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to expect dp to do his share of the Sunday night crap despite..

(29 Posts)
BobPatandIgglePiggle Sun 15-Jun-14 21:51:33

It being Father's Day and a World Cup match being on?

I have 'done' father's day - lie in and breakfast in bed for him, card and present, fuss made etc.

But... on a night we alternate putting ds to bed / doing tidying, packed lunches etc. It was my turn to put ds to bed. Offered to swap but he didn't want to.

He'd stacked mess but not put it away, hadn't hoovered (we've had guests with pets and kids, the floor was a mess) done his pack up, half of mine! and hadn't done ds'. He'd not got ds' bag ready (ds is 2. We're both working tomorrow and need to all be up and out by 7.20am)

He went to the shop for fags in the middle of doing pack ups then sat down to watch the footy.

I shouted him through to finish up and asked him to do ds' bag. I hoovered and have just finished an hour's worth of batch cooking. The ingredients were in the Woops section in the supermarket and needed using today.

He's in a huff because I'm nagging, its father's day and he wanted to watch his 4th match of the weekend. None of the stuff was non essential and if he'd not done it I would have had to.

Flisspaps Sun 15-Jun-14 21:55:12

I think YABU, but only because on Mother's Day DH does everything even if it's my turn.

ThinkIveBeenHacked Sun 15-Jun-14 21:59:09

Dh walked.out of the litchen declaring that he wasnt doing the dishes as it was fathers day and sat down to watch the football. I brought him a whiskey then left him to it.

He deserves a treat day. He works like a fucking trojan and does at least 50 percent of the childcare and housework.

Is your dh a slacker generally?

AnyoneForTennis Sun 15-Jun-14 22:03:26

Gosh all this angst over a packed lunch!

BobPatandIgglePiggle Sun 15-Jun-14 22:03:50

Dp went to the match on mother's day!

Not a 'slacker' in that he does stuff with ds and will uaually do maybe 70% of the stuff I do when I'm on a chores rather than da' bedtime night.

He thinks that because the world cup is only every few years he should watch every game, forgetting that he has a seaaon ticket so goes to every home game...

fairylightsintheloft Sun 15-Jun-14 22:04:42

No he is taking the piss. I'm all for mothers and fathers day, nice to feel appreciated but by the evening I think normality has to set in and it really was a bit twattish to leave the lunches half done.

restandpeace Sun 15-Jun-14 22:06:05

It would be nice to let him do nothing. I'm afraid my dh has had quite a busy day, partly through choice and partly as i needed his help. We did let him lie in, make him breakfast and cards though.

BobPatandIgglePiggle Sun 15-Jun-14 22:06:23

He'd done his pack up though - and hadn't done mine and ds'. Or sorted ds' stuff / hoovered. I'd just sat down when I posted - I' d still have been working if I'd done his jobs too - doesn't seem fair!

restandpeace Sun 15-Jun-14 22:08:04

My dh has done done diy, taken dd1 to an activity, hoovered, changed nappies, dressed the baby, taken dcs to the park! But he normally cooks at the weekend and i have done it all.

restandpeace Sun 15-Jun-14 22:09:40

How many children have you got op? 9.50 is late to be sitting down, do you normally have anytime gor yourself?

BobPatandIgglePiggle Sun 15-Jun-14 22:14:31

Just the one dc.

He was a nightmare going to bed - nearly an hour instead of the usual 15 minute story ai cuddle as he was upset about our visitors going home - he's loved having their ds to play.

I've been sorting visitor debris - packing away the airbed, washing their bedding etc. They only left at tea time so all of the crap that usually gets done over a weekend (nothing major, tidy, bed change etc) has had to be done still

restandpeace Sun 15-Jun-14 22:15:23

Oh I see.

restandpeace Sun 15-Jun-14 22:17:22

Well im with you really, life goes on father's day or not. And don't get me started on the footie.

