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SORTING MY LIFE OUT - one step at a time - anyone else?

(146 Posts)
fuzzpig Fri 06-Jun-14 18:07:09

After a really shitty few years (which I've endlessly whinged about on MN, so I'll spare the details here!) things are finally starting to turn around. I have worked really hard at improving what I can, but I still have a way to go.

I thought I could use a support thread for this. I am not expecting a total change overnight, I know real life doesn't work that way! I am just thinking of slower, sustainable progress, and taking pride in achievements along the way, no matter how small they may seem.

I have an incentive. We have agreed that in a year or two we might TTC #3. The delay is so that we can continue to make improvements and really be ready.

My main aims:

To continue overhaul of the family diet. I've made some improvements already particularly to mine, but still a way to go overall. I have developed a much more positive outlook on food and am more mindful about what we are eating so it's certainly better than it was.

To gradually get fitter and continue losing weight. Due to the health problems I've had it is imperative that this is SLOW. Not rushing off to join a gym, although that is a longer term goal which I am frankly itching to do - but I have to be patient.

To learn to truly look after myself. This is something I never learned as a child and I am only just starting to get enough self worth to actually bother. This includes looking after my mental wellbeing too.

To make the house simpler and calmer. I have never really learned how to run a home. I grew up in chaos and have unwittingly recreated it for my DCs. I am, however, gradually learning and teaching the DCs too. We have a long way to go with decluttering, as I have hoarding tendencies which are only now being conquered, so this is the big aim. Unfortunately it has to be slow due to having to pace myself physically.

To improve our financial situation. We live fairly well within our means despite a low income, with no debt other than occasionally entering the overdraft, but could certainly be more frugal. We are saving for a house deposit and it would be great to speed it up.

I'm shamelessly nicking an idea from a Facebook group I'm in, and giving each category a keyword:


What I'd like to do on this thread is to try and achieve something for each of these categories every week, and report back here. It would be great if others would like to join in.

Anyone? smile

Imsuchamess Fri 06-Jun-14 18:13:23

I have scizoaffective and have been psychotically depressed for over a year. But I have asked to be transferred back to my old psychiatrist who is putting me back on my old meds, which although worked caused horrendous weight gain. So I am being referred to a dietician. I also have three dc with sn. my main aims are

1 to get my mental health on track.

2 to make sure I don't forget any appointments.

3 to clean up my house.

4to stop eating take away as much.

littlegreengloworm Fri 06-Jun-14 18:13:50

Wishing you the best of luck fuzz!!! Sounds like a great plan, realistic and important targets for you all. Decluttering is a brilliant for clearing your head and I have been fairly ruthless (I was on the m thread last year and great support)

Well done for starting!

MrsAlexVause Fri 06-Jun-14 18:16:49

I need to do this! Have no idea where to start though.

Mull Fri 06-Jun-14 18:19:41

fuzzpig you sound like you have come a long way already so WELL DONE. In a similar vein I have decided that 2014 is the year of ME! Have 2 small children and had lost sight of me and was starting to become a martyr. My mum was like that so I resolved to change. So far (since Mar):
- Lost 1.9 st (still over 2st to go)
- Have joined gym as did NO exercise for about 5 years
- Trying to take more care of appearance (earrings, small amount of makeup, admitting that I need to deal with my 'tashe blush )
- Learnt to crochet as had no hobbies (except tv watching and biscuit eating!)

I find it's all about upward spirals. The more I do, the more I want to do IYSWIM.

I like your headings. I will ponder this some more and report back. Once again, well done and hopefully this thread will help smile

MTWTFSS Fri 06-Jun-14 18:21:27

I need to do this!

RosegoldRuby Fri 06-Jun-14 18:22:12

I'm in. Will give it some thought and post definite goals later.

fuzzpig Fri 06-Jun-14 20:55:19

Excellent, welcome all grin

YES to upward spiral! That is just what it feels like smile

Well done on your progress so far Mull!

Imsuch - what a horrible thing to go through. thanks Your goals are fab smile

MrsAlex I know that where do I start feeling all too well! Would it help to tell us where you are now?

