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I Carnt stop thinking about this women now.

(28 Posts)
livedtotellthetale Sun 25-May-14 17:33:37

Feeling a bit low this weekend its coming up to the aniversary of my dads death. Decided to take myself off to mass to light a candel. Came out of chuch and there was a women who was upset, saying she had left her dcs with her neighbour while she came to get money fron the cashpoint as she had packed her and Dcs stuff and got a taxi coming as she was leaving her abusive husband. She was in a panic as she had less money then she thought and he was due back and her neighbour had helped but couldnt afford any more.
I asked if i could help i had twenty pound in my purse and gave her that she hugged me and ran off. I told a friend who says i was probley scamed but my instintint tells me she was genuine.
I just carnt get her out my head and hope and her dcs got away

MTWTFSS Sun 25-May-14 17:37:24

This is why we all need MN business cards to hand out to people to tell them to come here for more support.

FYI You did a really lovely thing smile You should give yourself a pat on the back!

BigcatLittlecat Sun 25-May-14 17:37:52

I think that whether you were scammed or not you probably did the right thing. If someone is so desperate to say that to get money you did the right thing. There for the grave of God.

BigcatLittlecat Sun 25-May-14 17:38:28


I'd have done like you, that £20 could make a huge difference to her.

SecretWitch Sun 25-May-14 17:40:55

Whatever was the reason, she was a woman in need and you helped her. What a wonderful thing you did for a fellow being flowers

So sorry about the loss of your dad. Mine has been gone nearly thirteen years and I miss him every day..

magimedi Sun 25-May-14 17:41:34

Your instinct was probably right & you did a lovely thing there.


Timeandtune Sun 25-May-14 17:45:44

Well done for following your instincts. Sorry for the loss of your dad. I expect he would have been proud of such a generous and thoughtful daughter.

livedtotellthetale Sun 25-May-14 18:03:15

Thank you, I will never know what happend but hopefully she managed to get away, I know my dad whould have done the same. I am a bit lapsed chuch goer but felt i needed to go today so glad i did. I live in a big city and have gone quite hard to requests of money from people on the street.

WeAreEternal Sun 25-May-14 18:37:31

You did the right thing, I would have done the same.

BerniesBurneze Sun 25-May-14 18:45:04

You did the right thing flowers

Eminybob Sun 25-May-14 18:52:58

I would have done the same thing. In fact I did a while ago for a lady who had a sob story about something or other.

However......I related the story to my bil who is a local copper and he described the woman to me, says she is known for pulling this scam and she is getting the money to buy drugs. She tried it again with me a couple of months later. sad

Still, you did a good thing, you have no way of knowing if your lady was genuine or not.

Trillions Sun 25-May-14 19:01:27

Very common scam. I never help people with this sort of story. I find you can call the bluff by offering to buy them a travelcard/call a minicab for them... strangely, they only seem to want cash.

Still, at least you know you're a nice person unlike me flowers

everlong Sun 25-May-14 19:06:09

You were very kind OP.
Don't torture yourself. You may have helped a woman in need. Keep it at that.

Better to be scammed than not help someone in genuine need through cynicism.

WorraLiberty Sun 25-May-14 21:07:05

My thoughts are this...

If she left her kids with her neighbour to go to the cash point, and then realised there wasn't as much money as she thought

How come the neighbour had already helped her financially but couldn't offer any more?

The neighbour wouldn't know anything about it until the woman got back to the neighbour's house? confused

Frogisatwat Sun 25-May-14 21:27:05

Hmmm op I think you did a good thing. But I would err on the side of caution next time.

everlong Sun 25-May-14 21:48:31

Maybe the neighbour said she could only lend say £50 top but the woman was expecting more in the bank but it wasn't there so she was worried and upset that she might not be able to get away?

Worra I'm a cynical old boot ( not saying you are ) normally but I'd like to think this wasn't a scam. Who knows.

PortofinoRevisited Sun 25-May-14 21:53:23

Sorry - it was lovely thing you did, but I would say this was a scam.

WorraLiberty Sun 25-May-14 22:08:54

everlong I really am a cynical old boot grin

Sadly it's the area I live in

I don't think there hasn't been a single scam that hasn't been tried round here at some point.

I gave a lovely charming Irish man a couple of quid last year because he spun me a very realistic story of how his brother was in the local hospital, and he'd just come over from Ireland to visit him.

He said he'd got off at the wrong bus stop and asked me how long the walk was. I said it was at least an hour and that he should take another bus directly there. He didn't have change and the buses only accept the exact fare here. So I gave him a couple of quid and wished his brother well.

Fuck me, I was walking down a different street 2 months later when he approached me with the exact same story. Turns out he does it to everyone all the time angry

livedtotellthetale Mon 26-May-14 09:24:52

I can see that the chances of this being a scan are vry high. And maybe a diffrent time I would have had my guard up more. Will just have to think that on the chance it wasnt a scam I really helped somone in need .

Helpys Mon 26-May-14 09:27:09

That's a perfect way of look

Helpys Mon 26-May-14 09:28:19

'Looking at it'

Frogisatwat Mon 26-May-14 09:30:17

There probably was some sort of need there and if you want to look at it another way something has happened way down the line to push her to that 'need' so perhaps you did do a good thing in the grand scheme of things and you can give thanks that through different sets of circumstances that you live a very different life.
Its horrible to be duped though

Itsfab Mon 26-May-14 09:38:39

No need for people to be so forthright in their thinking it was a scam. You don't know it was. The OP did a good thing and would probably rather be scammed that refuse to help a genuine person in need.

I have never forgotten the woman who gave me money for the train in about 1991 when I was running away from a job that wasn't as advertised. I just wish I had thought to take her details so I could pay her back.

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