Please note that threads in this topic are removed from the archive 90 days after the thread was started. If you would like your thread to be retrievable for longer than that, please choose another topic in which to post it.

Please can you come and review my plans for hospital visitors?

(11 Posts)
HomeIsWhereTheGinIs Sun 11-May-14 20:34:08

Hello all

I wonder if I could please ask you to cast your experienced eye over this plan that DH and I have made for the birth of our child as I worry we're being a bit over-enthusiastic?

We're having an ELCS on a Tuesday. That day DH will be with me (obviously) and my DSis (we're very close) will pop by for a visit in the evening that she's already told us will be less than half an hour.

My lovely ILs will come by the next day (Wednesday) in the afternoon after the catheter is removed for an hour (again, they know that we'll be tired and so won't stay too long). My darling dad lives abroad and is very keen to see the baby as soon as possible (his first grandchild). He's planning to fly in on the Wednesday with his girlfriend to visit until Sunday. Staying in a hotel as he knows guests might be a bit much immediately.

So here's my question. I get on fine with the girlfriend but they only just got back together after a break of a couple of years so I haven't seen her for ages. She doesn't speak English that well and DH has never met her and he doesn't speak her native language. DDad will want to come and see us in the hospital every day (fine) and then spend lots of time with us over the weekend once we leave. Can I have your opinions on the following please:
1. We would like the day we take our baby home (probably Friday), to be just us at home with him. Ideally we'd have the whole day to ourselves. How can I tell my DDad that without making him feel unwanted?
2. We will then have Saturday, Sunday and Monday with the family visiting. We thought we'd ask them to come over for lunch every day and then maybe tell them we'd like to have bath and bedtime to ourselves. Does this sound too much? They will help out at home.
3. Can I just ask when you all felt hormonal? I've been told by quite a few friends that the third day after the birth is a bit hormonal and weepy, is that right?

Are we over-reaching with the visitors? And if so, how do we ask them to lessen their plans? I am eager to show our baby off and share him, but don't want to end up weeping in a pile and wishing people would go away!

Scotslasslivinginfrance Sun 11-May-14 20:44:29

Sounds like you have given this a great deal of thought and are trying to think of everyone including your own needs. I would offer this to your family as the provisional / all going well plan but subject to change should either you or your husband feel so.

I would just say to your dad what you have said above basically, he is invited to visit in the hospital and day following your discharge from hospital but the first day at home is just for the 3 of you.

I can't see that anyone should have an issue with this and just take it step by step and reevaluate as you go along.

Hope it all goes well and enjoy those first moments...

bloated1977 Sun 11-May-14 20:46:19

Sounds far too much if you ask me. You'll want to establish your feeding and sleeping plus you'll want to be resting too. I'd leave the Sat/Sun/Mon family visiting if I was you.

Scotslasslivinginfrance Sun 11-May-14 20:48:23

As for baby blues, I didn't get them and I have friends that also didn't experience them, or were maybe vaguely aware of feeling a bit off but nothing major. So they may not even be an issue but if they do crop up and you feel weepy just kick your guests out... After they have done the dishes and made you a cuppa!

GwenStacy Sun 11-May-14 20:50:59

Are you planning to BF? I spent the first few days feeding almost non-stop, and wasn't able to do it overly discretely at first, so felt confined to a bedroom when we had visitors…

AnaisB Sun 11-May-14 21:02:03

I think that sounds reasonable with the proviso that you might make last minute changes dependent on how things are going. (If you are planning to breastfeed are you comfortable doing this in front of people?)

I felt a bit weepy 3-4 days after birth, but would have been fine having visitors.

I'm possibly in a minority, but I welcomed visitors to the hospital as I was extremely bored - and my memories and photos of first visits are lovely.

HomeIsWhereTheGinIs Mon 12-May-14 17:00:08

Thanks everyone, I appreciate the input!

elliejjtiny Mon 12-May-14 17:18:11

I would keep it flexible and when people ask about visiting just say that you'll let them know when you feel up to it. With DS1 I felt high as a kite the next day and wanted everyone I knew to visit. After that I was knackered and just wanted to snuggle in bed with my baby. With DS2 I just wanted my bed and with DS3 I was desperate for DS1 and DS2 to visit but nobody else. DS4 was born via a very traumatic elcs and I didn't want anyone to visit for at least a month.

BerniesBurneze Mon 12-May-14 17:22:43

I liked visitors to be honest. I didnt have a c section but it was a difficult birth. It was nice to sit for an hour a day and share the baby.

PrincessBabyCat Mon 12-May-14 17:44:08

Day 4 is when the crazy mood swings hit for me. They lasted about 2.5 weeks, but they were most intense the first week after birth before they just tapered off and went away.

Breastfeeding trouble = meltdown
Baby coughed on bath water = meltdown
Baby stopped crying when DH held her and not for me = meltdown

Everything was either amazing or terrible, no middle ground. Everything is fine now though (thank god, I don't think I could take more than a week of intense moods like that).

Personally, I was sick of any sort of human interaction after the hospital and being around nurses and doctors every couple hours. We got home from the hospital and kept people away for about a week so we could settle in read: sleep while hubby took care of baby.

I'd play it by ear. If you enjoy everyone at the hospital, you'll probably be fine. If you don't you'll probably want space at home. You could just ask for space, and then if you change your mind invite them over. It's easier to invite than to cancel plans.

ikeaismylocal Mon 12-May-14 18:25:38

I liked having visitors, I had a vaginal birth and physically I felt better after the birth than in the last few weeks of pregnancy. Emotionally I felt terrible from day 2 until ds was 3 weeks old, the negative emotions ( mostly anxiety and weepyness for me) really scared me. I felt much happier when we had visitors.

We did almost constant skin to skin with ds the first few weeks so we often had him tucked down our top, visitors just had to accept us as we were.

It is always lovely to hear how perfect and beautiful your baby is from visitors smile

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now