Glad to see lots of people here already smile

Imsuchamess Fri 06-Jun-14 21:08:02

Thanks fuzzpig I have started small with my goals. But if the thread is still going when I achieve them maybe I will make some bigger goals grin

EasterSundaySimmons Fri 06-Jun-14 21:09:37

Excellent thread.

I've always relied on my dad or my boyfriends to deal with diy, cars, gardening etc.

Currently I don't have a partner, just playing the dating game but not met anyone serious yet.

So I find myself having to do stuff by myself as I don't live near my dad anymore and am single.

It may seem simple to most but I've never had to do anything with a car other than drive them and take them through the car wash!

I've recently managed to take it to be MOT'D, took it to get new tyres and fill up the water thing for the windscreen wipers! Believe me when I say this is a massive accomplishment for me!

The garden is the new thing. In the past I've just wafted round the garden dead heading the roses and putting plants in pots. Today my daughter and I went to b&q and bought bark chippings to put round the perimeter of the fence to block any holes to stop the guinea pigs escaping when we let them loose in the garden. I also bought five bags of sharp sand to scatter on the lawn to get rid of moss. Can't use pesticides because of the piggies.

All my life I've never got my hands dirty as such and today I got stuck in with the bark chippings and the sand. When I phone my father tomorrow he will be in shock that I have done this as he will be so surprised that I've accomplished this.

Ive bought a new Lawnmower and the next step is to mow the lawn! And use as trimmer thing for the edges. This will also be an achievement although my daughter will probably help or take over!

But we are doing it all by ourselves!

CarbeDiem Fri 06-Jun-14 22:04:32

I don't have anything to add but just want to congratulate you on taking the bull by the horns to get sorted.
It all sounds very well planned and best of all it's do-able.
It's cheesy I know but I like it smile - even small steps can climb big mountains.
Good luck X

stillenacht1 Fri 06-Jun-14 22:11:52

Yup I'm insmile

So far (in last two months) I have;

1) organised cutting down hours at work for my mental health

2) taken on a small job which could see me leave my current role in a few years.

3) started piano lessons again after 23 years! Aiming to get grade 8 within next two years smile

Need to;

1) lose 5/6 stone

2) make concerted effort from Sept to look after myself physically. Go out for long walls, on my bike when not working.

Mull Sat 07-Jun-14 11:53:53

So Ive been thinking about this some more and my goals for the coming week are:

DIET - stop eating biscuits. Been using MFP to count calories and it's working. But recently some extra biscuits have been creeping in that aren't being logged.

FITNESS - go to gym x 3 (been this morning so should be achievable)

CARE - I'm going to buy a new eyeshadow. I know it sounds minimal but all my makeup is ancient. Think I've only felt 'I'm worth it' quite recently blush

HOME - the wooden blinds in my bedroom are minging. Covered in dust and the windows are a bit mouldy behind them. I MUST clean them this week.

MONEY - I'm going to set up a monthly SO to the children's bank accounts. Been meaning to do it since I went back to work after mat leave (10 months ago blush ) It won't be very much but is better than nothing.

That should keep me busy! fuzzpig have you got some ideas for this week?

Really liking this thread smile

My main goal at the minute is starting my degree in septmber. Second to that is living alone for the first time EVER as DP is relocating for work, this is the best move for both of us long term but I'm terrified of living alone! I must remeber to keep logging things in my diary so I don't forget things, this includes appointments, payment dates and social activities. I must sort out a medication review (i take ten meds a day!) and I need to set up a SO to save money for our big holiday to florida next march!

Grumpyoldblonde Sat 07-Jun-14 12:04:23

Hi, Count me in please!
I need to really learn to stick with the budget, I am fortunate we have a good income but money slips through my fingers and I want to travel a bit.

I also need to learn to slow down, I am a bull in a china shop and mess things up by trying to rush (esp at work)

Lose the 2 stone that has crept up on me in the last couple of years .

I finally and sadly I need to get a life - make new friends really, how do you do that in your late forties when you have no particular interests?

