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If you claim to be beautiful, explain to me how you know this :)

(128 Posts)
TumbleweedOnspeed Thu 05-Jun-14 00:45:09

Prompted by another thread about losing your looks, a few posters humbly declared they thought themselves quite beautiful once, and it made me wonder - if you can matter of factly state that you are beautiful, how do you know that exactly?

For example, my whole life I have had an ugly complex, when in reality I suppose I'm really just very plain, not actually ugly. I've never been called pretty in my life, but I've been called ugly a few times in childhood and obviously throughout a past DV relationship. My current boyfriend has called me beautiful, but I know I'm not.

When I add up the wonky nose, freckles, small mouth, wonky teeth, lifeless mousy hair, long face and dirty dishwater grey eyes, it all makes me believe I'm ugly.

Yet I have had a couple of exceptionally lovely, and drop dead gorgeous, boyfriends in my time, amd never really been short of dates I suppose.

But do you think you're beautiful because you feel beautiful, or because you have pretty coloured and sparkly eyes, or plump lips, or glossy hair, and so on?

MyrtleDove Thu 05-Jun-14 00:51:39

Freckles are lovely! shock

I am beautiful because I think all bodies are beautiful.

FloozeyLoozey Thu 05-Jun-14 00:54:03

I hate my freckles too op! They're vile on me and always come out in summer. I'm dark haired and the rest of my family tans but I was not a winner of the genetic lottery sad

MyrtleDove Thu 05-Jun-14 00:58:22

I'm dark haired, pale skinned and freckled. Freckles are gorgeous on everyone.

Freckles are lovely.

Beauty is what is inside.

But if you really want to look 'lovely' on the outside I think it is just about fitting in and maybe just standing out! That doesn't make much sense but if you watch the video on here you will see it is all about smooth skin looking very 'flawless' (fitting in) and then accentuating the eyes with make up and the other features etc (standing out)!

It is not what matters but if it makes you happier it is fine, I wear make up and it makes me look better. My hair is going grey so I dye it. I would love to have none-grey hair.

I think I am beautiful. I expect others might not agree! Who cares. I spent 20 years not thinking I looked good and when I look back at photos of my younger slimmer self I think I was crazy!

I think your past DV relationship may be colouring your view so I would really suggest you get some counselling to help with that. I have had lots of counselling in past for fertility issues and for anxiety... and it was amazingly helpful.

If your teeth really are wonky I might see a dentist. I have had a few probs with my teeth and of course even if they are wonky you can still smile a mysterious non-toothy smile,

If I were you would enjoy having non-grey hair! In fact, if I were you I would enjoy my glorious freckles, petite mouth, youthful hair, lovely face and sparkling grey eyes. I would choose to believe good things about myself and whatever others felt I would be thankful for a healthy body.

God bless and all the best.

xalyssx Thu 05-Jun-14 01:57:55

I believe that I am in the more attractive half of the population. This is partly because I do modelling, so I have people reinforcing this idea most days. It's also partly because when I look in the mirror, I'm happy with what I see. There's nothing that I can change (without surgery) to improve my opinion on my physical self, so I guess I want to feel beautiful, otherwise I would just feel disappointed.

Shonajay Thu 05-Jun-14 05:22:10

Men walk into lamp posts on a daily basis to catch a glimpse of me, my postman regularly falls at my feet, when I get to the checkout at sainsburys the guy behind always insists on paying, I'm that gorgeous.

But seriously, I think I'm fine. And the rest I can fix with make up. I'm in remission from cancer and honestly it's changed my life completely regarding possessions and looking good. In hindsight I was a bit vain, not that I have reason to be, but because I cared more for what I looked like.

hesterton Thu 05-Jun-14 05:27:22

I finally know I'm beautiful because my granddaughter's face lights up when she sees me.

Ememem84 Thu 05-Jun-14 06:39:59

I know I am because dh tells me.

I also know because I feel it. It may be that were the only 2 who think it. But I don't care. I think it. I know it. I'm happy in myself.

CuppaSarah Thu 05-Jun-14 06:52:50

I know I'm beautiful because I'm a happy person generally. I have never had trouble meeting peoples eyes, giving them a smile and walking with my head held high. I never realized how much people responded to that till I suffered with depression and I suddenly went from everyone giving me smiles and being warm to being totally invisible.

