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Do you get anxious about work?

(31 Posts)
Worried22 Sun 15-Jun-14 21:10:08

I've been off work for a year and recently returned to a job which I've done for years, I know I can do it and I'm usually ok when I'm there but love home time. But I get so worried about it the day before and in the morning.

I need to work, I'm better off financially and it sets a good example to my dd, plus I worry about being judged for not working, but I hate the panic I feel. My heart races, I feel really tense and I get snappy in the mornings rushing around even though I don't leave the house really early.

I know I need to get used to being back in employment, but I've always been like this, I used to cry sometimes! I really worry I'm doing the job badly. Do others get like this?

emsyj Sun 15-Jun-14 21:12:37

I used to feel like that - then I changed jobs, and I never get that feeling any more. It's a massive, massive relief. I don't think I really knew how miserable the old job made me until I had a total change of direction.

Worried22 Sun 15-Jun-14 21:15:40

I've changed jobs though, same profession but different place. My colleagues are nice and the hours are good, plus I'm only p/t which is why I get so annoyed with myself. Others do so much more, and I can't even cope with what I do!

Worried22 Sun 15-Jun-14 21:27:27

I thought they'd be more who feel the same! Sorry.

emsyj Sun 15-Jun-14 21:28:32

i changed profession - I had some jobs in my old career that were 'better', some that were worse - but overall it just wasn't a fit for me. I'm much happier now.

homeappliance Sun 15-Jun-14 21:38:34

I feel the same! I too work part time, just two days a week but I do a lot of work in the evenings (unpaid!)

I returned to my role just under a year ago for the same reasons as you. I'm a very conscientious person (always have been). I want to feel like I'm doing a good job. But I'm finding part time really hard, and I don't feel like I'm keeping up with the day to day stuff (let alone all the extras I should be going).

I feel in a constant state of alert, if I'm not doing the work I'm thinking about it. I've definitely noticed my stress levels have increased since starting back and I am generally more irritable, snappy and the night before I go back I get butterflies and find it difficult to relax. Nice to know I'm not alone and would be grateful to hear if anyone has any ideas to make this easier!

RetroHippy Sun 15-Jun-14 21:44:27

Yup. Got it now.

I'm a teacher. It's remarkably common for us to fantasise about having a minor crash on the way to work. Not involving anyone else, or enough to seriously hurt yourself. Just enough to warrant a week off work with whiplash or something.

I don't know if a different career would change it though. I used to get it in catering management. That feeling that you'd not done something and you'd get found out. Horrible. I think the only job you wouldn't get it is one where you get paid for what you do and have absolutely no responsibility. Like fruit picking.

I daydream about working for myself, but there would still be deadlines and people to let down. And then the sicky feeling...

Worried22 Sun 15-Jun-14 21:52:29

Yes I fantasise about getting injured or becoming ill, both has happened to me, but then I get better and have to go back.

It helps to know I'm not alone, but we've still all got to go to work tomorrow! Tbh sometimes it's not just work I get anxious about, it's life in general I find hard. I feel I'm living a double life, and I'm not myself at work. But if I was they wouldn't employ me!

emsyj Sun 15-Jun-14 21:55:21

Yep, I used to have these conversations with one of my colleagues - we'd wish to get ill, just enough to warrant hospitalisation but not anything life-threatening. At the time, we told ourselves that it was just stress/normal etc, but it really isn't. Since having children, both of us have reassessed and left the profession in question.

Worried22 Sun 15-Jun-14 21:57:28

Emsyj I want to know your previous job now!

RetroHippy Sun 15-Jun-14 21:58:39

I'm currently 8 weeks pg with my first. I cannot wait to finish work, and know that I will do everything I can not to go back to it when I finish mat leave. I'm thinking of looking for teaching assistant jobs, and supplementing my income with tuition. It's rubbish when you feel like you're shit at your job and worry constantly.

Greenstone Sun 15-Jun-14 21:59:44

Yes, always have, in any job I've ever done. The worst is when I make a mistake and have to wait overnight/over the weekend to face the repercussions. They're inevitably not serious, but it plays on my mind so much and I beat myself up.

corlan Sun 15-Jun-14 22:00:34

I changed job at the beginning of the year and I've been suffering from anxiety since then. I know it's the job and I'm doing my best to find another one.

You are definitely not alone! I can't work out why the job makes me so anxious, but it's interesting what you said about not being yourself at work - that's definitely true for me in this job

emsyj Sun 15-Jun-14 22:02:45

I used to be a lawyer. I was well respected at work but constantly terrified that I would be 'found out' as I never felt I was really on top of things. I hated the work, the stress, the environment. I was extremely well paid and I had some nice friends at work, and some of the people in all the various firms I worked at were lovely, but it wasn't enough to compensate for everything else. I still remember the churning stomach and feeling of dread that I used to feel every day travelling to work - and I am grateful every day that I go to work (I work 4 days now) that I never get that feeling any more. I am now a civil servant.

