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Please tell me your funniest/most embarrassing stories...

(116 Posts)
Berryglitter Wed 04-Jun-14 19:36:10

I've had another awful day and really need a laugh.

RabbitPies Wed 04-Jun-14 19:42:52

Hugs for you. Sorry to hear you had such a awful day. Hope tomorrow is better for you.

This isn't that funny,and I've posted it elsewhere on MN,but I'm too lazy to type out long stories.

I do stupid things constantly.

I'd booked a taxi to take me into the city centre straight from work.

I was standing outside waiting for my taxi, and one appeared. I went over and opened the door to find this rather well to do looking gentleman sitting in the back. I didn't say a word, just stared at him for a few seconds then shut the door.

.I went around the corner, out of his sight, for a few minutes while I got over the embarrassment. I then went back into the forecourt and thought 'There's my taxi'
I went to it, opened the door again, to find the same gentleman sitting there glaring at me.

Again I didn't say a word, just looked at him in shock, and disbelief, then closed the door again.

I went back inside the building and 5 minutes later my taxi arrived. It pulled up and I thought thank god, and approached it. Opened it's door, to find that for the third time I'd opened the door of the taxi with that gentleman in it again.

This time I shut the door immediately and dived into my taxi.

He must have thought I was a tad unhinged.blush And I am.

desertmum Wed 04-Jun-14 19:46:42

grin Rabbit

At Uni I used to house share with another girl and 2 boys. I fancied one of the boys. We were all playing a card game one night, having a few drinks, getting a bit flirty.

Then the one I fancied said something really hilarious (can't remember what) and I burst out laughing... which was accompanied by an enormous fart. There was nowhere to hide.

I never did get off with him. :-(

Berryglitter Wed 04-Jun-14 19:50:17

Haha! I haven't embarrassed myself for a few months actually. Though last year I went for drinks with friends, the day after dp and I had had a row (it was all over).

I begged my friends not to go into the pub he would be in but the made me. As we walked out into the smoking area, I fell over a plant pot, dragging my friend with me. He was sat right in front of us.

The look on his face screamed "wtf am I doing with this weirdo"

WastingMyYoungYears Wed 04-Jun-14 19:50:32

grin

WastingMyYoungYears Wed 04-Jun-14 19:52:02

Oh Berry, the grin wasn't at your story. I bet it was his loss.

Berryglitter Wed 04-Jun-14 19:54:00

We're still together (ish) now. He must love me really. I was a bit of a state that night. I was wearing a revealing dress, too make him jealous, I'm sure a bit of boob probably flopped on the ground too, nip and all.

WastingMyYoungYears Wed 04-Jun-14 19:55:24

The boob bit is drip feeding Berry winkgrin.

Berryglitter Wed 04-Jun-14 19:56:07

Oh no!! I did the dreaded drip feed.

RabbitPies Wed 04-Jun-14 19:57:42

And more recently I made a complete twat of myself in front of a friend,by frantically tapping on a picture on a box of frozen food to try to enlarge it.blush

Signs you spend too much time on your Ipad.

PrueDent Wed 04-Jun-14 19:58:01

I started this thread yesterday about my recent embarrassing moment.

Long and short of it was I was in a busy tourist place, well wrapped up for the British weather when the sun made a welcome appearance. I took off my jumper to cool down a little only to discover, to my horror, that I had also removed my t-shirt and was sitting in a place full of people, wearing only my bra (and jeans).

It was not my finest moment blush.

EasterSundaySimmons Wed 04-Jun-14 19:59:49

In the process of splitting up with my first ex and moving home circa 1992 I had to deliver documents to a solicitors office. I hadn't been there before and it was situated on a very long road and the number sequence was often strange due to old buildings being demolished and new ones slotted in between older ones.

I had to post them through the door after work.

I drove up and down and couldn't find the damn place. I managed to narrow down an approximate area. I decided to park in a layby outside Safeways supermarket. I was apprehensive about parking there as I didn't know whether it was allowed or not.

Off I went and eventually found someone who told me exactly where it was - nowhere near where I was!

As I turned to walk back to my car, I saw in the distance a van had parked in front of my car and a man was kneeling next to my car and fitting one of those yellow wheel locks on.

