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What would you think of this??

(13 Posts)
steth Fri 06-Jun-14 23:22:44

I go to the gym regularly and know most of the trainers to smile and say hi to. One trainer always gives me an "extra" smile and his look lingers that slight bit too long.

Bit of background, been at this gym for 3 years, my 2 kids go to the crèche at the gym when I'm there. This trainer has been at the gym for the whole time I've been a member. I wear a wedding ring which I think should be pretty obvious to him.

Now to the juicy part.....he opened a door for me today and I said thanks X, to which he replied- " you know I have to tell you that you are absolutely gorgeous". I went a bit red and said oh thanks that's sweet. The conversation ended with him asking if I was just finishing my workout or just starting. I said "unfortunately just starting" then we went our separate ways.

My question is. ... Do you think he was coming on to me? Just casually complimenting me or what? Fancies me but that's as far as it goes as he knows I'm married.

I'm obviously not looking for anything, and I was very flattered.

I have heard rumours that this guy is a gigilo

FunkyBoldRibena Fri 06-Jun-14 23:24:57

What if he was? Does it matter?

CarbeDiem Fri 06-Jun-14 23:27:30

Yes he was coming onto you - you know that already.
You should have replied ''thank you my husband thinks so too''

What if he is a gigalo? His business.

steth Fri 06-Jun-14 23:27:47

Well if it was just a throwaway compliment then fine but i don't want there to be any awkwardness if he thinks I'm interested (clearly not though)

Only1scoop Fri 06-Jun-14 23:30:56

Think he was coming on to you. I think you knew that though?

steth Fri 06-Jun-14 23:32:34

If I'm honest I probably knew he was coming on to me. I guess I need advice on how to handle the situation?

steth Fri 06-Jun-14 23:43:53

Advice anyone? :-)

JuanPotatoTwo Fri 06-Jun-14 23:48:33

Just treat him the way you always have. Maybe drop a "my husband says ..." type remark into the convo if the opportunity arises. But otherwise business as usual smile

EasterSundaySimmons Fri 06-Jun-14 23:52:05

What is it that you have to handle?

He is friendly and gave you a compliment, followed by some polite conversation.

I'm an old bat and men say this kind of thing to me, some to chat me up with a view to a date, some as flirty chit chat with no intention of it going further.

If you want to remain on just friendly speaking terms at the gym just be polite and if he asks you out, tell him no, you are happily married.

Accept compliments with grace without the need to feel obligated to him in any way.

If you feel uncomfortable about the possibility of him coming on to you, don't stop to chat, just say hi as you pass and keep on walking.

It does rather sound like you blushed and were a bit like a schoolgirl? If so, it may that you need to feel more confident about yourself.

Compliments and flattery are lovely, but if they ever should ever make you feel embarrassed then you need to have less contact with that person.

CarbeDiem Fri 06-Jun-14 23:58:16

Just behave how you normally would - polite.
If he tries to go there again then I'd mention 'my husband' in the conversation. If he continued after that I'd tell him straight.

IMO you wouldn't tell someone, especially not a virtual stranger, they were gorgeous as a simple compliment without meaning anything.
You'd be more likely to hear 'you're looking very well/lovely or even pretty today'

steth Fri 06-Jun-14 23:59:54

Thanks, sound advice from both. Don't see myself as gorgeous so am a bit overwhelmed and flattered.

CarbeDiem Sat 07-Jun-14 00:04:56

There's nowt wrong with a bit of flattery so long as you see it for what it is.
Of course he could be the type - jack the lad, thinks he's gods gift and speaks to all the ladies like that.

Doesn't your dh tell you you're pretty, gorgeous, beautiful?

EasterSundaySimmons Sat 07-Jun-14 00:08:18

You have young children as you mentioned a crèche. It's easy to feel mumsy and your self esteem can drop. When you receive a compliment or someone is a bit flirty it can make you feel flustered.

Sometimes it's nice to know you are thought of as being attractive and as long as it goes no further and the comments don't turn sexual then enjoy going to the gym and seeing him there.

He may well chasing anything in a skirt or he may be genuinely interested at you. However, your personal space is something that you can control and if you feel he is too close, step away.

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