ToriaPumpkin Sun 15-Jun-14 22:20:42

Tonight DH has done the ironing, made the bottles up, changed loads of washing and taken turns settling the colicky baby. Fathers day is all well and good but on mothers day I was heavily pregnant and still made a roast and did all the laundry once the cards, gifts and fuss was over with. Such is life, it doesn't stop for a Hallmark holiday.

AcrossthePond55 Sun 15-Jun-14 22:22:03

Is this a one-off or is he like this a lot? If it's just once or twice a year I'd just let it go & figure it'd even out later on (I'd see that it did!). If he has form for this, then you have a bigger problem than football on Father's Day!

deakymom Sun 15-Jun-14 22:24:50

i didnt even get a lie in on mothers day and today ive been up since 5 walking some distance to the shop he was supposed to drive to last night dealing with an undiagnosed hyperactive child (who has been banging yelling screeching running around since 5.30am) ive cooked cleaned im washing my daughters PE kit for the morning because she has been irresponsible while looking after one of those stupid plastic dolls over the weekend (which screams and cries) he got a lie in food drinks i ended up in the hospital with the youngest ive finally got all three children asleep and he says are you up for it hmm ive told him im knackered i will think about it

bloody husband has no clue he really doesnt

BobPatandIgglePiggle Sun 15-Jun-14 22:41:15

across he's naturally selfish and won't necessarily link himself with stuff that he knows needs doing but will usually say 'yeah, no problem' when I ask him to do specific things as his share (we both work long hours - there's not much opportunity to put stuff off till later / tomorrow / next week which is his natural instinct

He's in a one specifically because it's fathers day and a world cup day. I got up both mornings this weekend (we usually alternate) because it's fathers day and because he's had a busy time at work (so have I - same field)

Ledkr Sun 15-Jun-14 22:56:04

Tbh the endless football is already annoying me, dh has hogged the bloody telly all day.
I don't mind him watching every game but we've only got sky on the lounge tv so he could watch some matches on the other tvs.
He's been a bit lazy because of it but I don't care cos I've got work and he's here so wil have to catch up.

BobPatandIgglePiggle Sun 15-Jun-14 22:58:30

I don't mind him watching led even though I hate football. I jist want him to work around it though - I don't want to so his share of house crap juat because the world cup is on!!

Ledkr Sun 15-Jun-14 23:00:04

I like football but not endless matches like this.
Dh is very hands on and helpful but today football has held his attention too much!!

BobPatandIgglePiggle Sun 15-Jun-14 23:16:31

He's staying up late to watch this match too - so he'll be shattered tomorrow and will want to slob on the settee when we get in from work.

The thing he doesn't seem to realise though is that chores dont go away just because the footy is on!

AcrossthePond55 Sun 15-Jun-14 23:22:48

bobpat maybe you should try to take next weekend 'off', or at least part of it. Do you think you could get him to take the lion's share next weekend while you did something for yourself? My DH could be pretty lax about carrying his end of the stick at times, but if I calmly called him on it he'd usually admit it & he'd happily pick up most of the chores so I could relax a bit.

I don't know what it is about men & sports. It seems they can barely manage to watch TV and breathe at the same time, let alone doing something useful. You'd usually find us (women) watching our favorites on TV and still managing to fold a load of laundry, pay a few bills, or pack a school bag at the same time!

AcrossthePond55 Sun 15-Jun-14 23:25:00

He's staying up late to watch this match too - so he'll be shattered tomorrow and will want to slob on the settee when we get in from work.

Sounds like pizza or takeaway time to me! At least you won't have to cook or do dishes!

BobPatandIgglePiggle Sun 15-Jun-14 23:41:53

He would never say 'no' but lots of stuff just wouldn't get done then fhe knock on effect of 'no clean socks, mo meals made. ..

AcrossthePond55 Mon 16-Jun-14 01:17:42

Not worth it then.

Mine are both grown but I remember how frazzled I felt at times and as if I got no help. Sometimes it felt as if it would never end. Sometimes I felt the only time I had to myself was when I was taking a wee. Even then there were times little fingers poked under the door with 'Mummy, Mummy, Mummy'. It'll calm down eventually and you'll be able to catch your breath.

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