" attitude so we won't be able to go there.
I have altered details sp I don't out myself but it's very close family so it will have a big impact.

CarpetBagger Tue 24-Jun-14 22:34:04

and they will still expect them to visit their house; they won't see a problem with it and will say "just take Piriton"

well good for them, you can't control what they do...

you can control what you and your children do, which will be to stop visiting the house, due to dog allergies. ( they could have got hypo allenerngienic non shedding dog if they cared that much).

They say, oh just take piriton, you say, NO, they wont it wont help. We are not coming.

They are not unreasonable as long as they don't think you are unreasonable when you don't visit.

But I hasten to add that my ds is allergic to dogs and we have one. Some breeds are better than others. But as an aside to the recommendations for poodle crosses...if your pup takes after the poodle side then you are lucky and yes the dog will be low allergy. If it takes after the other 50% of its genes (like the many in rescue when the low allergy pup turned out not so low allergy) then it won't be. It is not a sure thing with a cross breed. I know two labradoodles who are about 18" high with tight poodle coats and another pair who are the size of a small pony with long straight tumbleweed hair!

HavanaSlife Tue 24-Jun-14 22:35:02

I don't see how it can have a big impact if you only go there once every month, or every second month?

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