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If your pet could talk it would say...

(45 Posts)
HilariousInHindsight Tue 24-Jun-14 00:07:43

"Just you wait - when your back is turned I'm going to eat the lot! You won't even see a crumb!"

JennyOnTheBlocks Tue 24-Jun-14 06:13:26

You used to be fun, now all you do is tell me to get down and pet me from arms length.

HarrySnotter Tue 24-Jun-14 06:51:37

I love you so I have eaten your shoes again.

Give me cheese.

SquirrelledAway Tue 24-Jun-14 07:46:11

You know you're going to pay for that at some point in the future. You won't know when, and you won't know where, until you step in it.

And by the way, I threw up in your handbag. Again.

WeirdCatLady Tue 24-Jun-14 07:53:21

Do you love me? Do you love me? How much do you love me? Can I lie on your feet, I know you like it, I'm not in the way am I? oh dear, have I knocked that over? Rub my belly. Can I have a biscuit? Mum? Mum? Mum?

Fuck off minion.

What are you doing in our garden? How dare you come into our garden! Have you got anything interesting? No? How dare you come into our garden!

Dog. Cat. Chickens.

"Did you buy me carrots? I like carrots? Where are my carrots? I'm just going to check the fridge, and then stand with my paw on your foot until you give me a carrot. Even if you've just fed me. Bloody love carrots"

My puppy.

WilliamShatner Tue 24-Jun-14 08:57:10


rallytog1 Tue 24-Jun-14 09:04:26

Of course it's reasonable to wake up all the neighbours while I howl at you to let me in at 3am. Our wasn't ready to come in when you called me at 11pm.

FuckyNell Tue 24-Jun-14 09:11:23

Happy birthday to meeeeeeee!!!!!!!

FuckyNell Tue 24-Jun-14 09:12:26

Where's my birthday brekkie

MrsJohnDeere Tue 24-Jun-14 09:14:27

Ahem. I ordered a walk. <looks at clock>

Preciousbane Tue 24-Jun-14 09:15:07

I still haven't forgiven you for falling over me last night, even though you fell off the back step in the dark and got an awful fright and a bruised knee.

Give me dreamies now bitch!

WeirdCatLady Tue 24-Jun-14 20:13:31

Happy Birthday FuckyDog xx

ChubbyKitty Tue 24-Jun-14 20:18:58

"Bring the sun back out, human, I need to flash my vag to the neighbours a bit more"

whatwoulddexterdo Tue 24-Jun-14 20:21:57

Why aren't I allowed on the couch? Everyone else is
Ps i'm hungry
My 12 mon
th goldie :-)

ShakeYourTailFeathers Tue 24-Jun-14 20:22:20

I fucking hate this kitten....

Xihha Tue 24-Jun-14 20:23:57

"actually I really do like chocolate, I think you are lying and dogs can eat it, you just don't want to share"

ancientbuchanan Tue 24-Jun-14 20:24:53

Don't leeeaave me
Thanks God you're back
I need to lick you


Floralnomad Tue 24-Jun-14 20:26:01

Turn that fan off ,you had all my hair cut off today ! ( looks very handsome though) .

ancientbuchanan Tue 24-Jun-14 20:26:50

And for super intelligent days.

Hmmm. Raining at the back door.

Think I'll check if it's raining at the front door.


Let's try the French windows.

Fluffycloudland77 Tue 24-Jun-14 20:51:35

"There's another cat outside! I'm going to dash round the front & fight it".

"I love you soooo much when I'm hungry, it's so clever how you put food on the plate"

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