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Argh! I'm going to get a visit from child protection aren't I? DD embarassing us at school...

(121 Posts)
TeaFor6 Fri 13-Jun-14 22:53:45

I have a new car. Yesterday DH took DD to Brownies and decided to take my new car. He bought a can of coke whilst he was waiting for her and for some unknown reason decided to try and open it whilst he was driving back. Unsurprisingly, he spilt half of it on the seats. angry

I took the DDs to school today and was huffing and puffing a bit about daddy spilling drink in the car. This evening I read DDs workbook where they write about what they've been up to. Today she has written:

"Mummy shouted at daddy because he was drinking and driving so ruined the car."

blush God knows what her teacher is thinking!

It's only a few weeks since she wrote the journal of what she did on holiday: She was trying to say how DH fell asleep on the lilo in the pool. For some reason she added an 'I' to water, so it became

"Daddy fell asleep on the waiter"


Is it time to start looking for a new school? Anyone reassure me with tales of how their DC hve inadevertently embarassed them at school

Could have been worse "daddy spilled his coke on the car, it was very expensive, so he licked it up"

TeaFor6 Fri 13-Jun-14 23:02:25

Yes, it did cross my mind that 'daddy having coke in the car' could look extra suspicous

starfishmummy Fri 13-Jun-14 23:04:28

Any protesting that a soft drink was spilled all over the upholstery will be met with disbelief, a tilted head and little smile....

hiddenhome Fri 13-Jun-14 23:05:41

'Mummy is very scary' found in ds2's journal during parents evening confused

catkind Fri 13-Jun-14 23:06:54

DS can't write well enough to contribute yet, I'll look forward to these gems.

ThreeLannistersOneTargaryen Fri 13-Jun-14 23:09:06

DS3 in Y1: "I like fighting with my Mummy" accompanied by a drawing of two stick people urinating.

Noregretsatall Fri 13-Jun-14 23:09:23

Not embarrassing as such but youngest dd was doing a project on digital photography years ago when she was in year 1 and she'd written...'digital pictures are stored on a floppy dick'.....certainly livened up parents eve for me!

TheMasterNotMargarita Fri 13-Jun-14 23:10:47

DD wrote that the dog bit her and by the picture you would think her arm was hanging off and she needed a transfusion.

Dog actually ran past panting as she ran the other way and somehow scratched the back of her hand and JUST broke the skin. Dramarama!

BlackeyedSusan Fri 13-Jun-14 23:12:31

Children often write fuck for fork and penis for pennies. Those spellings were always corrected!

Muskey Fri 13-Jun-14 23:18:19

I have one but its not school based. Dd has a thing about not doing a pooh unless it is at home...yes I know it's wierd but each to their own. I went shopping with dd and we needed the loo. Went into the toilets in a shopping centre. DD in a very loud voice "said mummy someone's doing a pooh I know they are I can smell it" I knew the poor woman in the next cubicle must have been mortified so I thought it best that I stay in the cubicle to let her escape so that dd wouldn't embarras her further. However this woman had also decided to stay put. I could hear the toilets filling up (only 2 cubicles) and the soft shoe shuffle of women needing to pee so I decided to make a run for it. Unfortunately the woman in the next cubicle had also decided to make her move. The doors opened simultaneously and DD said in an equally loud voice "look mummy I told you someone had done a pooh". By this time I was dragging DD out of the toilet and decided not to wash our hands and just escape when DD piped up "mummy at least the lady who did the pooh washed her hands you didn't"

TeaFor6 Fri 13-Jun-14 23:19:01

Oh god, i've just remembered another one from a couple of years ago. Thankfully not written down so no evidence . DD2 told the TA

"mummy hit me with a hammer!"

It's true i did manage to accidentally drop a hammer on her foot, but she was wearing thick shoes and wasn't hurt. And it was a complete accident!

LadySybilVimes Fri 13-Jun-14 23:24:06

My dd said to her teacher when asked how she got a bruise
"my mummy said I fell down the stairs"

There is nothing at all you can say afterwards that doesn't sound suspicious.

Oh, she genuinely had fallen down the stairs!

IWalkInTheSun Fri 13-Jun-14 23:24:41

Readind those is the Best way to end an already un friday.

IWalkInTheSun Fri 13-Jun-14 23:25:30


Luggagecarousel Fri 13-Jun-14 23:26:54

"My mummy always wacks us carefully"

Should have read "watches"

MrsAlexVause Fri 13-Jun-14 23:27:12

My Sister always used to go to sleep with the lamp on and my Dad would turn it off before they went to bed, which she'd know when she woke up in the night. She was in the shop with my Mum once and said 'I hate it when my Daddy comes into my room at night' and then sighed.

Cocolepew Fri 13-Jun-14 23:29:02


When DD was six they had to write out their new year resolutions in school. Her's was to give up smoking hmm
When DH bought DD2 a chalkboard she decided to thank him by drawing a flower on it with fuk you written underneath.

Sonumb Fri 13-Jun-14 23:32:40

Ds told his Teacher that he gets locked in his room every night after been forced to take lots of tablets.

He was locked in once for five minutes because he was becoming a danger to everybody (I could see him on the baby camera) & the tablets are for sleeping and are prescribed, I still get funny looks off his teacher

Hakluyt Fri 13-Jun-14 23:34:42

Dd wrote in her news book that "mummy peed on the kitchen floor so we were late for school" perfectly spelled and very clear handwriting. The worst of it was I had. I was 40+7 pregnant- and the baby bounced on my bladder. I didn't have q hope.

DS told his friends mum that his dad was picking him up because mummy was" in court for her soliciting"

1) I was in court
2) I am a solicitor.


Greythorne Fri 13-Jun-14 23:57:40

Dd is making those little elastic band bracelets and keeps referring to the crochet hook they give you as a hooker.

Timeisawastin Sat 14-Jun-14 00:13:46

My little girl went through a phase of being a Disney princess and everyone else was named as some other Disney character. My Oh and I were both in the playground waiting for her when she came out shouting 'Beast' at her Dad...

HoneyTits Sat 14-Jun-14 00:20:54

I'm pmsl at these grin

wonderpants Sat 14-Jun-14 00:21:07

A friend worked as a drugs counsellor in a prison. So her young son told the class that mummy was in prison doing drugs! grin

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