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Do you like weekends?

(40 Posts)
AngelsInWinter Sun 11-May-14 14:55:45

I feel like a total freak as I can't abide them. They were so boring when I was a child/teen as my parents couldn't be arsed with us, wouldn't let us have lunch most of the time cos they couldn't be arsed to get all the stuff out, we lived in the middle of nowhere with minimal public transport and no one my age and they rarely gave me lifts anywhere so I hardly did anything or saw anyone.

Then at 19 I became a single mum and hated the long weekends alone in my flat. My parents were unsupportive and my friends were all busy with their boyfriends, or away at uni.

Now I'm in a long term relationship and have three DC... I don't really know how to relax and get really stressed/down/annoyed with DP if we don't do anything. I feel guilty for the kids. He works a lot so presumably wants to rest a lot at the weekends. I'm a SAHM so can do everything I need to do (almost!) in the week.

I use find weekends boring and claustrophobic and depressing. I know, I'm weird. I don't even particularly like lay ins!

TinkyWinkyDipsyLalaPo Sun 11-May-14 15:04:25

I completely understand, I find being a SAHM is depressing generally.
DD is only 20 months, but I've had to stay caring for her after maternity due to her health problems and no suitable childcare. I'm hoping to go back to work this summer providing I can find a job available, but if I didn't have that to look forward to I don't know how I'd cope.

Is it feasible for you to go back to a job part time as a break?

RhondaJean Sun 11-May-14 15:05:13

I find them stressful.

I always feel like I should be relaxing and enjoying myself but I work ft, DH works ft including most weekends, I start my weekend off with an hour with my personal trainer (which is great for me but knackers my Friday night) then there are gym classes, football matches, life saving clubs, all the uniforms and my work clothes to be washed and ironed, the house will inevitably need a lot doing, trying to do something fun with the kids and then if I am going to have a social life I need to shoehorn it in as well.

Oh and usually food shopping, then I need to visit my parents every so often...

thefemaleJoshLyman Sun 11-May-14 15:06:59

I know how you feel. I get really 'twitchy' at weekends if we don't do anything. I also can't lie in so find days quite long. I could do housework or work alk day but then have an inner conflict that I should be spending quality time with Dh and dcs.

bunchoffives Sun 11-May-14 15:09:43

I know what you mean OP. I used to hate Sundays as this was the day we used to see my dad and I associated it with stress and anxiety and bullying.

But I guess as adults this is when you get to be in charge and do things differently.

Could you alternate childcare on Sunday mornings for example and do something you really want to do? Or write a list of the things you'd like todo.

HecatePropylaea Sun 11-May-14 15:10:47

Is there nothing you can do at the weekend? Take some time for yourself and go for a walk or a run? Find a hobby that gets you out of the house for a couple of hours?

Sundays when I was a kid were deathly dull. My parents would sleep all afternoon. But that was then and this is now and I am not the child who had to go along with what they wanted, I am a 40 year old woman with car keys and a credit card and I'll please myself and what we used to do when I was a kid is now totally irrelevant. grin

Can you find a balance even? Something for yourself, maybe something you do with the kids for an hour or two plus some planned activity on either sat or sun that you all do?

And learn to relax. (she says like it's so easy grin ) but try. Start small. Sitting for 10 minutes with a book or something. Even find breathing or other relaxation exercises. Balance it all with letting the kids have relaxation time. A lazy weekend is not in itself a bad thing and it isn't letting anyone down.

bunchoffives Sun 11-May-14 15:11:25

I know what you mean OP. I used to hate Sundays as this was the day we used to see my dad and I associated it with stress and anxiety and bullying.

But I guess as adults this is when you get to be in charge and do things differently.

Could you alternate childcare on Sunday mornings for example and do something you really want to do? Or write a list of the things you'd like todo.

AngelsInWinter Sun 11-May-14 15:13:58

TinkyWinky - that sounds hard. Oh don't get me started on having a part time job - I'll end up in tears! DP works whatever work he's told about that week. Sometimes he's away for two weeks, sometimes he does nights, sometimes he works 70 hours, sometimes he gets two random days off. So I don't think I'd be able to get a job, because he's not around to help with child stem necessarily (not sure we could afford two DC in nursery).

Rhonda - I think if quite like to be so busy blush can you get a food shop delivered at some point in the week?

Thefemale - yep, that's me. I find it therapeutic king housework/decluttering alone. But then like you say the kids would probably be bored.

The problem is I'm jealous of DP's ability to just be chilled out and relax. I hate doing nothing, I hate having no one to talk to!

ByTheSea Sun 11-May-14 15:14:22

I like them a lot better as a WOHM than I did as a SAHM.

AngelsInWinter Sun 11-May-14 15:15:23

Lots of manky typos, sorry...

rainbowfeet Sun 11-May-14 15:23:19

Hate them... I'm a lone parent no family close by.. Few friends but all got partners & family so usually school pick up fri is the last time I might speak to an adult until Monday morning!! hmm

Limited funds so not much we can do on a Saturday & no public transport on a Sunday!! hmm

RhondaJean Sun 11-May-14 15:25:50

I do sometimes get a click and collect and DH picks it up but I Am a fussy bugger like to pick my own perishables.