WyrdByrd Sun 15-Jun-14 22:09:11

I work part time, term time only. Job is walking distance from home & DDs school, fits round school hours, nice colleagues, flexibility & ok pay.

But I'd still rather not work. I always have that feeling that I'm going to come unstuck and find performance reviews terrifying - my line manager knows how I feel - in 4.5 years I've managed 1 without tears.

I am also really stressed, foul tempered & tearful every morning, even though I generally enjoy my job once I get there.

I was off sick for 4 weeks recently & felt like a different person which had an effect on the whole household.

Unfortunately giving up work is not an option financially so it's just a case of cracking on as best I can.

InternetFOREVER Sun 15-Jun-14 22:12:24

Yep, I've always had this - through easy jobs, hard jobs, stressful jobs, menial jobs... I'm a reasonably anxious person though and I think if I didn't work I'd just transfer that anxiety onto other areas of my life sad

Worried22 Sun 15-Jun-14 22:14:43

But why are some people like this and find it really hard, when others maybe still find work hard but just get on with it and cope?!

I'm really struggling tonight, I feel so agitated. I don't want to go to bed as I don't want it to be morning. It's so frustrating as once I'm there, I'm not so bad. I've never been told I'm bad at my job, but I want reassurance I'm doing ok.

I think I just feel better when I'm not working, as my self esteem is low so I hate responsibilty, also I can hide away in bed if I feel really bad.

I was shy at school, maybe it stems from that.

winnertakesitall Sun 15-Jun-14 22:26:16

I had cbt recently for this type of anxiety. It was amazing. The therapist believes that people who are perfectionists suffer more from this type of anxiety as we set ourselves up to always over achieve and then stress that we will or not do so. She was quite good with her techniques- and simply she made me realise that I can only do the best I can do, and whether I stress or not, I will always do my best- as I always do! In addition, she suggested that I try and worry about things at the correct time- ie when I can do something about them, not when I can't!

I suffer from anxiety related insomnia, and her advice/methods have helped!

Avalon21 Sun 15-Jun-14 22:33:33

I am in the same boat. I was in a very senior position and flying it until I had DD2 and took a year out and then 3 year career break as I wanted to be home with kids.

Then I was approached about a role and they agreed to part time hours but I am constantly so anxious. I have lost all my confidence and even though the role is less senior I feel that I am not living up to my reputation and am struggling to get through the work. I also feel like an outsider as I am new to the organisation and they look upon me as a threat. I downloaded an app called headspace which is good to help me relax.

Not sure what the solution is. I don't know if I changed jobs would I lose this feeling or some other aspects of work would cause me anxiety.

KatnissEvermean Sun 15-Jun-14 22:38:29

I used to feel like that in my old job. I hated Sundays because I would spend them worrying about Monday. I also used to daydream about getting hit by a car and getting to go to hospital so I wouldn't have to go. I just felt like I couldn't keep up with my work, but everybody else thought I was great at my job so I got no support.

I changed career to something completely different, and I don't feel like that anymore. There are times when I feel anxious about waiting for replies to emails or things like that, but now I look forward to going to work a lot of the time.

For so long I believed there was something wrong with me, that I was just rubbish at working and would always hate it, but now I realise there was something wrong with my old job.

aoife24 Sun 15-Jun-14 22:40:38

Yes, I do. Some aspects of my job I'm not very well suited to, being a bit shy and introverted, but I just have to get on with it and that causes me some anxiety. I constantly worry I'm not going to bring in enough work or get through it. We have also had much more stringent targets set for next year and I sometimes feel as if we are being set up to fail.

I have a tendency to catastrophise and need to keep that in check but I honestly don't know what I would do if if I lost my job.

CornChips Sun 15-Jun-14 22:47:56

Yes I feel like this too. I am lucky in that I mostly work from home.... most of the people in my 'office' do.But it has a down side in that you never have e face to face and day to day stuff. And a new-ish colleague does a good line in setting people up and scapegoating to cover up her own incompetence and inadequacies.It stresses me out enormously.

I also have the being-hit-by-a-car fantasies. Just something that would get me legitimately out of the situation without being blamed somehow.

Whatahoohaa Sun 15-Jun-14 22:54:30

Worried, the thing to remember is that your employment wil challenge you but improve your skills . If you hide away and avoid work, those sills will lessen and your world will narrow.
Keep your learning and training goals in mind and keep going.You can do this !

Ledkr Sun 15-Jun-14 23:17:32

Me too. In kind of glad not to be the only one who feels like this?
It's been worse of late due to my work load increasing.
I am trying to make changes, I've applied for a new post but suspect it will be as stressful so I may have to change job completely after fifteen years.
I'm anxious now and will probably be awake about five am.

LadyWithLapdog Sun 15-Jun-14 23:32:40

I used to feel like this too. There's a stretch of the M25 I still can't drive on without the feeling of dread, butterflies, mouth getting dry then face and scalp getting hit and feeing the hair stand on its end.

I'm in a job now where I don't get this. Maybe once or twice a month, usually a mad panic that I've forgotten to do something. You're not alone. It's awful.

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