I lost all control, I was quite emotional at the time what with splitting up with my partner and moving home. I legged it down the street and as I neared my car the man stood up. There was another man behind him but I took all my fury out on the man who had been kneeling by my car.

I poked him in the chest several times whilst screaming like a banshee that wheel clampers were evil bastards etc etc.

He just stood there, in shock.

During my rant I turned to the wheel clamp and saw that it was not a wheel clamp at all. It was yellow wiring wrapped around a circular stand.

I stopped and looked at the two men and then spied a ladder behind them. My eyes travelled up the ladder and there was the Safeway sign which was lit up, except for the capital 'S'.

The penny dropped as I realised that they were not wheel clampers but were in fact electrical engineers sent to repair the fault 'S'.

I mumbled sorry then made it round the back of my car and for in and drove off as soon as I could.

During the whole shameful episode the two men stood there not uttering a word.

I fell over stepping onto a tube the other day - I think I was expecting a step or something, but the train was perfectly level with the platform. So, ha ha, ho ho, sympathetic smiles from other passengers, picked myself up, was teased by husband and sat down on flippy seats.

Got up a little too soon before stop, so sat down again, but the flippy seat had flipped, so I fell over AGAIN. Twice in 5 minutes on the same train.

And no, I wasn't drunk. I was just an idiot.

RabbitPies Wed 04-Jun-14 20:01:34

OMG poor you,Prue. grin

PrueDent Wed 04-Jun-14 20:06:18

I'm almost at the point where I can discuss it without turning a vibrant shade of beetroot Rabbit, but it will be several more years weeks before I can laugh about it wink.

Berryglitter Wed 04-Jun-14 20:08:08

This will out me but dp (same as above) called after a row and asked to make up... Said I'll pop over etc etc. So I was like oh no make up shenanigans, better make an effort. I was HANGING from a work night out the night before, so couldn't be arsed to shave my vajayjay. Thought oooh I have some nair. Whacked it everywhere, sat on my sofa, left it 7mins, went to rinse. OH THE PAIN. The burning, I had literally peeled my inside leg and fanny skin off. Luckily it was dp so we had a laugh and sex and it was fine. Until he left, the pain got worse, very worse, I was in agony. Dps mum.called and invited me over, had to explain the situation and sit on her sofa drinking wine with peas on my fanny purely because I'd naired and had sex with her son. It was hideous.

These are funny but Easter, your story had me howling! I've tears in my eyes! Especially when you said you'd poked him in the chest! Poor guy!!

rabbit that is fantastic!

I once began loading the dc into our waiting taxi except it wasn't and the (non-taxi) driver in the car was probably baffled but I didn't wait to find out.

EasterSundaySimmons Wed 04-Jun-14 20:17:20

At a wedding as we all left the church, we passed gravestones. One was adorned with flowers and their was a huge flowered wreath that spelt out SISTER.

I made a complete and utter tit of myself by declaring loudly, "Oh that's sad, the lady was a nurse!"

I have no idea what my brain was thinking!

EasterSundaySimmons Wed 04-Jun-14 20:18:01

There not their! Even more embarrassing!

FelixFelix Wed 04-Jun-14 20:23:08

Rabbit your taxi story is hilarious grin

Onesleeptillwembley Wed 04-Jun-14 20:33:58

I was about 13 and had just started a (lifelong) phase of swearing.
I was helping my brother with a barbecue but he kept telling me to bugger off as he had the 'I'm man I cook meat' bug which only comes out around barbies. He was prattling on about lighting the thing properly, really pissing about. Like an overgrown scout. So I left him to it and yelled 'oh go on then, Douglas fucking Bader'. It's easy to mix up with Baden Powell, in my defence. The weird thing is, he knew exactly what I meant, luckily and looked at me absolutely pissing himself, FROM HIS BLOODY WHEELCHAIR.

FruVikingessOla Wed 04-Jun-14 20:49:14

I've told this a number of times here, so I'll keep it brief.

It wasn't me that instigated this, but whilst a Police Officer (youngish male) was visiting our office and talking to me about a recent burglary at work, one of my younger, male colleagues made him a cup of tea in a mug like this. I wanted the floor to open up and swallow me!

Berryglitter Wed 04-Jun-14 20:51:21

Fru that's brilliant!

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