I like being busy but it's the relentlessness I find hard. Tonight I won't be caught up with everything but there's a new week starting and I won't have time again until next weekend..

I think the problem is there is no balance really for either of us. My weekends are too crammed and yours are too empty.

What would you like to do if you had to think about your ideal weekend?

ThePowerOfMe Sun 11-May-14 15:30:13

Do you plan your weekends?
I find relaxing easier if we've done something and I've 'planned' time to relax.
Relaxing still involves doing something though - watching a film/tv, reading etc so I plan that time in.

revealall Sun 11-May-14 15:30:17

Agree with everyone. Perhaps it's more a rural thing.
I also hate that everyone else is out too if you decide to do anything. Can't abide the hordes, queues and problematic parking you get wether it be fetes, beach,parks or shops.

restandpeace Sun 11-May-14 15:30:36

Not really. Just given up working them and a bit meh. Have had lie ins, went to a birthday party, friends fir drinks and played on wii. Taking dd1 riding soon.

LemonPipLimePeel Sun 11-May-14 15:37:54

now I feel awkwardblush because I bloody love the weekends!
We don't have to be up at 5:30, I can sleep until 8. We have combat training Saturday mornings, which gives a huge adrenaline rush. Then we go and 'poot out and about' maybe check out a yard sale, or a new cafe, or go look at nice "someday" houses.
We usually have guests for dinner, or we are invited to friends for dinner, on Saturdays.
Sundays are for beach walks, sailing, hiking, or exploring.
The kids (older teens) use Sunday to have friends around, or go visiting.
Sunday night we usually do a big spread, and then watch movies as a family in the evening.

blondebitsinmyhair Sun 11-May-14 15:42:49

No!

AngelsInWinter Sun 11-May-14 15:43:10

Oh I'd love to plan weekends. I'd write a little timetable on the whiteboard and everything blush

But me and dp are such opposites sad he couldn't organise a food fight in a bakery. So even if we make plans he still forgets about them almost instantly and isn't fussed if we don't so as planned.

Also, can I ask - DS goes to his bio grandparents' on a Saturday. They always do something fun with him, but I feel like me, DP and our DDs can't really do a family activity on a Saturday and then relax on a Sunday because it would be unfair to DS (he's 5). Would it be unfair?

AngelsInWinter Sun 11-May-14 15:44:10

Lemon - that sounds perfect. Just DP isn't really a natural "family man". He's so young (we both are but he's younger) and I feel like he's always bored/embarrassed to be seen with our brood/wanting to be somewhere else.

mumofboyo Sun 11-May-14 15:46:46

No! I look forward to Mondays when I can go back to work and the dc can go back to nursery. I love going out to do a job I really enjoy and then coming home to an empty, silent house. Some weeks I dread Thursdays and Fridays when I'm home alone with the dc; but the weekends are sometimes more stressful because it's like there are 2 bosses (me and dh)!

ThePowerOfMe Sun 11-May-14 15:55:58

I don't think its unfair on your ds at all if you do something on a Saturday without him. Its not fair on your dds if you do nothing with them at all.

My dh is more of a homebody whereas I love to be out and about. I've given up trying to force him out every weekend and just go out with the kids myself or go with friends. Don't waste your weekends.

BackforGood Sun 11-May-14 15:57:22

I love weekends, but then I've always WOTH, and always been involved with things, many of which happen at weekends.

How old are the dc ? Are they old enough to be involved in things like Scouts / Guides / Dance / Football which will put some structure into your weekend if you don't feel able to work due to child care ?

Are you signed up to e-mails / Facebook groups for things going on in your area? If I went to 1/10th of the things available around here, I'd fill the weekends no problem...mostly free events.

Frorg Sun 11-May-14 16:09:33

Lemon yours sound lovely smile

I've had a deliberately lazy one this weekend as we've been away the past few weekends and I felt like we needed to recharge and touch base a bit. I've caught up on a few jobs, the dc have played with their toys and watched tv but I still feel like we should be doing something.

I'm a bit socially awkward so although I quite like the idea of doing stuff with other people, having them over for dinner etc I don't really know how to make it happen. My good friends all live the other side of the country (hence the regular weekends away) and tbh although I have friends here, they aren't really people I want to spend my weekends with. More people I see at work, or have a coffee with, or go for a drink with. Superficial friends I guess.

I'm hoping that if I pass my driving test next week it will make it easier for me and the dc to do fun stuff, like go to different parks, the woods, the beach, bowling etc without having to pay a fortune in bus/train fares or rely on my bf wanting to or being able to go with us. I also need to have the confidence to say "going to the beach today, anyone want to meet us there" etc without worrying that they'll all be busy and my confidence left shattered blush

Psycobabble Sun 11-May-14 16:10:57

I feel the same about Sundays lol need to do something or they just depress me !

Frorg Sun 11-May-14 16:19:02

Oh you know how some people make an event out of everything? Like me and the dc watching a film together is just me and the dc watching a film together but to many of my fb friends it's "Family Movie Night!!! #popcorn #onesies #lovemykids". Same for board games or walks or trips to the park. I think maybe adopting that mindset can help you feel busier grin

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