Good luck everyone with your own goals !

foslady Sat 07-Jun-14 12:14:45

Me too. I'm feeling rough right now as I have realised other than my dd I have no happiness in my life. My job is bringing me down (which I know I should be grateful for after being made redundant and being scared shitless that I'd loose mine and dd's home), my love life has collapsed (again) only this time it was with someone who'd come back into my life who I'd never wanted to leave last time.....and it looks like he's left again for good, a lack of money (pt work but full time with O/T that every month I don't know if it will end and was too late putting last months O/T sheet in), and being a size 16 with an unhealthy relationship with food.

So - I've just seen a FT job I can apply for, I'm working on the letting go (but still hurting like hell but trying my damnedest not to let dd see) and will try and start the new recipe per week regime again and make sure it's a healthy eating one and try and rely less on chocolate to make me feel better.

Does that sound achievable? Once I feel comfortable with these, then I can move on to other areas - rooms in the home i want to tackle, trying to make more friends, get out of the house more and reclaim some life back....

fuzzpig Sat 07-Jun-14 13:39:13

Lots of great goals here.

I'll start by saying what I've achieved this past week:

~ Week Commencing 2nd June ~
DIET - Got back into cooking decent meals in the evenings, where I'd fallen off the wagon a bit. Included really healthy bolognese (mostly grated veg and some lentils) which DCs proudly helped with.
FITNESS - Officially did over 10,000 steps for the first time since I got a pedometer, and got very close on at least one other occasion.
CARE - Made time for a couple of decent hot baths.
HOUSE - Spent time with DCs starting to properly tidy their bedroom.
MONEY - Couldn't find my debit card (not an achievement in itself obviously!) but kept a mental note of what I had to spend on my credit card - which normally sits in my wallet unused - so I can pay it off before the bill is even printed. I've slightly overestimated so I will be a little in credit.

foslady Sat 07-Jun-14 13:52:46

So far
I've found a job I can apply for that utilises my skills and downloaded the form (should be able to do a cut/paste/rehash from last time I applied to them.
Filled in the (anon?) works questionnaire totally truthfully
Spoke to a work mate who is helping me pass the crapness that I'm feeling right now re the now ex relationship.
Spoke to same work mate and another to find our work feelings are similar.

Can't food shopping as skint until next week when TC's get paid in but planning a top up shop and menu plan with dd inc looking at new recipe night for Friday when she's at her dads instead of raiding the freezer for oven chips and ice cream!

foslady Sat 07-Jun-14 13:53:09

Oh, and house is looking tidier!

Grumpyoldblonde Sat 07-Jun-14 15:04:10

Mmm bad start, I just spent a load of money on non essential itrms in the Supermarket (the Gin was essential obviously) but I feel terrible now I read Foslady can't go food shopping today.
Ok, I am going to change - No more frittering

bimbobaggins Sat 07-Jun-14 15:19:16

Lots of great ideas on here. I would love to know how you all got your eureka moments and decided that now is the time to sort things out and have the motivation to do it.
I have so many things to change . Extreme difficulties in my relationship. Massively over weight etc but I am currently not motivated to do anything about them. Even a recent diabetic scare hasn't made me change anything.

Mull Sat 07-Jun-14 15:25:54

fuzzpig I think taking the time for a lovely bath is exactly the sort of thing I should be doing. I put myself at the bottom of the pile time-wise and I need to balance things out a bit more.

Katkins1 Sat 07-Jun-14 15:27:31

I've just finished a degree. Took its toll on my already fragile mental health. I have decided to do little things for me and DD. Over the past few days I have had a clear out, tidied and cleaned, done little things like pluck my eyebrows, buy a dress I liked,taken care of my eczema on my scalp because I neglected it, started medication and decided to get some sleep. Also decided it's fine to not go out,stay in and chill if I want to for a bit. Am freelancing in my job so learning to pace myself.

Mull Sat 07-Jun-14 15:31:59

bimbobaggins my 'moment' had been building for a while but I think DS's school place being confirmed made me think "shit, I've got a child old enough to go to school and I'm still acting like I've got newborns". So baby weight has to go (DC2 is 18mths old ffs), house needs working on and, most importantly, I need to realise that I can spend time/energy/bit of money on myself.

I am marking my place and will come back later to do my goals as am on the go atm. Love the thread. smile

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