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If you didn't breastfeed, why?

(293 Posts)
stinkysox Mon 19-May-14 22:27:25

Not a judgy post at all, just curious. My friend recently gave birth and baby is straight on the bottle, as was her first. She has just been joking that her boobs are leaking and I was wondering why she wouldn't have a go at bf. She just said she doesn't want to.
Fair enough, each to their own. If you could,but didn't, can I ask why?

Dumplings4ever Mon 19-May-14 22:32:39

I breast fed both my DDs for about a week each then swapped to the bottle. The reason was the pain!!!!

I had a strong "let down" reflex which was so painful, exasperated by my tension so it became a self perpetuating problem. I decided to stop bfing as I was actually dreading the next feed.

Moving DDs onto the bottle was 100% right for all of us - feeding time became enjoyable and relax as opposed to uptight and tearful.

Pinkandpurplehairedlady Mon 19-May-14 22:34:40

I BF my first for 6 months and hated it. I had very bad PND and a lot of it was to do with trying to be the perfect mother. With my second I BF for a week and

stinkysox Mon 19-May-14 22:35:54

Oh I can absolutely understand stopping in those circumstances, I was thinking about people who don't want to, and have no intention of trying.

Pinkandpurplehairedlady Mon 19-May-14 22:36:03

Opps - sorry.

With my second I BF for a week and but found it was making me really anxious (is he getting enough milk, am I doing it right etc) so I switched him to formula and was much happier.

Welephant Mon 19-May-14 22:37:12

First baby, I didn't want to. Plain and simple. I was overwhelmed enough trying to look after a baby without trying to master BF too.

Second baby, tried it, didn't like it and was so fed up of it by the third week that I gave it up.

Third baby, tried it again, going well so far.

It's all down to personal preference and really, BF isn't for everyone and that's fine. It's a bit of a lottery, some babies will be easy to BF, others will be difficult. Some mothers will take to BF like a duck to water, others will struggle. With FF you know more or less how it'll go (excusing issues like reflux, which I wouldn't wish on anyone! - make bottle, give bottle, burp baby. At least you can see how much a baby is getting, you can share the feeding with your OH, etc.

deakymom Mon 19-May-14 22:38:07

not producing milk was what happened to me with number one number two my boobs were willing but nicu kept stuffing formula down his neck and telling me off because he wasn't "taking" to me number three i did not want to chance another incident of being kept in hospital due to feeding issues so i bottle fed him so they kept me in to make sure he was feeding enough one nurse thought it was hypocritical because they dont measure breast milk and 40ml every two hours is a whacking amount for a newborn to be forced to take especially of the ready mixed extra thick formula so we faked it and got him out it still took a few days (yes he did take 40ml a few days later he was fine)

CrapBag Mon 19-May-14 22:38:20

I have many reasons.

DS wouldn't latch, they tried hand expressing, got 1 drop in 20 minutes. I have a long term health problem that makes me very tired and after an exhausting night on a busy ward, they told me I couldn't go home until I got it. I was too exhausted to care and started the bottles. Plus his blood sugar was hovering around dangerous because it was 15 hours since he was born and he still hasn't fed.

DD latched so easily. Fed well but I HATE my nipples being touched and I actually couldn't take it as I was tensing and cringing every time. Plus it did make me so tired I could barely function.

TheNightIsDark Mon 19-May-14 22:38:54

Didn't want to. Wouldn't latch. Not enough milk.

poshme Mon 19-May-14 22:39:08

Tongue tie.

MrsJohnDeere Mon 19-May-14 22:40:19

Ds1 bf for 12 weeks. Hated every minute. Only started to bond with him once I changed to ff.

Ds2 tried bfing (under pressure from mws etc) but got mastitis and couldn't bear the pain so gave up (was glad of an excuse to do so tbh).

TheNightIsDark Mon 19-May-14 22:41:07

I didn't want to as I can't stand my boobs being touched (complete fuck up of an ex and sexual abuse issues). I'm also very self conscious and was freaking out about having to do it in public, what if I did it wrong and the baby starved etc. I was 20 when I had DS1 and didn't realise people got so worked up by how others fed their baby tbh.

FreudiansSlipper Mon 19-May-14 22:42:52

BF for 8 weeks though topped up with bottle as I hardly produced any milk so decided to not carry on

ds was never satisfied when I fed him despite being told by bf expert he was getting enough he clearly wasn't he was a very greedy baby though i am sure someone shall come along to tell me i would have produced enough milk if i only didn't ff too

LalyRawr Mon 19-May-14 22:43:44

BFing makes me feel sick.

The idea of a baby sucking on me makes me actually nauseous. The thought alone literally turns my stomach.

I can't be in a room with a woman breastfeeding. I have to leave. If I can't I will throw up. {Please note, I have NEVER told a breast feeding woman this!! I always say nothing and just walk away}.

There was no chance of me breast feeding! Figured Mini Rawr would prefer to be fed formula than thrown up on every feed!