I have no idea how attractive I am, but I am very beautiful because I'm happy and try and make other people happy too. Happiness is beauty IMO. The rest is just attractiveness and that's just far too subjective to worry about.

RoseberryTopping Thu 05-Jun-14 06:58:32

I think I'm beautiful because I have good thoughts and like to do good deeds, I also smile genuinely a lot. There's lots of other nice things like I'm soft to cuddle, I like to have fun and be a bit silly, I like to try and find the best in other people.

Beauty isn't fully about how you look although that is a small part of it. It's about having a warm and kind soul IMO.

sillymillyb Thu 05-Jun-14 07:02:07

I used to model, so recognise that to a certain degree I have been deemed attractive in the past. I never felt it though, and now: 3 stone heavier, single, no sleep and spots I don't think ill ever reclaim that.

It's interesting cos I have always been really jealous of interesting people, I have never felt like I have a mind or personality to entice people in with. I have self esteem ishhooos though which I prob still need to work on judging from this post grin

Alchemist Thu 05-Jun-14 07:02:30

After rough year where I felt vile and unlovable, H leaving has improved my life so much.

I don't look much different, apart from weight-loss, but I have had a lot of comments from friends saying how good I am looking atm. This is also helped by meeting a lovely man.

I think what I am saying is that now I feel happy, I feel beautiful too iyswim? I think what is being perceived as "looking good" on me is really feeling happy.

hesterton Your post is lovely thanks

I've never thought so, I've scrubbed up okay at times but if I analyse myself in the mirror, I'm extremely ugly.

silkknickers Thu 05-Jun-14 07:08:51

I don't think that I am beautiful, but I FEEL beautiful because I'm happy with myself and love my life.

Piratejones Thu 05-Jun-14 07:09:30

I've been told by my kidssmile

coldwater1 Thu 05-Jun-14 07:13:40

I get told i'm stunning all the time, even by strangers. I don't think i'm that great tbh. But i guess being starred at by men all the time confirms it.

DurhamDurham Thu 05-Jun-14 07:16:22

I think people find beauty in all types of looks, if we were all attracted to the same things there would be a problem.

I think the way you present yourself has a huge impact on how other people perceive you. If you have an air of confidence (not arrogance, that's a huge turn off) then people will treat you accordingly.

ha I was in a club recently and some bloke told me 'you have a really pretty face'. I took it to mean I have an awful body smile

calmet Thu 05-Jun-14 07:28:13

OP you probably look way better than you think you do.

And I am aghast at anyone who would tell a child they were ugly. That is bound to leave scars.

FanjoForTheMammaries Thu 05-Jun-14 07:30:07

When I was about 17 to 20 I got whistled at every day. Literally every day.

I know this is a bit creepy but I suppose I must have been quite striking.

Now I am 42, heavier and totally invisible.

answercomestherenone Thu 05-Jun-14 07:32:22

I have a friend who says she has always regarded herself as beautiful as her granny used to tell her she was and she has never questioned this.

I feel beautiful. Don't know why as I probably don't stand out in any way. I don't wear make up or think about what I look like but I read your post and just thought "yes"

I believe learning to love who you are can make a huge difference.

FrontForward Thu 05-Jun-14 07:40:17

I'd like to state that being beautiful is not important, being a good person is the only important thing to me

But it's not true confused

I think all of us experience a reaction to our external appearance and how we dress demonstrates our intention to present ourselves in a certain way

Having said that I do feel beautiful but not to anyone in particular? Not sure if this makes sense but more a recognition of not conforming to other peoples opinion of what constitutes beautiful. I feel confident in my own appearance. The days I feel drab or not beautiful are related to bad self esteem days ...oddly those are the days I probably should make an effort and it might help drag me out of a gloom

loombands Thu 05-Jun-14 07:43:20

I love myself

but are you talking about physical/aesthetic beauty? Because lots of people on this thread are pontificating about 'being beautiful on the inside' yadda yadda

to claim that you are aesthetically beautiful is alot of hot air, because it is entirely subjective.

as an example, i cannot see anything beautiful about Kate Moss. To me she looks plain and mousy and straight up and down and i don't find her attractive at all. She has made millions because of her 'beauty' confused

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