I couldn't. I had no milk, none at all. I tried for over an hour with a baby on each side and then with a breast pump for a further hour and not a single drop of milk was to be seen. I had no leaking or anything in the last few weeks of pregnancy or any after the birth. No reason for this was ever found and remains a mystery to this day.

LucyBabs Mon 19-May-14 22:46:08

Same as wele I just didn't want to <shrug>

I didn't enjoy pregnancy and wanted my body back.

My three sisters bf their children as did my best friend, I was seen as the odd one for not even trying.

The idea of someone (even my own beautiful children) sucking milk from my breasts made me feel sick. Sorry.. that's just how I felt.

I have no problem with bf just a problem with me breastfeeding.

Spinaroo Mon 19-May-14 22:47:59

First baby- had decided I wasn't going to before she arrived- perhaps partly because of choices friends had made. When she was a few days old I started to wonder if I could change my mind as she looked so lovely and natural rooting around but I thought I had made my bed and should lie in it.

Second baby- had made conscious decision to feed but baby was having none of it - I was getting stressed, midwives did say they were starting to get slightly concerned and resorted to pouring milk in from a cup so as not to confuse him but I gave up when I had got nowhere after about a day.

3rd baby- again a conscious decision and the fact it was very straightforward with this one made it easy to continue.

I trued to BF DD1 mixfeed after a couple of weeks then FF from 5 months.

Reasons, 1) No useful advice from hospital, because she was only 6lb 2oz, they cup feed her a bit of formula. All but one MW (diing nights having just had a baby herself) were utterly and completely useless. Mothers wanting to BF awkward small babies were obviously a pest.

2) DD1 really hated BFing, she threw better tantrums at 5 months when you tried to feed her than she did at 2 years.

I BF DD2 for more years than she will let me say.

Reasons. 1) she was born at home, no MWs wanting to know if I'd succeeded in feeding ber, no tick sheet at the end of the bed.

2) She loved BFing, she knew exactly how to do it.

(She carried on working out how to do it long after she had teeth, and was far too big to fit on my knee or have a babies litle stub nose. Every now and again you'd realise she was holding her head slightly differently. She just loved feeding).

qazxc Mon 19-May-14 22:48:01

I can't speak for myself as am expecting PFB and am going to give BF a go.
But my mum didn't breastfeed me "because I didn't want to feel like a cow" confused. I also think that at the time and in the country I was born in BF was probably looked down on, ie you breasfeed because you are too poor to afford bottles.
My friend bottle fed from the word go because she said she just didn't feel comfortable with it, that she saw her breasts as sexual and it felt weird for her to use them in another way.

FelixFelix Mon 19-May-14 22:48:56

It was extremely painful and various midwives told me it was just my nipples needing to 'toughen up.' Had her latch checked so many times and told all was fine and it would stop hurting eventually. 4 weeks later it was just getting worse and I kept having panic attacks when feeding time came. It was awful. She's been FF ever since and I am very happy now. The lack of support I got has put me off BF and I'd happily FF if I have another.

HeyBungalowBill Mon 19-May-14 22:48:59

When DS was born he immediately latched on well and fed for around 15-20 mins.
So I was very pleased!

Later on he was such hard work. He wouldn't latch on properly or would and then suddenly come off and we couldn't get him to latch on again.
I was incredibly sore, I hadn't slept for 3 days straight, I'd just had a cat 1 emergency c section and he was starving and screaming! After many attempts even with the help of a breast feeding support worker we decided a bottle was a good idea for both me and DS.

I kept trying again with DS and it never improved so I expressed for a while inbetween his formula feeds.

Rather disappointed I didn't do it really sad

sillymillyb Mon 19-May-14 22:50:25

I bf for 5 months so don't know if I count, but I really didnt enjoy it. I felt like it was meant to be a special bonding time, and actually I was just exhausted and felt like a leaky cow. I had huge let down and leaked constantly, I was paranoid and scared to go out incase I leaked on my clothes as no breast pads would stop it.

Also, I am a lone parent, and I felt a bit trapped if I'm honest. No one else (my mum /sil) could take ds off me as he could only be fed by me. It felt like unrelenting responsibility, which was probably a reflection of being on my own in hindsight, but was hard none the less.

I switched to bottle, put a microwave and mini fridge In my bedroom, and felt human again smile

sillymillyb Mon 19-May-14 22:51:44

Should say, microwave and mini fridge were for night feeds... Not some bizarre way of celebrating by treating myself to household goods!

stinkysox Mon 19-May-14 22:52:12

Laly that made me grin sorry!
It seems the majority did try, or had a very good reason not to ( TheNight thanks )

Like I said, I was just curious. I was very lucky to have no problems breastfeeding but my reasons for doing so we're for ease and cheapness!

BackforGood Mon 19-May-14 22:53:15

I aimed for mixed feeding with dc1 - loved the fact that I could get a block of a few hours sleep whilst dh took his turn, but, quite soon, I realised I didn't like breast feeding, it was making me very tense, I was very concerned ds wasn't getting enough milk, and, weighing everything up, it was just the right decision for us as a family. I was less bothered with dcs 2 and 3, as I knew bottle feeding was just as good and had other advantages that breast feeding didn't.

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